A
female
age
51-59,
*uejt
writes:Should I leave my husband? We have been together 26 years but since i retired on health grounds 3 years ago and he took early retirement, the small cracks that have always been there have opened up into great big craters. He's not a bad man, he's just not willing to talk through or compromise on any problems we have and just carries on as if everything is fine. He does twist things that I say to put me in a bad light and ignores me most of the time. I have asked him to move out temporarily to give me time to sort my head out but he refuses, although I have told him if I have to rent somewhere for me and my son then i will divorce him. He is so infuriating and its really stressing me out.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): Why does he have to move out? You are the one who feels there is a problem.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 March 2011):
I have to agree with the post below.
Realistically, a marriage cannot ever work without communication and compromise. They're fundamental steps in any good marriage. Ignoring these issues, as your husband does, is a sign of a man who has no clue about you, or worse a man who doesn't care about anyone but himself. These are pretty big problems, as you have found.
To be honest, from the information you've given, the time has come for you to rent that place and move on from him. He won't ever change, he won't ever compromise, he won't ever take his head out the sand.
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 It definitely sounds like you guys have worn each other ragged. Sometimes that happens, especially at retirement. People can get along with one another in bits and chunks, but suddenly they don't have work to fulfill their lives and they spend too much time with their spouses, that they suddenly realize things don't really work.It would probably be in your interest to start developing an interest in other hobbies... stuff that gives you some "space" between your husband and you.I think you should also consider seeing a counselor, even for yourself, to help you sort out the feelings that you are experiencing. You may have reached a phase in your life that you want to explore different opportunities and a counselor can help you. Also, if you leave your husband, please consider the effect it will have on your son.Good luck.
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A
male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 If you have no communication, and there's no room for compromise, you no longer have a marriage!
It's as simple as that.
You know what you have to do.
I give this answer based solely on the information you've
provided from your perspective only.
None of us have heard his side!
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