A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and in that time we have had a reletively good sex life. a couple of months ago i got pregnant even though i was taking the pill. I ended up having a terminatuion for several reasons. main reason being the obvious- financial.The problem is, ever since our love life has gotten to an all time low. were lucky if we make love once a month. I know this is my fault as my boyfriend is all over me constantly, shows me lots of effection etc.He has been very good in being patiant, telling me he loves me and he will wait...that was until recently when he started to suspect i was sleeping with somebody else. He says that because there was a point were my libido was sky high, it cant be possible for me to go a whole month and not complain.I havnt been sleeping around, the truth is i dont even look at anyone else. I do still fancy my boyfriend, and i want nothing more than to get our lovelife back on track but somnething is stopping me and i cant figure out what. I dont know if its the fear of falling pregnant again, or if its stress(i recently changed jobs, changed my car for financial reasons and am now looking for a new home due to neighbours).I dont feel the urge to make love, nothing seems to arouse me, we've tried porn, roleplay, and the good old fashion romancing.does anyone have any suggestions/advice...anything helpfull at all before my partner leaves me....were currently arguing through text as he says ib dont fancy him and says im unwilling to try. He has so far threatened to leave but i fear its only a matter of time because he follows through on this threat.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (3 August 2012):
 Whether he likes it or not, YOU need help in grieving over what happened. Even if it was the best thing for the two of you, what your body/mind went through is not easy for a guy to understand.
I suggest you ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist or find a forum for women who have had a termination.
It might also be that your hormones are out of whack. I would call your doctor.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 August 2012):
 Couples therapy. Your boyfriend needs to grasp that having an abortion is a big deal, and while some women can snap right back to their old life, many women don't. Some women even fall into depression, which could be the cause of your low libido.
You lost a child after all. I think you are grieving, and that is why your libido is low. Try talking to your doctor about this, they will know better than me.
Also, set your boyriend straight. Tell him you want to talk, in person. Sit down with him and take your time and tell him once and for all. You are not cheating. You are still very much attracted to him and care for him. But you lost your libido after the abortion. Tell him you will go see your doctor about this. Maybe you should bring your boyfriend with you to the doctors as well, so you both get to hear what they have to say.
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