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Am I being to particular...this guy is perfect but he smokes.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've met the most fantastic fella: handsome, kind, intelligent and funny. I'd love to nave sex with him-but he smokes. Am I being too particular?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008):

If it bothers you so much, tell him.

Just make it a rule to smoke outside the house, as it should be anyway.

I have nothing against smokers at all. I don't smoke myself, but I will express that I've been curious. Just not curious enough to suffocate myself and become addicted.

But even I think woman looks sexy smoking one of those 40's style stick pipe things they have the ciggie on the end of. Quite classy.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008):

I think your being stupid.

He sounds like a really sweet guy the way you have described him. but seriously you can ignore him smoking.

My boyfriend and i have been together for ages and all he does is smoke, he smokes...cigarettes and weed.

I told him to smoke outside and i brought him a can of linx. i dont really mind him smoking anymore its who he is...i have gotten used to it. which i think you should do to. If you really love this guy then you can ignore the fact that he is a smoker.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (24 March 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntA bit yeah, but smoking is a disgusting habbit. Lets face, tongueing an ash-tray ain't everybodies cup of tea.

But if that is his only flaw, yeah, you are being to picky. Buy him a pack of mints and ban him from smoking in the house. Smokers should be used to getting their fix outside in the rain by now.

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A female reader, hannah76 United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2008):

hannah76 agony auntHi,

From what I understand about smoking, it becomes more psychological than physical. So, if you shout at him or give him ultimatums it will not help at all. Try to gently talk to him about it. Remember, don't pick at him, he probably no more wants to do it than you do. If he smokes around you, I can understand the problem, so perhaps he could smoke when not in your space and make sure he is fresh when he is around you. Smoking can be stopped, I know! But no amount of bad comments will stop the smoker. They have to be treated without bias or animosity when talking about their pursuit. Learn to understand the reasons he smokes and then help to stop him. (that's if you think he's worth it!) Good luck! H.

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2008):

TELLULAH agony auntIf you like him that much, then tell him that smoking offends you. After all if you can get him to stop, you will be doing him a massive favour. Then maybe you might get to know if he smokes in bed as well. (not fags) If you get my drift.

XX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

no ur not being picky. if u have chose to live healthier by not smoking don't give in. 2nd hand smoke causes cancer too..........not to mention the lingering odor.

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