A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there.. so I'm kind of in an e-relationship with this guy who is 6 years older than me. We've been talking for 6 months. He lives in canada and I live in australia. We have a strong emotional connection (I know its the internet and all.. but it really is there)Lately he has been distant with me (he has been feeling depressed because he was fired from his job the week before christmas, and has been on this long drinking binge ever since =[). I try to be there for him to talk to but he doesn't want to talk much anymore. It hurts that he's pushing me away, so I've tried to emotionally disconnect myself. I do feel love for him, and I feel that losing him completely would be a huge waste.. we both felt that there was potential for a future together. His actions however make me feel like he doesn't care anymore.I just would like some advice maybe from people who have had a relationship over the internet before (or anyone else who wants to pitch in). Did you go through rough patches? Should I give him more space? Should I keep waiting on him while not getting much in return? I am willing to wait on him.. but I don't know if its worth it.(Also, I would much rather date someone who lives close to me.. I didn't choose it to be this way lol.)
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christmas, depressed, long distance, the internet Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey.. we've worked through it. We talk more now, things have kind of picked up where we left off. We're going to be friends for now (thats really all we can be), until we meet, which I am okay with. I'd rather be friends than nothing at all. I know for sure that we'll be meeting this year. He may come here because I may start studies in June.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (6 March 2010):
 Hey girly,what happened with your musician guy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks mizz butterflies and anonymous for your replies..
It was me who was going to go visit him and stay with him for a month this year. He wanted to pay for half the plane ticket. He has met my real life friends on webcam.. we used to be very involved in each others lives. His friends know who I am also.
He has told me many times that he he never wants to lose me, and he told me not to let this rough patch that he's going through to affect our relationship, but it has, and it's hard to ignore it.
About the money thing, he's a musician and does gigs a few times a month, and thats his main source of income so money isn't a huge issue. Its just now that he doesn't have a 9-5 job anymore, his routine has been messed up and he's become nocturnal.
I really don't want to give up on him but I'm so torn on what to do :(
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (6 February 2010):
Even though guys appreciate the love they feel,when its online they do think its time to move on.The sad thing is the girl they meet online boosts their confidence to the point they think they can date any girl they want! in the real world! Unless your guy is already very confident. But yours doesn't seem to belong in the second category....now that he lost his job,the least of his worries is to go to australia to meet you.I'm sorry to be this harsh on you but the odds are that you will have to forget him. If you don't want to lose him try doing this: Make a video of yourself and send it to him.The video has to be outdoors,have your friends say something in it,and at the end of the video say something personal to him.This way he will connect to your real life (IM's,texting and emails cause the "Internet Feeling phenomenon IFP) ...at the end of the personal message say something like "I'll always be there for you,love you sweety" ...Best of luck~
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): iv been in a simerler sitchation like you're in he lived far away and for a while it was great just getting to know each other and we planed to meet and all ....
the sank happend and he went cold and didnt want to talk soo i just let him know i was there for him but in the end i gt bored of waiting and so will you soo t alk to him ... mine did'nt turn out soo good it is bin u realie dont know the person no matter the chat n cam n phne txtding and stuff he had a diff life and soo did i and at the end of the day it wasnt going to don't get me wrong i hope you're works out better because he had a gf in real and was just dragging me along and stuff and eveything was lies and even thought its the net it still hurt anyway ...
just let him know you're there and talk it out but know what youre getting youre-self into cuz my mate met someone over net n he tried to raper her and that was realy bad left her emosily hurt and bla bla bla anyway be carefull and hope it all works out .... hope helped x
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