A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Let's imagine you're in a LDR. This is your 10+ time flying to meet your boyfriend. Beginning with the previous visit, due to his car not being drivable, he asks you to get a rental at the airport. During the previous visit (which was 3 months ago) he met you at the airport to go pick up the rental with you. However, for this current visit, he asks you to pick up the rental at the airport by yourself and drive yourself back to the airport to take your flight to return home. He can't rent a car because he doesn't have a credit card and has bad credit. He says he will pay you back for the rental but never does.How do you feel about that? Is it acceptable? I understand the first time needing a rental because his car broke down suddenly, but it's been 3 months.. Should he not make an effort to get a car even if it's only for the duration of my stay?Are my expectations too high or am I an unflexible complaining bitch?
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 February 2016):
 If you make a huge effort for him when he visits you, then I can see why you would want the same back. It is important to you, but maybe he doesn't realize this. If he can afford expensive items then off course he can afford to spend money on you both. This is a conversation that you need to have with him, bottling it up won't do you any favors, you need to tell him that you want him to make the same efforts that you do. Is he looking for work? Is he making an effort? If he is not a distance away from you because of work, then why are you both living so far apart? Have use made plans to live together? To be together?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe doesn't have a car, hence does not have a job. I'm paying for my airfare, hotel, and car rental. Money is not an issue for me, but I think he should take on some of the costs since he clearly has money to buy clothes and a $400 pair of shoes. I should not bear the all the costs just because I can.
Also, I feel that he had plenty of time to borrow or figure out a way to provide transportation for us during the week that I'm visiting. When he visits me, I handle trip planning, transportation, and accomodations if needed. I would never trouble him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (2 February 2016):
 If your boyfriend's car is not going it and he cant afford to get it fixed it makes sense for one of you to hire a car.
Depending on distance, and circumstances it may also make sense for you to make your own way from the airport to where ever it is you are staying ...... however, I do have some questions:
Has your relationship always been long distance, and how long have you been together. If you have paid to visit him more than 10 times, how many times has he paid to visit you?
Where do you stay when you visit, what sort of financial outlay is there for you to be visiting him?
Have you and he discussed how long the relationship will be long distance, and what future plans do you have to live closer to each other .... what time frame do you have?
what is your boyfriend doing to correct his bad credit rating?
All are valid questions, if you are the only way paying or travelling it might be a good idea to sit down and consider if you are getting value for money.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 February 2016):
 He isn't asking to keep the rental and you paying it is he?
He is just expecting YOU to have wheels while there, because he doesn't.
Is he working? How much is the cost of the repairs?
Second time I visited my BF (now husband) I rented a car because his had broken down and he really couldn't afford the repairs. I got a great deal on the rental and really didn't see it as a big deal. When he visited me, we used my car.
Can you afford it? Who is paying for the food, gas etc. while you are there?
It think it KIND of makes sense that IF you rent a car there is no need for him to make it to the Airport to pick up/drop off. Specially if it's a good distance.
Are you ALWAYS the one to fly down to him? Are you ALWAYS paying for the plane ticket?
If you can't afford it, why not cancel the visit till his care is fixed or you two have sorted out a compromise you can both agree on?
I DO think you sound a tad unflexable, from what you describe.
...............................
|
