A
female
age
51-59,
*udith3030
writes:I met a good looking turkish man over the nternet 6 years ago. The chemistry was awesome , we spoke almost everyday on all these years , unti I stumble upon his picture and his real name on facebook. Call it God's guidance , imagine after six years. He is married with a child. I confronted him with it and he was out of words for the first time. But I now realized that whenever we have conversation , he sort of give me some hints such as what if I'm married and I'm separated and I gave a kid , would you be able to accept my kid? Of course I just did not put anything to it. He is married and separated when he explained to me. He said he was being honest that indeed in our first year of acquaintance he was still having sex with his wife whenever she takes the son to his place , since she herself is no longer living with him but with her parents. He told me that he wasn't very upfront with it because of the fear of losing me. I am so madly INLOVE with this person. The biggest reason why he lives on a different city in turkey is because he can no longer put up with the constant arguing with his wife and the wife' s father and mother. He has been threaten not to be able to visit nor speak to his son if he doesn't follow her conditions. I am so baffled as to whether I still need to continue seeing him or just end it. He had volunteered to be assigned to a different base because of it. My biggest concern is with her visiting and they would start getting intimate. How solid is the word of a turkish man when he swore on his son's life that he no linger have any sexual contact with the woman? Please I NEEd your advice. He is a good man.
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female
reader, Judith3030 +, writes (7 September 2014):
Judith3030 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe answer to the question why stay is because , part of me believed in him. Part is sooo scared to find out the truth. he is in the military and he lives separately from his wife because of the constant arguments. He left the city where he used to live and asked the base commander to move him to another city to avoid conflict with the wife and her family. He had admitted to me that he is very unhappy with his marriage and would not want to go back to live with her anymore. He is waiting for his son to reach the age of 14 or 15 to make him understand the situation. I dont know why he wants to wait this long , I know the child whether he likes it or not already knows the situation or aware of it. He had told me that the psychologist advice was to make it look as if they are both happy and pretend to be happy when the son is present. I should think that would be the most excruciating thing to do just for the sake of not showing a child how discombobulated your relationship is. He wants to meet me , because I am scheduled to visit his country for business. Should I commit to this, or should i just let him know that it would be a very bad idea if we do so.
A
female
reader, Judith3030 +, writes (4 September 2014):
Judith3030 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you thank you, thank you, I just need validation. am I really INLOVE with this guy or I was just really captivated by his princely look and romantic approach. Thank you for making me realized now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2014): He is a liar- he is married, he probably just wants to use you to come to the US or something like that. You've never even met him so it's not a real relationship- just give up on him for good. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2014): An online connection is not a real relationship until you have physically met, spent reasonable periods of time together and at least got to know each other at a fairly basic level. Otherwise it may as well be a computer game, it's just not real. At least you know the truth now, don't waste any more time and get out into your own community and meet real men in real life would be my advice.
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A
female
reader, Judith3030 +, writes (3 September 2014):
Judith3030 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the honest and direct answer. To answer the question as to whether I have meg him in person face to face nooooo. We have been talking on cam all these years . According to him he stayed married because of his son, who is only 10 years old . According to him if he divorce her , he will never see his son again. The worst thing about it is the woman's parents are already involved. Now I don't know , why he uses his son as an excuse, but I have a feeling that he still wants her back or vice VERSA . They still love and. Care for each other they are just angry with each other as of this moment. What happens if they decide to go ahead and work it out? Where will I be? Out in the cold with no one to hold onto.. Your answer really made me realized that. I had THESAME question , but I just need someone yo validate if.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 September 2014):
 It's been 6 years....
have you ever met him face to face in real life?
if not then I would not worry about this non-relationship.
he has deceived you. He is probably still deceiving you.
since you met him online 6 years ago by now one of you should have moved to be with the other... what are the plans to end the distance? if there are none, why not?
lets say he SAYS he is not sleeping with his WIFE (they are married therefore she is his wife, albeit [maybe] estranged) will you believe him knowing he has lied to you in the past? IF not.. then why stay?
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