A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:All I wanted is for my boyfriend to move here to live with me because we live so far apart. However after researching into it there's just no way its going to happen. Then talking to him about it yesterday he confesses that he won't move away from his family for another one or two years! I've already waited a year for him, this was just to long. Finally I get it out of him that he'll probably have an arranged marraige in the future. All hope of this relationship seems to have been squashed, and only yesterday. I'm devastated and if its going to end i dont want to prolong it. But how can i do this? I still love him and want nothing more than to be with him but if it'll never happen how can i go see him? I was planning a long trip for next month but i don't know if i can bare it. If i go see him i'll fall more in love with him and it'll crush me to leave him again. What should i do? End it soon over the phone or go out there and get heartbroken again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): you need to walk away. or else you will end up hurting yourself so much more. im in a similar situation, and when there are 2 different cultures in a relationship it is very difficult. he has to understand you expectations of him. You cant help who you fall in love with i know this, but you can say wheter or not what they are offering you is enough. and by the sounds of it, it isnt in this case.
dont hurt yourself any more than you have to that is my advice. tell him how you feel and if he isnt willing to make any sacrafices then walk away for your own sake. if he truely loves you he will come after you i promise.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (12 June 2007):
 I think you have answered your own question yourself there. You know the relationship isnt going to work especially with an arranged marriage in the future.
It'll hurt like hell to walk away, and you may need time to heal but it'll be fairer on your emotions rather than going to see him and then having to tear yourself from him.
I'm not a believer in ending it over the phone, but thats because my ex from ages ago dumped me through a text. I wouldn't suggest you going to see him, but if you do it over the phone explain to him why you are doing it that way...... because to come and see him to end it with him would have been heartbreaking. Make sure if you go to end it face to face you are strong enough to go through with it.
Good luck!
xxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): I believe you know the answer to this question, but the answer is just to painful for you to accept. You know you can't visit him. You know this is over and you know the best thing for you is to just walk away. Start caring for yourself and walk away from this relationship before you torture yourself anymore.Its takes courgage. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): You should pat yourself on the back for your ability to love another dispite the difficulties a commitment with that person would cause you. You should then sit down, write down all the things you want in your mate, fill your life with everything that you love, remain open and vulnerable and I swear you will find him!
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