A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hiI have been seeing a man for around 18months. We are both in our 40'sI supported him last year when he was made redundant by letting him live with me, until he found a place to rent and a job. He now has a managers job.I have never met any of his family, but he has told me things about why he doesn't keep in touch.Even the first few months he had a tendancy to get a bit down and moody.Recently, one of his ex's has been ringing my phone, but wont talk to me and wants to know where he works.She has his email address and contact details.I told him about this and asked if she was wanting money from him as he has a son to her. But he said no and if she does she has his contact details.Then he suggested we go away for a short break and egged me on to book the flights, hotel, carparking.....I did this, only for him to ring me the next evening to say he thought we should cancel and he feels really depressed and thinks he shouldn't see me any more and it will upset me.This has upset me alot. We have now lost £200 on the flight. I spent alot of time planning the trip. He must have had a feeling he didn't want to go before I booked - I didn't rush the booking and he kept telling me to hurry and book the flight.He says he will be intouch but he needs to get of the dpression but wont go to the doctors.I sort of think we are over as he did say that - but says he loves me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): I got with this guy Coleman iv known for about 6 years but I was always to young to hook up with him. I'm 18 now And we ran into each other because he used to got to school with ke fiancé albert the one I have a bby with. Me Nd lived together and Coleman came over ebryday and I always felt something was there. Blah blah blah me ne albert split upme and colander hooked up three mnths later off and on he loves me wants to be with me after we caught but his bby mama keeps running bck to him and fulling his head with bullshit and making him leave me and hurt me to make us break up an then she ends up leaving him and he always runns bck. What should I do honestly. I'm deep in love he makes me very happy and when were together evrything feels right but then she comes in and drills him bck what do I do. Please send advice:,(
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): I am the writer of the postHe did give me the money to pay for the hotel and has told me not to worry about giving him it back.I recently had a major operation and he did help look after me and take me to and back from hospital which was 200 miles away.I was also on notice of redundancy at the time and had to look for a new job once recovered - and now have one which i start at the end of Feb so it is and has been very stressful. I was looking forward to a break and thought he was too as he loves italy...I have spent this morning cancelling the hotel and parking but can't the flight.He has texted me asking how i am and that he misses me and that he may go to the doctors next week.In 2007 My last LTR messed me around once he found someone else who he wanted to move into our joint home and bullied me and did me out of alot of money.......i was also on notice of redundancy then so this is like deja vous
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 January 2010):
 Grrr it makes me so angry when I see women (or men in some cases) allowing themselves to be used as doormats beccause the 'LOVE' word is thrashed about. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SO DESPERATE??? that you continue to allow him play games with you. He sounds like a selfish lying no good a**hole who simply cannot get his act together and doesn't know what he wants.
WHY ARE YOU STANDING FOR THIS??? So you might maybe eventually be loved by him???...It isn't love I can tell you. His actions say he doesn't love you. Nobody who seriously loved anybody would let them spend money on a holiday and then back out. It shows total disreguard and disrespect.
Why is he telling you he loves you...simply to keep you on the hook. Your a place for him to lay his head, unload his troubles and perhaps use for sex. PEOPLE REALLY DO USE OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS WAY WITH NO FEELING AT ALL!!!!
His depression can only be helped by a doctor and if he is refusing to go, then I doubt he really is suffering from depression at all. Feeling sorry for himself IS NOT depression. It all sounds like an excuse to push you away from him when he feels like it.
Please please please get him out of your life. I know you feel your giving up on love, we all have needs and are sometimes blinded to what is really going on.
Get away from him and focus on yourself, build your confidence up, spend money on yourself (Yes shoes are a brilliant start)think about the kind of relationship you would REALLY love to have...and work towards meeting other people.
If he calls or comes around with his 'I LOVE YOU' drivel...tell him that your not an idiot, you know it's a load of old c**p and then tell him to P*** off!!!!
Then come back here in six months time and tell us how relieved you got away from him and how happy you are.
Sorry for the tough talk...but everything in me wants to make you see you life could be so much better than this.
With lots of love
Aunty Em xxx
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A
female
reader, kaytie-babey +, writes (22 January 2010):
 I think that he is trying to wrap you around his little finger with mind games.
And these mind games are working with you, he tells you he loves you, then pushes you away - this is the elastic band technique.
The plan is supposed to be that you fling back and force him to see you again.
But this man honestly doesn't seem worth the begging.
Go out and buy some new shoes, they'd suit you better! lol :)
I hope this helps you out. x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 January 2010):
He says he loves you, but his actions say differently. Always measure a man by his actions.
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