A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am a mixed race girl and I do not have many real friends and treasure the few that I do. A couple of days ago my married friend celebrated her 40th birthday with a party at home. She is white and married to a black guy with two children.I have children and am also in a relationship but not living with the father and this couple know there are problems with us.Having arrived at the party, on two occasions my friends husband started flirting with me and admiring my body and dress. He kept saying "ohh if I was not married". It made me feel really uncomfortable and to make it worst, I do not fancy this guy one bit". I told him on both occasions to behalf and moved away quickly.Now each time this couple has a party, there is a women who always attends that I can not take too. She is also black and use to keep asking private questions about my relationship as she has met my partner a few times before. I did not understand why she get asking and it started to upset me. (I know she has kids for different men and her last partner never met his child so she was really hurt by men). As a result and with the intervention of someone she has stopped. She recently found out that I am now working as cabin crew for an airline. At the party she was really off with me. She never once came and spoke to me about my job or how I am or anything. A few times I tried to talk to herbut very briefly about general stuff.. These two issues are now causing me to wonder if I ever want to maintain friends with my friend as the husband is making me uncomfortable and the mutual women also.Another party is coming up with this couple and I am already thinking of not going. Eventually I will have no friends. Not sure how to handle these situations. I thought maybe next time to bring my partner along even though things are not brilliant between us.Any words of advice welcomed.
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female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 Is it possible you are over reacting? Is it possible that your friends husband was just trying to make you feel pretty/ good / nice becuase he knows you hare having problmes in your relationship? He stopped once you told him you were uncomfortable. Perhaps he was trying to build your confidence?
As for the other lady try and speak to her. Explain that you are still wanting to be friends you are just not very comfortable talkikng about such private things? Maybe she didn't know that you had a new job? Or maybe she is upset for another reason?
I would try and talk to her about it. As for your fiends husband I would just let that go. It was more than likly harmless flirtations.
Good luck
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