A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had a serious relationship that ended 4 years ago (we were together 4 years). I could have married him had we met when I was a bit older, I wasn't ready to settle down then. He was no doubt my first love but we have remained friends and both are happy with that.Since then I have had a few relationships, none lasting longer than 6 months. I want a relationship that is going to last though, and with someone who I feel totally right about.My family and friends tell me I'm too fussy, that I'm leaving it very late in life to find someone/get married/have children etc. I'm 27.My last boyfriend was very wealthy, successful, caring, but I had very little physical attraction for him, so I ended it. Everyone told me I was foolish, I could have been "set for life". But I couldn't bear going to bed with him, I felt he was more like a brother or friend.The ex before that, I lived with for a while. He thought nothing of spending our month's rent on a night out drinking, was completely reckless with money and irrespnsible, emotionally unavailable and I simply couldn't trust him.I enjoy being single, I want to wait for the right person. I know no one is perfect, I just want someone who I really click with and am physically attracted to, but am I really being too fussy? Am I leaving it too late?
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male
reader, redsox29  +, writes (30 January 2010):
Good for you to staying true to yourself and waiting till you find something that you know is right. People who are getting married when they are in their early 20's don't really have as much of a sense of who they are. There would be a lot less divorce if people were smarter and knew themselves and what they want.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): You are still super young, wait till the "right" man comes along. Trust me it is so worth it. Somewhere he is out there, don't settle for second best, one of THE most important decisions you will make so tread carefully and good for you for wanting a perfect match for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): Nowadays women are getting married later and later- they're focusing on their career, college education, etc. The median age to get married has risen to 26 years old. Also, those getting married in their 30's have a lower divorce rate than those who get married at a young age. If you "settle" for a guy, you will be setting yourself up to be miserable. You're still young and should be in no rush. When the time is right, you'll find your prince. So when you're happily married and everyone around you who got married young is getting a divorce, you'll be happy you waited for the right one.
Article on women waiting to get married:
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/item_eXfChppwel9o9qJgOVD0BN;jsessionid=4B6653C30DF93D14EFB881F2FCAF8560
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (30 January 2010):
 Yes just wait for the right guy, but don't wait forever! although For me 20 to 30 was a good way to have fun and do all things I wanted to do that was both bad and good. 27 is a prime time in terms of your youth, physical appeal to the opposite sex to find the right one. After I turned 30 I take life a little more seriously, ie investments, relationships, retirement planning, career etc. It's really up to you when, where and how you want to settle some people choose to never settle in a relationship. Just go with the flow let it come to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): I don't think you're too late, really. There's no one who can tell you you won't find someone amazing next weak and marry him in 6 months, I mean the world is unpredictable and anything can happen. And who settles down just to settle down? I mean come on, there's gotta be a want to settle down, and not just do it because everyone else thinks you should. You'll only end up unhappy if you marry out of plight than your own desire.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (29 January 2010):
 Your post reminds me of an excerpt from "The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love" that I read last month, and I think it pretty much sums up why no one should settle for less in ANY area of their lives. Especially when it comes to love:
"...Anyway, a stranger came to their door one day. He was singularly unattractive- very little hair covering his hideous, sore-wracked skin, just generally ratty and nasty looking. But as is often said of the unbeautiful of the world, he had a great personality. He came to be known as "Funkdog," because he was, in fact, a dog, and he was really funky. He came around regularly, and the boys would feed him and talk to him, but no one could quite bring themselves to actually touch him. And so they started this thing of petting Funkdog with a small stick. He would come and sit at a respectful distance, I guess knowing himself to be unclean, and eagerly await being petted and scratched with his stick. That image always just made me want to bawl, and now I think I know why.
I think Funkdog being petted with his stick is a perfect metaphor for what can happen to any of us in this life if we don't pay attention. In any area of our lives, things can go from great, to not so hot, to downright unspeakable, and do it so gradually that we keep downshifting our expectations to correspond with our current situation. We settle for less and less and tell ourselves, "It's not so bad" until finally one day we wake up and we are in effect, hairless and scabby, just hoping to get petted with a stick for a little while. You can forget what it used to feel like to feel good about life; feeling rotten - or just a low-grade funk - seems normal and therefore acceptable. I just don't believe that God intended for any of his creatures to be petted with sticks. If some area of your life sucks - do something else. Life is too short -- and too long -- to spend it being miserable. Life may indeed be short, but it is, for a fact, wide. It's high time we started settling for more."
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 January 2010):
You're making a better decision to wait until you find the right guy. Women are leaving it longer, and they're fine. No one is perfect and you must remember that. But you'll find a good guy if you look for one. Better to wait than not and settle with the wrong guy.
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