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Baby's names! who gets the last word?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2008)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

A while ago, I wrote in about wanting to be preggie all the time, even though a baby is still out of the question for some particular reasons which I will not discuss at this time because, well, they're irrelevant to the question, and the question being about names.

What if, let's say, I got pregnant with a girl and I picked a name he totally hated. What then? How would you handle it. :) Just curious.

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (21 January 2008):

In some places the mother has a legal right to name the baby and in other places it's the father.

That technicality aside - it's one of those decisions that couples make by whatever method suits them. My father had a Scottish surname and my parents paired it with Scottish given names for all four kids (Kirk, Bonnie, Dale, Neal), even though neither he nor any of us has ever set foot in Scotland.

My wife & I didn't continue the tradition. We wanted names that were common but not widely used so our kids wouldn't be one of 7 "Bobs" or one of 5 "Marys" in their school classes. We used Wendy, Nathan, Joy and Paul. We gave them very common middle names - Joe, Lynn, Mark and Jill - that they could use instead of their first names if they wanted to blend in more.

"Nathan" and "Joy" had particular meaning to my wife & I for reasons I won't discuss here. "Joy" has had a LOT of fun with her name since the word is widely used in other contexts - especially around Christmas. We never anticipated all the delight that would bring her as a child.

When we learned the predicted due-date of our last kid I (only half jokingly) insisted that it would be named "Noelle" or "Noel", because it was OBVIOUSLY my Christmas present! She said that NO kid - least of all a girl - should have to give that explanation for the origin of his/her name. Sure enough, the baby arrived on schedule on Sept 25. She made it a point to tell every doctor, nurse, intern, orderly and janitor in the delivery room that the baby's name would be one of the other names we had selected, NOT "Noel" nor "Noelle", even if she was unconscious at the time of delivery.

(OK, so it's a little obscure. How long is it from Christmas to Sept 25? No, not 3 months. START at Christmas and end on Sept 25th. That's right - guess what I got for Christmas! Extra credit: Why should a child born on Nov 14 be named "Valentino" or "Valentina"?)

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A female reader, Dawnie United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2008):

Dawnie agony auntWell it has to be a name you both like for starters and it needs to go with your surname. When i was pregnant with my son my husband wanted to call him after his father who was Edward Lewis, we changed it around to Lewis Edward and to this day i love the name Lewis. With our daughter there were about 10 names, my husband liked Lara(yes after Lara Croft) i did'nt, i liked Sophia, he wasn't so keen. In the end we went through the list together and there was Megan on there, we both liked it and so did Lewis. Again i am really pleased with her name, it suits her. Hope this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all your responses!

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A female reader, Devilish Angel United States +, writes (21 January 2008):

Devilish Angel agony auntOne way you could compromise is to give the baby two names with your chosen name as the first. Another is that he gets to name the boys and you get to name the girls.

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A female reader, xapathyxrebornx United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2008):

xapathyxrebornx agony auntIf you and your partner plan to have a child you both sit down and talk about names and both aggree and put in ideas.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (21 January 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntI wouldn't worry about that right now. When the time comes, you'll reach a compromise!

Try to pick a name that goes ethnically with your last name. If your last name is short, use a first name with more than one syllable. If the last name is long, like McGillicutty, pick a short first name like Sam. Try to pick a name that isn't too hard for a young child to say or learn to spell, it will help them once they are school-age. AND the number one way to name a baby? Go to the back door, stand on your porch, and scream all three names at the top of your lungs, like you are calling them home for dinner or like they are in trouble for some reason. If you can't do it, and it doesn't feel right, it's probably not the name for you. I loved the name Jonathan, but it sure sounded ridiculous when I yelled out that one, so our son got named Alex instead. LOL!

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (21 January 2008):

O Connor agony auntwell anyone that is ready to have a baby would not be writing in with these hypothetical problems, and two ppl in a mature relationship would be able to come to a compromise with this issue. your obviously nowhere near ready so i would stop worrying about issues that are nowhere near cropping up for you

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (21 January 2008):

Well in a healthy relationship you would find a name you both like and can agree on.

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A female reader, tj1091 United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2008):

Well if i was in that situation, I would probably try to choose a name that me and my partner both liked, or maybe one of you could choose for a girl and one of u for a boy? Or ask your partner to choose the middle name if you have your mind set on it.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (21 January 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntIt depends on who is the more domineering in the relationship.

There is always the compromise .

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