A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so here's my dilemma, bear with me, it's a little lengthy. So, a few years back, I had this friend i used to hang out with everyday. We (me and my 2 other friends we always hung out with at the time) always had a hunch he was gay, so when he came out a couple years ago, it was no surprise. Unfortunately, somehoe we all lost touch and didn't speak for a few years, but recently, I started seeing him around school more often, got to talking with him, and we started hanging out again. You can probably guess where this is going; I started crushing on him. At first, things were cool, we hung out everyday, talked alot, he seemed interested (even said to me and to his friends that he really liked me). Suddenly he starts to drift away; become distant. And moreso, and moreso, to the point where we aren't even speaking anymore. He stops answering my text messages, my facebook messages, and when he does, he doesn't have much to say. After about 2 months of torture, I reach my breaking point and (after finally managing to get a hold of him for a few minutes) tell him (as best I could via text, it was like 7 pages long lmao) what he's been putting me through.All i get from him is "oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize that I did that to you..". Needless to say, after all that time, a simple sorry is not gonna cut it, but, I tried to forgive and forget and accepted the apology. So then he asks "so.. do you have feelings for me or...?" to which I reply "well yeah...". And all he says is "oh, sorry i hurt them lol" And expects things to be a-okay, and asks to hang out the next day. So, when i continue with my snarky replies, he asks "What, are you mad or something?". And so I say "yeah, you put me through hell, it's gonn take time, blahblahblah" and HE gets irritated with ME! As if he can't comprehend what he did wrong. Anyways, I waited for an hour the next day before i realized he wasn't showing up. Later, i find out that he was threatened and had to leave school and has since transferred. He still has made no attempts to be in touch with me, not even to say "hi" or to even try and maintain some semblance of a friendship with me. So, after all that, my question is, where to go from here? I've tried simply forgetting about him, but when you have many, many mutual friends who are still on good terms with him and when he used to be one of your best friends, it's not easy. In fact, it's damn near impossible. I've debated about trying to talk to him, but I'm afraid. Afraid I'll say something terrible that I'll regret, afraid he won't even care or have anything to say, afraid he won't even answer(honestly, I'm almost certain he won't even answer). The whole situation is driving me insane!! What should I do?
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female
reader, supermum  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 Unfortunately, there is only one thing you can do.... move on. He has made it as clear as he can without being rude that he is not interested in you, which happens sometimes unfortunately. You may reach a point where you can be friends again, but for now I would back off. If he is not making the effort to contact you, then leave him be. Carry on with your life the best you can...
He has treated you badly, and that is a hard thing to deal with.. but you can and will move on from it, you just need a bit of 'you' time.
Good luck!
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