A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello to all,When I went to china recently for a training course, I met a guy. I thought that our relationship would be only brief but he told me that he wants me to know that it was not only about getting some fun for him but he has feelings for me. So, we remained in contact. He started making plans to come to visit me. The ticket was very costly ($1900). So, I decided to give him a hand to pay the ticket. He promised me that he would return me the money in January as soon as he sells the shares that he has in the bank. So, he's presently in my country. Before he was coming, he told me of a contract about providing school uniforms that he has obtained to execute provided that he shows proof that he has a big sum of money in a secured bank account. The problem is that he does not have all the money. He told me that his only intention in executing the contract is to settle here in my country. In the end, he's asking me to take a big loan so that he can execute the contract. He told me that once part of the contract money is released, he would pay the loan so that I don't have any loan to pay. I really cannot take such a big loan. Even though he made it clear that nothing will change if ever i don't take the loan, I feel that he's counting on me to help him. As for the money I spent on the ticket, it seems that he has no intention to give me back the money as agreed as all he's thinking now is to come with the amount he supposedly needs to execute the contract. I find that he should not have even asked me to help him finacially as he know very well that i spent almost all my savings to help him be here with me.
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male
reader, Mig29  +, writes (5 November 2012):
Just to give you another point of view, i got in touch with an old girlfriend a while ago, it has been 23 years we had not spoken with her, there was a desire to meet, she did not have a job then so we decied to meet halfway and I paid for the ticket and hotel, (read separate rooms) met for a few days caught up and then she flew back and so did I.
I paid because i could and wanted to see her, i shall not ask for the money ever and there are no obligations just friends.
No contracts, no loans, what i am trying to say that, if some one has feelings they will never put you in such a position...
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 November 2012):
 You alreday posted about this on Nov. 2nd, we already told you it is a scam, it spells scam ,it yells scam. Two days later the situations has not changed, and I think in you heart you too already know that is he a scammer, and he'll stay around only until he thinks or hopes he can get money out of you. Otherwise, you would mot have even written to DC, because, really, where the problem would be if you thought the guy really,sincerely cares about you ?... He needs 20.000 , or 30.000 USD, you can't afford giving him this amount, you say Sorry I can't, and he says " it's ok my love, don't worry, obviously this won't change anything between us ".
I think that if you are so worried about getting this money for him, it's not just out of love and generousity, but maybe also because of the nagging feeling that , without the money, he won't stay around...
The ticket that you mention makes the whole thing really shady. I mean, come on, he wants to secure himself a contract for 270.000... and he can't even afford airfare ? then he's a gambler, not a businessman. And anyway,he should have not let you pay his ticket, he should have asked for a loan to HIS bank or HIS parents or HIS friends... Yeah, but if he had done that,.. now he would actualy have to be responsible for the loan, and actually give them back the 1900 dollars.Which, with you, is not doing and not going to do .
You know what, go ahead, if it makes you happy, ask for a loan and give him the money. When he's gone and vanished, and the money too, hopefully Dear Cupid will still be around and you can write us a post titled " My boyfriend scammed me out of a big amount of money ", and we'll try to assist you as we can. Forgive us in advance, though, if you get quite a few " I told you so ! "
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2012): "The ticket was very costly ($1900). So, I decided to give him a hand to pay the ticket. HE PROMISED ME that he would return me the money in January as soon as he sells the shares that he has in the bank."
You entered into a conditional verbal contract that is now unenforcable because the conditions are impossible for him to meet (as he has NO shares in the bank to sell), not that he was ever going to pay you back.
In simpler terms, you're already out $1900.
"HE TOLD ME of a contract about providing school uniforms that he has obtained to execute provided that he shows proof that he has a big sum of money in a secured bank account."
"HE TOLD ME that once part of the contract money is released, he would pay the loan so that I don't have any loan to pay."
If you don't lend him any money, then you don't have any outstanding loans to be repaid. And if what he SAYS isn't in writing, then he DIDN'T SAY it. And since he already "owes" you $1900 that you'll never see again, what makes you think he will ever pay back (to pull a random figure out of thin air) $20,000 or so?
"HE TOLD ME that his only intention in executing the contract is to settle here in my country."
His only intention in "executing the contract" is to relieve you of an additional (to pull a random figure out of thin air) $20,000 or so, on top of the $1900 he already owes you.
"Even though HE MADE IT CLEAR" that nothing will change if ever i don't take the loan . . ."
He's lying, everything will change if you don't take the loan, among first thing to chane is he suddenly won't be settling in your country.
"it seems that he has no intention to give me back the money as agreed as all he's thinking now is to come with the amount he supposedly needs to execute the contract."
Nothing will change, he won't repay the $1900 he already "owes" you and he'll keep asking for more.
"I find that he should not have even asked me to help him finacially as he know very well that i spent almost all my savings to help him be here with me."
I find that he asked you for much larger amount of money like (to pull a random figure out of thin air) $20,000 or so, exactly because you've already handed over $1900 that you're never going to see again, and he already knows that's almost all your savings, so why not up the ante ten times or so and stick you with a loan you can't possibly afford to pay back within any reasonable amount of time, before vanishing on the next plane back to whereever you can't afford to follow him.
Understand above is exercise in futility, as for reasons known only to herself OP did not choose to believe responses to previous post, and reposting same scenario with the exceptions not include current loan requested ($20,000) and including previous loan still outstanding ($1,900).
OP, I added CAPS to "HE PROMISED ME" and "HE TOLD ME" and "HE TOLD ME" and "HE TOLD ME" and "HE MADE IT CLEAR" for a reason, that being con artist has already bilked you out of $1900 and the reason he conned you out of "almost all my savings to help him be here with me" is so he can go back to wherever he came from $21,900 richer while you are stuck in your country $21,900 poorer, $20,000 of which you never had so you now owe to a financial institution charging interest by the month.
Your options: come to immediate realization that you're a sucker who has been conned out of $1,900 you previously had in the bank, or come to belated realization that you're a sucker who has been stuck with a $20,000 loan you'll be paying off for years with nothing to show for it.
I anxiously await your next post, be it in the next few days, next few months or next few years (and sadly I suspect it will be months or years, meaning you will let him talk you into "loaning" him money you can't afford to lend and he has no intention of paying back).
Let me guess: HE TOLD YOU he loved you. (Perennial Number One on Dear Cupid Top 100 Red Flags)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 November 2012):
 It IS SCREAMING Scam.
If he can't afford to contract that is on him, IF you give him money you can kiss them goodbye and him too.
Be smart, honey.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 November 2012):
 Please look closely at my mouth as I speak these words very clearly and distinctly:
This... is ..... a ..... SCAM!!!! Do .... not .... fall .... for .... this .... SCAM!!! Do .... not .... offer ..... even.... a... FARTHING.... to this scamming, scum-bag of a so-called human!!!!!!
Is that clear enough?????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): Oh hello again
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-man-im-dating-wants-to-borrow-2000000.html
Let me guess, the contract is in Chinese too so it's impossible to verify.
There's no question here really OP, you should have just posted in your other question.
This is a scam OP, don not give him anymore money. Make sure he has no more access to any of your valuables either and check out your local laws about settling loans and getting your money back.
Basically tell him you won't even consider another loan until he pays you back for the ticket.
What do your family and friends say about all this OP? Have they met him?
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A
female
reader, Katrin2324  +, writes (4 November 2012):
Hey,don't pay anymore for this guy, he's been using you... That's obvious. A man should pay for himself, not a woman.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 November 2012):
 This man is a`conman, scammer and a thief. Do not give him any more money, and as he is in your country speak to your police to see if you can recover the money he already has from you.
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (4 November 2012):
 Don't give him anything. Make it clear that he's not getting anything from you. And make sure he's not in a position to take anything when he disappears.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (4 November 2012):
 Hi
Don't part with another cent, this man is using you and he's a con man relying on your feelings for him.
I hope he isn't staying with you.If he is then it's time to ask him to leave. I don't think you will get your 1000 dollars back, so right it off and learn from this.He knew when you helped with his air fare that you wanted to see him badly.Time to be firm and look out for your own interests no matter what he says.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): at your age you should know that as soon a man asks for money that soon or at all unless it is something for the both of you then it is a red flag! end it now or youll be pennyless and heartbroken
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): This is quite a sad thing, I think he is clearly looking for your money.
What do you know about him? What about his family? In those cases bankers do a lot of research about the traditional attitude of a person towards money. If he treats you as a bank, the only way to go out of this for you is treating him as somebody asking for a loan.
Including being brutal and telling him, absolutely not.
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A
male
reader, tamperingtampaguy +, writes (4 November 2012):
Oh no. Why do women do this? Are you kidding? A real man would not ask for money. You should have seen this coming. Never give anyone money. It is a recipe for disaster. The best advice I can give you is to learn from this mistake and never do it again. There are good men that wont ask for a dime.
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