A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Anytime I feel bad or stressed, I go out and get new clothes. And I have felt bad a lot of times last year and just had my first bad feeling today. So out I am to get new clothes. I can't help it. Does this make me a shopaholic. I am currently unemployed and barely making ends meet but the urge. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2016): Please be aware of bipolar disorder it can be hard for others to see if you are hiding guilt from your loved ones
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (14 January 2016):
 It may make you prone to retail therapy when in truth you may need to address a few issues.
I agree getting a new job should be a major focus. But if you just use the extra income to purchase more clothing then you will end up on a downward spiral.
Thus besides job hunting I shall suggest some other strategies. ible anxiety issues. Right now buying something new gives you a temporary fix but the time will come when this will not be enough.
2. Choose to add a little more exercise than you do now. Because some form of exercise is beneficial. Your current level of shopping, where you feel better, temporarily, may be masking anxiety and depression that is treatable.
Exercise bands are great to use at home.
Just a few walks per week or a regular one hour swim in a heated undercover pool (or outdoor facility when weather is suitable) will do wonders for your mood
Endorphins released subsequent to exercise will help make you feel better.
Improving your outlook with exercise
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression-and-exercise/art-20046495 .
For a price: You could also offer a dog-walking service to your neighbourhood. Perhaps one dog at a time. Maybe a weekend service - gets you walking and mixing with others.
set a price and a walk schedule and see who is happy to allow you to walk their dog.
3. Review all the clothing you already have. There are 365 days in year to wear clothing. Duplicates can clog up your wardrobe.
Aim to cull anything you have not worn for 2 years. Aim to cull where you have too many duplicates.
Maybe even get some friends to do the same and borrow some mobile hangers so that you can stage a weekend sale of your excess clothing. Label it all with the size and decide on a reasonable price per item. You can always discount on day two
4. put any profit from the sale of your excess clothing into paying off debt.
5. One of the "fixes" you get from shopping is no doubt the special feeling you get from being served and being appreciated and thanked by the sales person with good selling skills.
You can attract those good feelings by joining a service organisation in your community and becoming part of community projects. There you can achieve good things and experience the good feeling of doing something that is important to the community.
6.Any volunteering is good for your job resume. It can demonstrate aptitude for team work, organisation skills and interacting with people from different backgrounds and lifestyles which happens in a work place.
7. I love the animal shelter volunteering suggestion as animals give without judgement. It is very rewarding
8. Ever thought of learning to sew? Or making some form of hand crafted item?
You could start off with easy summer children's cloth hats and sell them on etsy.com. Because bringing in an extra income will bring in extra money and use up time you previously used to shop
When you are more confident you will tend to attract success.
My Best wishes to you
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 January 2016):
 I would call you a "shopaholic" or maybe the term compulsive spender.
And it's something you need to deal with. You can't shop yourself better. The whole buying new shiny things or clothes will only make you feel good in the moment but give you even more anxiety for having spend money on stuff you don't need, with money you don't have.
Let me give you an analogy from my country (not USA lol)
If you in winter time finds yourself cold in knee deep snow, peeing your pants to keep warm is NOT a smart way to go. You will be warm for all of a few seconds but SO much colder after that...
THAT is what shopping is. Peeing your pants in the frozen outdoors. For a second or two you are warm and fuzzy and then reality sets in a you are even colder (worse off) than you were before shopping!
This page has some good info for you and some decent links:
http://www.indiana.edu/~engs/hints/shop.html
If you are not working, how about you go volunteer on week-ends at an animal shelter? I swear it will give you the warm and fuzzy (if you like animals) and it will ALSO stop you for going shopping.
And then PUT some of that energy into looking for work. Having a job might also help you feel better about yourself and the fact that you CAN take care of yourself.
Also MAKE a budget and STICK to it. 100% which means... for now with little funds, there IS no money for clothes shopping.
I know how you feel. I LOVE shopping too. Online or in stores, doesn't matter. BUT I don't HAVE the money to spend, so I don't.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 January 2016):
 IF you are shopping to soothe yourself and can't afford it and can't stop then yes you would be a "shopaholic"
but that's just a term...
you are using it as a very poor substituent for finding appropriate coping skills.
I have a friend who has money but is always broke because she buys clothes all the time even when it's too small or not her color "I can sleep in it, it's only 3 dollars"
Not a good way to go.
so while you may or may not be a shopaholic that's not really a good term to describe someone who is making the choice to go out and spend money they don't have to fix feelings that shopping won't fix.
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A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (13 January 2016):
Hey as a mental health nurse your not a shopaholic but on the way to having an " addiction"Lots of people use shopping as an emotional crutch to a certain situation — for instance, to boost your mood because they're feeling low or a stressful day. So before you whip out your credit card, or your purse ask yourself: How am I feeling? You know the answer ..you feel low and shopping helps boost you to feel better about yourself .It's okay to shop .. but if your struggling and you have enough clothing the now then purchasing more isn't a needful thing .Concentrate on getting that job .. even if it's one that will do for now .. people in work .. find it easier to gain further employment than those who are unemployed .. no shame in being unemployed though .. but having a job means you will be able to buy clothing .. not that you should if your mood is low but when you need or are going out etc ..Get an elastic band and everyone you feel low and want clothes .. give it a ping and remind yourself that no you need that money for other things .. Leave posted notes on your mirror saying I'm beautiful I don't need new clothes to make me feel good !! And read that every day and when you do your face ..You have a good awareness and treacle that the biggest part so kudos to you .. now start the journey of becoming in control of your urges and not let then control you .
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