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Best friend and I like the same girl. She likes me. Do I ask her out and betray my friend?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 December 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 December 2011)
A male Australia age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I really like this girl and she told me she liked me but the problem is that my best friend likes this girl too and everyone knows that he does. Everyone also knows that this girl likes me but almost noone knows I like her.

So here's the situation

My best friend likes a girl

I like the same girl (but only five or six people know and I'm not sure if she knows it)

Everyone knows that my best friend is obsessed with this girl

So here's the question:

Should I betray my best friend and ask the girl that he's obsessed with out or should I just leave it

View related questions: best friend

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 December 2011):

Honeypie agony auntIf he is obsessed with her, I wouldn't ask her out. I would talk to him though if you still want to, but I rather not have a date/GF then lose a friend.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (9 December 2011):

chigirl agony auntLeave the girl. Best friend trumps girl any day. If you really want her you need to ask your friends permission, otherwise the rule is that he who saw her first gets her.

Same rules go between girl friends, if a girl has her eyes on a man the friends need to respect that or else the friendship is over.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwhat's the saying "bros before hos"

you should NOT betray your friend. IF you want to ask her out you should talk to him first...

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (9 December 2011):

TasteofIndia agony auntYou should talk to your best friend! The worst thing you could do would be to go behind your friends back and ask her out. That's no good! So, you should be honest with him and tell him you like this girl too. If he liked her first, you should at least take that into account when making a decision. Maybe you'll want to give him a little time to get over her, especially if he knows she likes you and now it's mutual. Seeing that you care about him by giving him time will mean a lot. That doesn't mean you should wait forever, but at least give the guy a little respect and don't jump on the girl immediately!

So, talk with him, be honest and be considerate of the fact that he may not take it easily (but at least you're doing the right thing and being honest). Good luck!

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A female reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX United Kingdom +, writes (9 December 2011):

Xx-Scorpio-xX agony auntMaybe you could ask your friend how he'd feel about it first, before going ahead with it as if you go out with the girl behind his back it could ruin your friendship for life. If he isn't happy about it, then don't go out with her and try and find another girl.

Good Luck ^_^

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011):

At your age especially, I'd say it's not worth risking the friendship. I know I would be pretty hurt if a friend did that to me, and even moreso at your age. If you're really 13-15, it's probably not going to be the relationship that turns into marriage, but your friendship will probably last a lot longer than your relationship with the girl would. I would just leave it alone...maybe your friend will eventually find someone else and then you can ask this girl out.

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