A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So Im in college and my best friend is a year older than me. In a way, he's always been my "wingman" but recently it seems he ends up taking the girl I'm aiming for. The first time it happened, I met this super hot chick at a party me and my friend were at. I introduced myself and my best friend, got her number and we started talking. Next thing I know, I'm making out with her on her couch a few weeks later. I dont want to date her, because she was pretty stupid, (but VERY HOT) anyways behind my back my friend starts texting her and he takes her to a frat party and ends up kissing her and fingers her also! He doesn't tell me for A MONTH. when he does he says "your just mad cuz I got farther with her than you did." I was pissed, but I just brushed it off bc he's my best friend and she was just a stupid girl. Now a couple months later, I meet this beautiful girl at work, and my best friend works in the same place. I start talking to her FIRST and sit with her and get her number. He jokes with me and says hey watch out bro I might get her first! But I thought he was joking he told me Im just kidding bro Ill let you have her. Well, I ask her to go out sometime and she says no sorry I;m too busy (with work, classes, etc.) So I say ok maybe next week or something. Turns out my friend says "hey dude guess what I got a date with "***** friday night! He makes a big joke out of it and rubs it in my face saying "haha this sounds familiar bro" So my question is "Is my friend justified in his actions or am I right to be mad? Also, should there be any ground rules between us when meeting a girl at the same time? If so what should they be? Because I don't want to ruin a great friendship but I also want to continue to be his wingman since we meet a lot of girls together.
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male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 He is not a friend. Get rid of him. Friends don't do that to friends.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Good grief. You both sound like dogs fighting over a bone.
Fire him as your wingman. You're as much into this "competition" as he is. You're just mad that it seems like he's winning. Come on...making out with her but not wanting to date her??
Both of you are immature. If you really were interested in meeting someone on a relationship basis, you'd do it alone and not need any sort of "wingman".
Other than that, enjoy your games, boys.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): He sounds like a terrible friend. Not only by going after girls he knows you like, but also his attitude about it. Really not nice. I think you should ditch him and find some real friends.
Also, you mention that one of the girls was really stupid and you wouldn't want to date her. Except that she was really hot. The problem seems to be that you are going after pretty girls without much substance, and if you can call them stupid, you obviously don't have much respect for them. Why not try not hooking up with random hot girls for a while and wait until you meet a nice, intelligent girl who likes you for who you are and won't kiss you only to turn around and let your "friend" finger her. That's skanky.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 September 2011):
 He clearly sees 'getting girls' as a competition with you and knows how to push your buttons. You're trying to be a player but are being outplayed.
I don't see many signs of a 'great friendship' in what you've written about him.
If you are abiding by the rules of some silly game, don't be surprised if the game doesn't go your way.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 September 2011):
 I agree with CaringGuy. "dump" your friend. And if you see a girl you want to get to know, go for it. If you continue to have this guy as your WINGMAN,then don't point out what girl YOU are "after".
Sounds like a dumbass game honestly.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 September 2011):
A good friendship? Far from it. He uses you to get to girls. Then he rubs your face in it and laughs at your expense.
That's not a friend. That's a backstabbing SOB who you don't need in your life.
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