A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Me and this guy were just hanging out and we start making out he tells me if I’ve ever had sex and I say no so he says he’s just going to put the tip in he try’s and I told him to stop he tries again and it hurt even more so I said no he said he got a little less than the tip in no bleeding or anything am I still a virgin ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2020): Don’t hang out alone with this boy again until you are both older and know what you are doing. Sex has repercussions - you could catch an STI, or get pregnant. Wait until you are in a stable, trusting and loving relationship.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 May 2020):
 ..But you did have sex, and no, you are not a virgin anymore. Neither from a technical point of view nor from a wider, more psychological perspective.
Anon male of may 6th could not be wronger , and more misinformed, if he tried hard . That 99 % of women bleed when being deflored is an old wives tale which has been debunked since a long time- just check with any OB/GYN, with any nurse, with any medical encyclopedia.
There are plenty of " furst times " which happen without any bleeding.
As for putting in just the tip… I don't know why so many people have this notion that the hymen is this thing hidden far away , down, down there, in the mysterious depth of your female organ… It's not like that. The hymen is a membrane ( (a small, thin piece of flesh) which covers your vaginal opening, just right after the " entrance " so to speak. As you can imagine, it does not take going very far to tear it / stretch it. It's not a solid wall of skin but it has openings , in different shapes but generally slit-like, and the pain / discomfort you felt came from these openings being stretched and the membrane fragmented , ( beside , probably, from tensing up your muscles and / or insufficient lubrication ).
Chances are that your hymen was broken. There are also a few very elastic hymens, which just yield and then go back to their original shape without actually breaking ( and without bleeding..) In this case too, though, I would not call you a virgin , even if you , technically speaking, could be one. YOu did have vaginal ( penis-in -vagina ) intercourse, - if it's just a bit of penis, or half -length, or all of it- I can't see what 's the difference, it's always penis in vagina action.
I can't but join the other Dear Cupiders in encouraging you to get educated about your sexual and reproductive health, and about contracception if you decide to be sexually active. And most of all to OWN your choices, defend them and assert them. Meaning : if you don't want to have intwercourse, do not put yourself in situations / places where you do not have total control / total agency , and /or it's likely that " one thing leads to another " while you may feel too confused / flustered / timid to assert yourself.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 May 2020):
 He sexually assaulted you. You have no blame in that. You do need to avoid being alone with boys when you are not ready to have sex, but that does NOT mean you asked for or allowed him to assault you. He may not even realise he assaulted you, but he needs to learn that no means no.
You aren’t a virgin any more, no. If the penis goes into the vagina, even just a little, it’s sex. You could have caught a disease or got pregnant (though pregnancy is unlikely), so you need to see a doctor as soon as possible for tests.
Please, OP, don’t be alone with boys. You have to be confident enough to say no and leave, though that doesn’t make what he did okay.
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A
male
reader, Justryingtohelp +, writes (6 May 2020):
Really? That's your biggest worry? Not pregnancy? Not STD? Just whether you are still technically a virgin?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2020): Yes you are physically a virgin if no blood was seen because 99% of women bleed to some degree the first time. But having said that, you are not emotionally a virgin. You have already have had some sexual past if that means anything to you. I don't think you need pregnancy or STD tests as that is very unlikely to happen especially if the boy is as young and as inexperienced as you. No harm is done. Just learn your lesson and be more careful in the future.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (5 May 2020):
 So this guy isn't even your boyfriend, just "this guy"? What the hell were you doing "making out" with him? If you don't know how to say "no" and mean it, you really shouldn't be putting yourself in situations where some random guy can take advantage of you.
You were very lucky he (sort of) stopped. Some may not have done and you could have ended up getting raped and/or badly hurt. As I see it, he sexually assaulted you. You said "no" but he carried on trying. This is not a nice guy.
You need to (a) get a health check in case you have picked up anything unwanted from him in the way of a sexually transmitted disease and (b) take a pregnancy test. Just because he only put a bit of his penis inside you does not rule out the possibility of pregnancy, especially if he is of a similar age to you. Teenagers often have "hair trigger" reactions when it comes to ejaculating. Also sperm can be transferred into a woman's vagina without the penis even entering and without the man actually ejaculating. Get tested as quickly as possible and stay away from "this guy".
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (5 May 2020):
 Well technically, no, you are not. How much of the penis "goes in" is irrelevant. BUT on the other hand, you two didn't have "actual" sex either. So, you CAN call yourself a virgin if that is important to you.
Not everyone bleeds first time. So you can't go by that. At all.
If you don't want to have sex then PUT your panties back on! Say no to "the tip only" and while it is rare to get pregnant from pre-cum, you both seem young and clueless.
You really don't need or want a pregnancy at this age.
This buy is NOT respecting your no/stop which means YOU need to NOT be alone with him again.
You also need to be smarter, OP. Do yourself a favor and READ up on reproductive health. You seem woefully uninformed about what can happen and how things work.
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