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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Ok here it goes. Ive been with my boyfriend for the last 3 years but for the last 6 months ive got a huge crush on my boss.This isnt the only problem, im 19 and he is 9 years older than me. I know he likes me to beacuse we always flirt and text each other and a little while ago we kinda slept together. Its not just a sex thing we spent all nite cuddling and we chat about everything. Things between us werent wierd after and we still get on really really well. I had never even considdered cheating on my boyfreind befor this. Oh and another thing my boss also came out of a 7 year relationship only 6 months ago. So i dont know what to do. Should i stay with my boyfriend who im drifting apart from anyway or persue something with my boss even if he is my boss and 9 years older than me. Help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2006): I think it is very inappropriate of your boss to be carrying on with you like he is...this can only end badly with you or he getting fired for it....A boss has all of the power over you and your job, and it is considered a misuse of power to have an affair with one of your staff, he being 9 years older than you ought to know this by now.
Another red flag for me is that he just ended a 7 year relationship and in less than 6 months is taking up with a much younger person whom he supervises....he is on the rebound and rebound relationships for men are often with much younger women to help rebuild his hurt ego and give him a sense that he is an attractive man...I am not saying that he does not like you, he does, but you are headed for more trouble than you bargained for.
As for what to do, you put it to a choice between these two men as if that is your only choice. You have a third choice, you could stop flirting and sleeping with your boss, break up with a boyfriend of three years which is probably run its course since you started dating him at the age of 16 and are now hopefully a more grown up version of yourself, and get out there on your own as an independent single young woman and learn more about what you are capable of without a man to help define you, and then you may attract someone who is more appropriate for you age wise, and interest wise, and who is not taking advantage of his position and not caring about you in the process.
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