A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I've been busy at work (working 2 weeks straight without a break) and haven't seen my boyfriend for 2 weeks. When I finally get to see him, I felt really strange. I felt my boyfriend is very distant all of a sudden. Felt that I don't know how to hug him or kiss him. I even felt scare when he touched me.On the night we finally get to see eachother, we cuddled together in the dark. When he started showing me he wants to get intimate, I got really defensive trying to protect myself. We've been together for 2 years and it's not like we've not be intimate before. The only reason I could think of is maybe I am scare it's going to hurt since we haven't had sex for 2 weeks. (It happened before.) We had sex, and it does hurt.Am I just too stressed? or I don't love my boyfriend anymore? or I don't want my boyfriend to get intimate with me becasue I'm scare it'll hurt?
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male
reader, PM +, writes (4 November 2007):
 It's incredibly easy for two people to lose the connection that forms a relationship, especially for the woman. A man is usually connected to the woman on an instinctual or somewhat logical basis while the woman is often connected through emotional states. The problem is that thoughts can endure for a while, but emotions are fairly fleeting. If you factor into that a woman's biological need to feel the assurance of her partner's presence you get the situation you're describing.The 2 weeks off caused you to lose some of the connection you had with your bf. What your bf should have done was assured you and reminded you of why you two are together but since he didn't do that, the ambivalent feelings you had just increased to the point of fear. If your bf knows what it means to be in a relationship, he'll do the things that first attracted you to him and re-spark your relationship.As for the sex hurting, the problem really is with your bf. He really should be more attentive and make sure you're enjoying yourself because that's what sex is about. I find sex to be an awesome way to de-stress since it gets all good chemicals and your blood flowing.
A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 im not sure but i think it might be a bit of both...relaxing may be the answer to your problems. leave work at work and relax around your boyfriend and it probably will hurt if your stressed out.. i dont think its the boyfriends fault you are probably overworked by the sounds of it...he should understand
good luck
x
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