A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I will try to make this brief but there's a lot of history ..I have an ex boyfriend who I started dating about 10 years ago the first year or two were rocky...then had some really good times for about four years. The happiest times of my life where during this time...I have always fought with insecurity and it usually wins...he lost his job and took one that meant he would travel almost all the time..at first i agreed I thought the space would be good for us,because without his job he felt lost and started partying and lying to me about it we were fighting alot..I ran into an old crush and one thing led to another...Within weeks I broke it off with my boyfriend... I broke his heart...a few months later got my heart broken by my old crush who turned out to be an abusive pig...some would say karma and i will..So my ex and i started seeing each other when he was in town..I wanted him back for good but he wouldnt budge I tried and tried to tell him how much i needed him but the damage was done...so I told heim i needed space and moved on to a new man who seemed safe...not really my type but he was a great friend. There was not a lot of passion but i thought it would grow...Soon there were serious communication issues and i became extreamly depressed,,and was secretly longing for a love like the one i threw away so long ago 2 and 1/2 years of this...Well we recently broke up...i talked to my ex...we spent the night together and It was amazing I know he is the only man who really knows the real me and loves me...I was so happy just to lay in his arms...I never stopped loving him and I told him. he said he wasnt ready to go there but that he loved me too...and that real love was hard to find...in the morning he seemed rushed but before we parted he said he would love to see me again but wanted me to find happiness and a good man who would treat me right...I was crushed...I drove by his house knowing he was still ion town...there was a car parked close by with some girly personalized liscence plate...I thought he pushed me away to be with her...I deserve this but it hurts...FDor the next few days I txted him and said how much i loved him and would always be there when he came home..about 7 days later I couldnt take it anymore...I called and said look I love you so much it is killing me to think of you with another girl and then stay the night loving you...I cant do it...just be my friend and then maybe i will get over you but can at least talk with you because i love you as a person and need you in my life...he seemed to have a change of heart he confided he loved me too...but has a new girlfriend he told her didn't think he could really love because he never got over me...he said he felt bad because he knows she is trying and he is trying too but that he felt he needed to think about his happiness and it just wasnt the same with here ..he could see her for like 3 days and wasnt really happy but one night with me would make him happy for a month...he said he wanted to tie up loose ends end it right with her....and that he isnt ready to leave his traveling job but to give him like a year and then we could be together all the time... he said he needs time that i hurt him more than i will ever know and I had better not do it again and I told him i would do anything to have him back including be patient which he knows is so hard for me that i would not be with anyone else and would wait to see him every few weeks ... but could he please txt me once every day and let me know i was in his thoughts until he felt he was ready to talk on the phone more and stuff and i would wait 2,3 4 years of him traveling if If i knew he was really coming home to me...because it would be hard feeling forgotten...he has been its been about a week he has txted me butI am scared what if he decides she is right for him after all...I love him so much,every thing about him...I am so mad at myself for being so weak so selfish so stupid before....Could he really still love me enough to break it off with her and give me another chance ???...I want to believe it like god meant for us to be together but has tested us me especially me and I have failed everyone involved... I want to be with him forever I want to believe hes coming home.So my question is do you think we could really be meant for each other..We both admit no body has made either one of us feel the way we feel together and we have both been pretty much separate dating others ect for the last five years but still nothing compares to each other...I would not let him down again ??? Do you think I have a chance ??? i am praying everyday for him for me for us and for forgiveness...Do you think he can forgive me ??
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broke up, crush, depressed, I love you, lost his job, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (11 May 2009):
 As hard as it may be. I think you need to learn
To let go. You are only coming to him
After the fact things didn't work out with other
People. I hard to tell you but you are being selfish
And manipulative. Don't take if wrong.. Now you
Want him back and you are doing what it takes
To get him back. Of course he's confuse, there
Will always be love there because you have history
But you have to let him go. If you truly love him
Like you say you do, let him go , and if he truly loves you too
He will find his way back to your heart and it will be meant
To be. Let him be the one to choose.. And if he doesn't choose
You and want to be with others than consider this another
Learning lesson in life.
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