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writes: I am 15 years old and I am in love with a teacher at my school who is 25 years old, I may sound naive but it's not a silly little crush and I didn't choose to like him and I have never been a believer of age meaning anything, also he is single so i wont be homewrecking but I never get time alone with him because the only time I see him for long enough is when im at school and that would be awkward for me to just come up with it when I see him, It's hard for me to just forget him because when I don't speak to him he speaks to me and I've only got a year left but when I leave the school I won't even know how to get in contact with him again so I want to set things straight between me and him now, I just dont know how to.. advise please?
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crush, my teacher Reply to this Question
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male
reader, meena_strange  +, writes (20 April 2010):
is it really love or just admiration?i think u're too young to do this
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female
reader, Polaroid93  +, writes (20 April 2010):
Think about how he sees you, you'll seem like a stupid little girl, no offence but I doubt the feeling is mutual and if you tell him then you'll be embarased
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female
reader, angelcake +, writes (20 April 2010):
 Babe that's won't happen it's really hard to find someone on mid 20's who already have a career would be interest to a 15 years old girl Don't generalize this kind of insanity theirs plenty of young boys out there I know you're a pretty girl. please I'm begging you if you told him you would be embarrassing and I think he's really care about his job...........I hope you change your mind sweetheart
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 April 2010):
 It's not silly but it is a crush, so you'd best make sure you don't say or do anything that will embarrass yourself. Teachers are trained on how best to handle these situations so if you proclaim your love to the guy he'll try to be kind but it most likely will be very humiliating for you. Don't go there sister.
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (20 April 2010):
 He sees you as a pupil and a child.
Nothing will ever happen between you, and if it did, he would be sacked, his career would be ruined, he would never be allowed to work with children again, and possibly end up in jail. Do you want that?
I know it feels like true love, and that you really love him, but it is just a crush. You will grow out of it, and when you are a bit older you will look back and wonder what on earth you were thinking!
But it is ILLEGAL for any teacher to have ANY form of romantic relationship with a pupil. You are only 15, so legally you are underage. Any type of romantic or sexual behaviour on his part is against the rules, and he would be severely punished for it. Teacher-pupil relationships are not appropriate, even at University. They are NOT ALLOWED.
When we sign up to be a teacher, we agree to something called "duty of care". Which essentially means, that while you are under our supervision, we are responsible for you like a parent would be.
I advise you to move on, and focus on your school work. If you make ANY advances towards this man, he will have to inform his superiors, Head of Department, Head Teacher etc. This is standard procedure, so that if you then go and accuse him of something, inappropriate touching, sexual harrassment, he is backed up by evidence which shows that YOU were chasing him, not the other way around. If you get too obsessed with him, your parents will be contacted.
There is nothing between you, so there is nothing to set straight. You will not have a relationship with him, so he doesnt need to know how you feel. This may sound hard, but it is the best thing for you, because you will only make yourself feel foolish and embarassed.
NO 25 year old man would be interested in a 15/16 year old girl. This may not be what you want to hear, but it just will not happen. He is a fully grown adult man, who wants a relationship with a woman, who is at the same place in her life. He has a full time job, he has been to university, he has he own house, a mortgage, a car...You are at very different places in your life.
You have SO MUCH growing to do in the next 5 years, by the time you are 20, you will not recognise yourself now. You will realise how little you knew at 15, and that this is just a crush.
You said "I have never been a believer of age meaning anything". You are only 15, you do not have any experience to say that age means nothing. When you are 25, you will realise that age DOES mean something, and you would NEVER consider going out with a teenage boy. Trust me. Until you get there, you will not understand. or lets look at it in the other direction. You are 15 now... the equivilant would be you going out with a 5 year old. That is how he sees you. Aww isnt she sweet. You are a child to him.
He will not want to see you or socialise with you once you have left - 25 year olds do not hang out with teenagers. He will want to go out with his friends, pubs, clubs, cinema (you are only just old enough to see 15 films). You cant drink, you cant drive, you are underage.
At the moment, you are unable to give an adult man the type of relationship that they require. And I am not just talking about sex, it is about emotional maturity and life experience, something that only comes with age.
You need to move on and find boys who are your own age.
If you pursue this, it will only cause trouble for you, and may well cost this innocent man his job. Be careful.
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (20 April 2010):
 I know this is going to be hard to hear, but you asked. This is a text book crush, and we've all been through it ourselves when we were your age. Once you get older you will understand that, unfortunately for you, normal people aren't interested in 15 year olds when you are in your mid-20's and up. Now, there is always an exception to the rule, but it's not in a good way. Guys or girls SHOULDN'T be interested in people that age, especially their students.
Unfortunately, this is just something you're going to have to learn for yourself over time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): Seriously, I sooooo understand how you feel I been in the same situation but my teacher was leaving.I would totally recomend not saying how you feel about him... at least for now. Ive learnt recently that even the strongest relationships can change overnight.If i were you I'd leave it untill you've left school at least. i know it will be hard but you can still be friends with him in the meantime. We were. stay behind after class and get to know him... ask for his email - just say you need some help with your class work or something. Get to know him that way, it will help you to understand how you really feel about him. then you can decide what to do after you've left.seriously though dont do anything while your still in school, he could loose his job from it.i know you cant see it right now - you think you'll love him till the day you die - but it will probally just fade.I'd just recomened being close to him as a frind for now.hope this helps :)
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (20 April 2010):
 When you turn 18 than come back and give it a try right now leave him alone it's against the law.
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female
reader, toniaa +, writes (20 April 2010):
 hi thereokay you say its not a silly crush for this teacher but you are just 15 years old? i think you really should try and forget about him as he could be sacked from teaching at this school and at any school students and teachers really shouldnt date eachother. its good that you havnt told him anything as he could report this to the head teacher and your parents which could lead you into trouble. i would go with somebody your own age please let me no if i have helped
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is young too and I can't forget it
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