A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I wanted to ask, my husband since we got married stop wanting sex with me from the wedding night and even the honeymoon, in four years of marriage we had little sex, I was always crying for it, yes crying, I am not fat, I am young and I am Latin, he had no reason not to dessire me, before we got married he wanted sex several times a day, that's why I married him, since the wedding night, I better dont count how many times we did it in 4 years.I always tried to solve this, by speckaing, seducing, demanding, crying,etc, I almost got crazy and that is another readon why I left this man. Now this man really loved me or what?, was he normal?I am grieving from this relationship that took my life and soul I ama moving on, but I wanted to know your opinion on this, did he love me? or just used me?My psicologist said his mother raised him wrong and controls him so he depends psiquicly of her, and that's is part of the reason he doesnt enjoy sex.Now I got away and I am gettting divorced, for many other reasons, but I wantt o know our opinion on why he could have acted like that, he is Eastern European, but befre we got married he was great in sex, but please some answers.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): Well, the psychologist will say anything to make you feel good, since it's his job.
But, regarding your man, I guess he just got bored of you; something like he didn't liked the milk anymore after he's got the cow :)
Anyway, you did good you left him, if he cannot love you anymore, then what's the point living together, right? I'm sure you'll find someone much better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): Well, you should just put this behind you, because you will likely never know the reason. Beyond that, his change is really confusing. I know that many women have lost their sex drive after starting on birth control pills or taking an anti-depressant or after having children, but it seems unusual for a man to just lose his sex drive like that. Even for woman, it is unusual for those who have not all of a sudden gone on some medication that commonly causes this.
Did he happen to have to start taking some medication around the time that you got married? That is the only thing that I can think of that would make sense.
I have to question the assertion that he just doesn't enjoy sex. If that is the case, why did he want it so much before marriage? If he was forcing himself to have sex, then I would think that he would have not done it more than once a day or more likely a couple of times a week. I don't think you will ever understand this.
By the way, although I believe that a similar sex drive is important for a successful relationship, you have to build a marriage on a lot more than that. There has to be more in common than just the sexual part, even though that is very important.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Well, you say that you left and are divorcing. Put it all behind you and find a better mate rather than dwell on a mistake. We would not know "why" he was a weirdo, but he may have had affairs going on.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (17 December 2009):
 you said you married him because he wanted sex alot that tells me all i need to know thats gotta be the one of the top dumbest reasons to get married, i understand marrying for money or to unites waring clans but marrying for sex is pretty mutch destined to be a disaster. who knows whar the problem is have you ever just asked your husband why he doesnt have sex with you anymore he could have a medical condition. or maybe for some crazy reason hes cheating on his hot Arubian wife hey if Tiger woods can do it any one can well you sound like the type of girl i would dream but the bottom line is theres only one person who can answer this qestion for you, you need comunication in a marriage its 10% sex and 90% compromise. Its freezing in my neck of the woods Aruba sounds nice about now.
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