A
male
age
41-50,
*opelessLee
writes:So I am at my girlfriends parents house an meeting them for the first time. During this time everything is going well an we talk and really get to know one another. I also meet the grandparents an everything is also seeming going really well. Yaaaay!!! Well, not too fast:( on the way out her grandma gives me a big hug and then tells me how wonderful it was to meet me and all of these great things but calls me by her ex's name :(:(:(. What!!' I immediately got really embarrassed and tried playing it off really well. But I wear my heart on my sleeve so my attempt was poorly executed. I was progressively angrier and angrier as the night went on. Am I being ridiculous?Does this mean that he is still very much a part of her life that her grandparents are calling me by his name?Am I just a rebound and there are a lot of similarities between me and this guy which I never met by the way?I don't know what to do, a part of me wants to walk away and say good luck and have a good life. I feel like I shouldn't be so mad but I feel really hurt.Any advice will help, thanks:)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): Haha this happened to me once. This guy I was dating brought me over for dinner and in front of his WHOLE family at the dinner table his mom called me by his ex girlfriends name. I think she was more embarrassed than me.
It's really not a big deal. Older people are absent minded and she did not say it to be malicious or hurt you. That would be the only instance where it would bother me too, if it was malicious. But you know it wasn't. It was an accident. Loosen up, don't be mad, your gf loves you. Be more confident and let it go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): Here is my take on things. I'd think about walking away.Clearly you are always going to be in the shadow of this guy. Now the only reason the grandmother said your exes name, is because the others are too polite and too young to do something like that, whereas the old woman isn't. I wouldn't walk away JUST YET, but I'd definately think about if I want to be second best.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (3 April 2013):
 I laughed a little when I read this. Calm down pal. Its not a big deal at all. It happens and it doesnt mean anything.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 April 2013):
 Eh, I don't really see the big deal. Next time she might call your GF by her mom's name.
My maternal grandmother had 18 grand-kids and I can tell you this even when she was young and spry she would STILL mix up the names, we just took it graciously and sucked it up.
So yea, IMHO you are being ridiculous.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): My parents mix my exes up all the time, and they are mid 50's and not senile. I'm not offended, because I know no harm is meant.
It's not like your girlfriend is the one calling you by an ex's name. Grow up!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 April 2013):
 Oh and OP I wasn't laughing at you or being overly harsh.
I was thinking about my dear grandmother (who sadly died when I was 21) She always got names confused, She would start with her oldest daughter (my aunt) and work her way down from oldest to youngest including the dogs owned by all her kids... she never got the name right till the last person.
So my grandmother would call my by my DOG'S NAME once in a while. We just laughed it off.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 April 2013):
Well if you are 30 something and your girlfriend is around your age that means her grandmom is at least 70ish I would hope.
so she had a slip of the tongue and you are ANGRY at it?
why are you angry?
why would a slip of the tongue by her grandmother mean he's still a part of her life? WOW. Just WOW.
why would what your girlfriend's GRANDMOTHER does make you a rebound for your girlfriend. That's stinkin thinkin.
So you want to walk away from your girlfriend that you supposedly like a lot and are close enough to that you have met her family including her grandparents because a little old lady had a slip of the tongue?
I had to check the country flag, thinking this was some country where the culture is so strict that perhaps it is a punishable by death offense to mis-speak a name. Imagine my shock and horror at seeing you are a young man in the USA and over reacting to beat the band.
Are you so insecure with your self that you feel a slip of the tongue warrants cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Why are you HURT? What about this guy who is an EX has you feeling so inadequate that a simple slip of the tongue has you wanting to walk away totally?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): You are being over-sensitive. They are only meeting you for the first time and forgot your name. Big deal!!!
You're acting childish and you're blowing something totally innocent out of proportion. It was just a slip. They welcomed you with dinner and hospitality. This is what they receive in return? Contempt over something so harmless?
If you want them to really like you, behave as an adult and control your temper. They deserve your respect in their home. They no doubt noticed your over-reaction. You should be concerned about their final impression of you.
You said you wear your heart on your sleeve? I think you are being petty, and you can be a little rude.
You owe your girlfriend and her parents an apology. I wouldn't blame them if they wonder if you're right for their daughter.
All you had to do was smile, and give your correct name.
Well if the slip was intentional, perhaps it's because they noticed the heart on your sleeve next to the chip on your shoulder.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 April 2013):
 You're going to break up with your girlfriend because her grandmother had a slip of the tongue? Really?
You must be feeling very on edge in the relationship if this is enough to send you spiraling into anger and blaming your girlfriend for her grandmother's possible dementia.
Is the rest of the relationship filled with drama and anxiety or was this a one-off situation?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): whooo there OP your over reacting! These Grandparents are not as young and "with it" as us youngsters!
My granddad calls me Cindy. Nothing particularly wrong with this except my name is Mark and im a man. He also asks if im live in a particular road which hasn't existed since about 1935!
Old people get confused. My other granddad confuses my dad with his brother name wise and its sometimes funny, often frustrating, but part of getting old.
Im sure it was simply the case of the grandparent getting muddled up as old people do!
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