A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:here is my dilema...my boyfriend of 5 years is lazy , has lied a lot in the past, I found out last year that he got oral from another man when he was in his teens .. i have been thru a lot with this guy.. but i am the kind of person that sees the good in everyone despite there flaws so I gave him several chances... oh yeah he drinks a lot. i asked for him to stop and he does try, i give him that, but occasionally does drink which in reality I am ok with it.anyways yesterday i get home from work he has some flowers for me and a little letter saying how much he loves me blah blah blah... so I am like oohhhh how nice then he comes to me and kisses me and smells like alcohol (which i said i dont really mind) the thing is he has no money cause he does not work so I ask how he bought it ... he admitted he took money from my daughters room... not much but the fact that he went into my daughters stuff to get money to buy beer really pissed me off. he said he had the intention of putting it back which i do believe, but the fact that he could take something from my baby without asking really pissed me off as a mother it hurts... I have put up with a lot and have had nothing but patience and forgiveness for this guy, but to me this hurt the most... even him hiding the fact that he was with a guy years ago did not hurt this much... by the way he is not my daughters dad but tells everyone that she is his daughter. I dont understand what the F went thru his head ... I feel like I should not even bother with him anymore... he will never change his ways and for him to do this makes me wonder what else he is capable of....I am not those types of women who would let ANYONE ever hurt my daughter...so I am soooo upset... the question is should i be??? He kept saying how horrible he felt and how he knew it was so wrong to do it but yet he did?????? someone shine some light on this for me ....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): I can't believe you're even asking the question. Get rid of him immediately.
A
female
reader, hdh2170  +, writes (9 April 2011):
first of all, him getting head from another man when he was in his teens is BEYOND irrelevant. That being said, stealing stuff from your children is wrong and you should have kicked him out immediately for that. Ok, so that's an overstatement, but it seems like you LET him walk all over you. If he is a grown man don't let him mooch off of you and steal money to get drunk. Tell him to get his act together or get out ( if that is what you want him to do).
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 April 2011):
 I know you like to see the good in everyone, but this guy sounds like a bum. Who steals money from their partner's kid to buy beer? That's a very very very low thing to do. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you or her, but the fact that not only did the thought even enter his mind to sneak into a teenager's room to steal money, but actually did it, does not make him sound like a very good person. Plus the fact that he lies a lot does not paint him as a very trustworthy person.
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A
female
reader, annakat +, writes (9 April 2011):
 Yes you have every right to be upset. I'm sorry, but you should break up with him. Even if it hurts him, even if it hurts you, it needs to be done. He never will change and one day he'll take it too far. You need to end it before that day comes. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, lovelyeyes +, writes (9 April 2011):
Omg. He doesn't feel bad about anything. Btw how do u expect him to put the money back if he doesn't have a job. So what good is this guy doing for u and your daughter besides driving u crazy and stealing money,and drinking all day. Its time to stop feeling sorry for him and feel sorry for yourself that your putting yourself through this. Its been 5 yrs and your life hasn't gone anywhere w/this guy so what's the point of being w/him?
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A
male
reader, jayokayo  +, writes (9 April 2011):
 he drinks, he stole and invaded your daughters privacy he gave you flowers and a bla bla letter and stank of booze when he gave them to you which was bought from your daughters money he stole. just a few highlights from what you wrote.Get rid of him, It is all well seeing the good in people as that is the way I am but sometimes the good in them isnt enough if it remains inside of them, you are wasting your time with this guy as it seems he is never going to stop. He is taking advantage of your good nature, and also as you have said what else could he be capable of, Dont wait to find out get rid of him now before you totally regret it. 5 years is a long time to have put up with this guy, its time to give yourself and your daughter a better life without the hassle of guys like him.
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