A
male
age
41-50,
*akaveli
writes:Me and my ex have been together for 5 years and after a month apart she got a new boyfriend. I had planned to marry her before we broke up and still I want to marry her. What should I do?
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male
reader, makaveli +, writes (16 September 2009):
makaveli is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u all for u help
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): I would give her her space, don't contact her for a month at least and work on yourself. Even agree with her that the break up was for the best. The last thing she wants to hear from you is that she made a mistake, any convincing on your part will just make her dig in her heels more.
Figure out what caused the break up, if you did something to hurt her then apologize, once; do not beg for her to take you back.
The fact that only a month later she already has a new boyfriend, sounds to me like she is on the rebound, which means she is using him to get over feelings she has about you. Usually when a girl does this she picks someone who is the complete opposite of you, and she chooses horribly. In time she may figure this out and come looking for you.
I can't tell you whether to just forget her and move on, that is up to you to decide. But if you want to get her back then give her some space and time and after a month or so, just give her a call and try to be her friend. And during this month go out on some dates of your own, and somehow let her know about it. Competition is great for making someone realize that they may be permanently losing someone they love.
I wish you the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): She has moved on. Do you want to marry someone who might love you less than you love her? You would be miserable.Hit the road!
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Ouch. That hits close to home. I was engaged to a girl, we had spent 3 years together, we even had the wedding half planned and the date set, but then she dumped me three weeks ago without a reason except that she "loved" me but is no longer "in love". She doesn't have a new guy yet that I am aware of, but she's no longer talking to me or emailing or anything. It's been two weeks since I heard word one from her.
I don't know what to say except that it sucks to go from engaged and planning to a full-stop breakup. I'm personally leaning on friends heavily, building back up my social life to keep the silence to a minimum, and praying a lot for healing of my heart.
It's times like this that are best for boosting your own self-esteem, maybe working out more (I'm losing weight now, yay), remembering who your friends are that love you, and starting to look for someone who will be even better for you that the girl you were with. And a little soul searching doesn't hurt things either!
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Its very sad that you've had to go through this as 5 years is a serious amount of time to spend with someone that you love.
Its best for you to take some time for yourself and think about letting her go and moving on.
Its apparent from what you've written that she has decided to find someone else. Your plans are pretty much out of reach at this point and so there isn't anything you can do.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Give up on your marriage plans, apparently you don't have a willing bride. Lots more fish, time to go fishing.
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