A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I\'m always making the effort ringing and chasing my long distance boyfriend who has been verbally abusive to me at times and doesn't make the effort anymore. I'm finding it difficult to let go as he sends texts and rings and I reply/go running to him 50 miles from home but he never comes to see me. I'm stuck in an addictive cycle and whatever I say he never takes the blame for anything, makes promises to do nice things with me, then when I see him, says he doesn't have time or has work to do. Other times, his phone is off and I have suspected him of seeing another woman (this happened last time)although he accuses me of being psychotic and deluded. I feel the only way to truly end it all is to cut contact but I'm thinking he deserves an explanation, although I have explained time and time again why I am not happy.I have a new phone and number now. My question is: do I give my boyfriend the number and explain why I am breaking up or am I being a bad person by just cutting contact without telling him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. To be honest, when I said not tell him, I meant not even telling him it's over, just cut contact. I guess I'm being a coward but does it really matter when he has treated me like crap for the last 8/9 months and doesn't even seem to care or think he's in the wrong? I guess I don't like confrontation and don't want to wait to hear what he says in response. I did ignore him for over a day a few days ago and he left a voicemail message saying 'this is crap, it's like going out with a kid', but then I made the mistake of turning the phone back on, listening to the message and ringing him back. If I cancelled my old number I wouldn't have to hear his voice again - I know you may think it doesn't make sense but that's how I feel.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 April 2010):
I think you're right to cut contact. It has to end here, so end it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 If you give him your new phone number, you are NOT cutting contacts.
No,you are not a bad person if you omit explaining him what you have already explained him time and time again. and no, he does not deserve any further explanation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): No your not being a bad person! If he's not making any effort at all and you've explained this to him and he still has'nt changed then its time to move on. If it was me then i would just cut off all contact with him you never know, if you do stop texting him then he might come running back to you!
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