A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've finally met my long distance girlfriend after 4 years of talking online and on the phone. We met online 4 years ago and despite the distance we have developed a passionate strong loving relationship and even planned on getting married. Yesterday was finally the day we saw each other but not in the best environment. I won't say where we met but we weren't alone and her parents were there for part of the time so our interaction was limited. We did have 1 hug and a kiss however. My problem now is I feel different and don't know why. I waited for this day but also feared it thinking it might change our relationship. Could it be from the limited interaction the both of us had? Could it be I just miss her already or maybe I'm just scared of what she really thinks of me? I've seen pictures, videos, and talked to her on webcam before so I know what she looks like but perhaps its different in person with all the body language involved. I'm just not sure but id like to know from others who have been in my situation meaning being in a LD relationship and felt weird or a little different after meeting the first time and whether or not it's something to worry about. Thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): dude i came across your question and i have to give my 2 cents. I went through exact same situation you did about 2 years ago. I met my gf online, spoke for 4 years phone msn webcam etc, then we finally met, it was WIERD AS the first time, but eventually things became normal. the thing is it takes time to adjust, so im writing this to let you know that its normal to feel and think what you are currantly thikning /feeling. After about our third visit we got used to eachother, and you know whats crazy? it felt like i known her my whole life, i think the tranwsition stage from online to offline takes a little bit to get used to, but once its over, its heaven man... so dont let it get to you, it happens in ALL LDR'S!
congrats and goodluck on your journey my freind!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Hi there =)I think you need to spend more time with her!I myself am in basically the same situation, I met a guy online 2 and a half years ago and we talk every single day, on webcams in calls, chat, ps a range of things anyway. I met him for the first time in January...for the first hour to two hours it was incredibly awkward, like it felt so weird because usually there would be a screen in front of us, but it wasnt weird bad just weird. After getting back to his house, meeting the parents and just sitting with him it was as though id been there forever, it came so naturally but the sexual tension was ridiculous between us i think he felt most of my entire body that first night but we didnt do anything the first night, lol. But im sure we would have if we didnt keep saying omg ive only been here a few hours =)Anyways i stayed in his house for 2 weeks with him and his parents. I got along great with them all...especially him and i mean i was with him almost 24/7, we ended sleeping in the same bed and I loved it.When I got home I was soo ill and it turned out to be love sick, I miss waking up next to him each day and getting cuddles and kisses, and knowing he's there and having someone to talk to face to face and yeah...I miss him!He lives in canada and is 19, and i'm 21 from the UK so i'm the older one too and the female.But that's my advice, spend more time with her...and see where it takes you because when you've met in person and been together for at least a day or two you will get the idea whether you want to be with them or not.Good Luck =)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): this is the original poster of the question.To answer ur question xtwinklex we saw each other only for 2 hours andx during those 2 hours our communication and interaction was limited since we were actually on a tour with the guide always talking and when that was over her parents were there so as you can imagine its not how I planned to meet her since we wanted time to ourselves and kiss and such but we hardly got to do anything even talk so that may be the disappointing part that we've been dying to see each other, finally did but not as planned so of course it wasn't the same with both of us not fully able to be ourselves. Then there's the nervousness which accounted for a lot but at the same time I just don't know. I really wanted to feel closer after and make it be a moment to remember. It is memorable but not the way I wanted. I hope things will improve after our second meet. Also the reason it took 4 years is cause she was underage fr some time. She wa 13 and I was 17 when we met but now she's 18 since january so its fine, I just didn't want to take the risk.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (12 March 2011):
 4 years of LD with no meeting is an incredibly long time. I've actually never known anyone to go that long before meeting, so I can only go based on my own experience.
I met someone after talking and emailing for almost a year. Its so easy to get an image of that person in your head, and think you know them. We lived a world apart, me in the states, him in Japan. We talked daily, used the web cams, ect...and thought we were in love. When we finally met, (He flew from Japan), it was pretty much a disaster. I seen what he wanted me to see, and I guess he felt the same....it was really really bad. We discovered very quickly that we really didn't have much in common, didn't even really like each other after spending time together! He was supposed to stay a week, we even had plans of me flying back to Japan with him! He stayed 3 days. I couldn't wait for him to leave. I REALLY disliked him.
LDR can be so sweet, fun, and exciting, but its easy to get caught up in almost a fantasy. People can be who they want to be, but when you meet in person, sometimes the chemistry just isn't there.
You were probably very nervous, the parents were there...who knows? Only you can decide what you really felt. Its really hard to get to know someone in just a few days honestly. I don't care how much you talk on the phone,ect. Its not the same thing as being face to face.
Just so this doesn't end sadly....I met my ex fiance online and it truly was love at first sight..we were together for 10 years. It just depends, you know?
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A
female
reader, xtwinklex  +, writes (12 March 2011):
How long did you meet for? It's bound to feel weird, on one hand you're meeting someone you know so well but have had no physical interaction with... but know all sorts of quirks about. On the other, it's almost like knowing all sorts of quirks about... a stranger. It's a weird situation.I'd been with my ex for around 6-8months before we finally 'met' and yea.. it was akward. (and he's not an ex for any LD reason) We'd phoned most nights, we webcammed, we texted and instant messaged for several hours a day so knowledge-wise, we knew so much about each other but bodylanguagewise etc, we were so awkward (all the things you learn in a face to face relationship lik, head tilts when kissing or how they hold hands etc we hadn't learnt).What I found the strangest was the 'first kiss' with someone who, to me, I'd been dating for 6months. I'd say, give it a few more get togethers. Each one will be less awkward til suddenly something will click and you realise that actually there's no REAL difference between online and offline for you two. It's hard not to 'big up' the first meet, and it can be a little anticlimatic at times... because in a way it's NOT a first meet as you've been together some while so it can (sometimes disappointingly) be more comfort than fireworks. When you realise that, you also realise how good your situation is for WHAT it is :)I hope that made some sense and helped a little.
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A
female
reader, OnlyException +, writes (12 March 2011):
I can't answer this personally because my boyfriend and I met in real life first, but I strongly suggest asking this question on the forums of this site: http://members.lovingfromadistance.com/forum.php
there are literally hundreds of people who will be able to help you.
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