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After six weeks I asked him the status of our relationship and he backed off!

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 April 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *achakaRoni writes:

I asked this guy the status of our relationship- we've been seeing each other for 6 weeks. He gave me an honest answer that he has too much work atm resulting in lack of free time, his ex is still at the back of his mind and he has family issues so he isnt ready to discuss it yet. Even though he started to call me 'baby' and said he missed me when i woz away on holiday. Since this conversation- he has backed off a bit but still txts just not as much. Have i scared him off? Does he not like me anymore?

View related questions: his ex, on holiday

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A male reader, bronzed adonis United Kingdom +, writes (1 April 2012):

bronzed adonis agony auntI wouldnt get your hopes up with this guy really. If you want a real relationship with potential, you may be better looking elsewhere.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (1 April 2012):

AuntyEm agony aunt

You posted before that this guy asked for an open relationship and you recieved several replies which I am not sure if you have I have provided the link.

This guy doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. He has stated several HUGE reasons and to top it all off has offered a 'friends with benefits' arrangement so he can basically have sex with you and then keep dissapearing.

Is this enough for you?

Is this what you want?

^ weeks is nothing. He has decided what he wants from you and it isn't love. You are selling yourself short and wasting your time if you think he's suddenly going to be wanting a full on relationship. because if that were the case, he'd be telling you that and dating you properly. He would not be giving you signals that he isn't into you.

If you are happy with a FWB arrangement where he can use you and come and go with no commitment then that is up to you, but truly it's going to end in tears and you risk getting damaged and hurt.

Read what the other aunts wrote on the last post because they are trying to stop you from making a BIG mistake.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (1 April 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntSix weeks, with a holiday in there somewhere, seems a bit too soon to be asking the big "what's our status" question.

He may be pulling back because of the question, or your asking this may have made him realise he still has some issues to deal with from his previous relationship, or that he needs to focus on the family issues.

You may need to give him some breathing space, perhaps instead of dates ask him over to watch a movie or share a pizza and keep it low key for now.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2012):

Sounds like he is scared to be in a relationship again. How long did he and his ex broke up?

From my experience, when i guy tells you he has too much on, refers to an ex, he doesn't want to be in a relationship. That might be with you or just in general.

I would just give him some time and space. Men dont like to feel pressured.

But also, dont put all your hopes into this either. It is very normal to start questioning where it is going after 6 weeks.

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