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7 year itch. Why would she leave without even talking to me and telling me what was wrong?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 19 September 2012)
A male Australia age 41-50, *gentk6 writes:

I am still a little confused about why my wife left me. She says she

left because I was having an affair with a friend of mine, which I wasn't and she knew this, we have been together for 7 years, always have been able to talk, but in the last few mths before she left, she seemed to be upset about something, but when I would ask her what was wrong she would insist nothing was wrong and everything was ok. I even asked her if she was thinking of leaving when I had some suspicions that was coming, and she insisted she was thinking nothing of the sort. The day she left, she had just come back from two weeks with her mother in Brisbane. I don't understand how she could just get up and leave without trying to talk to me about it, or we could have seen a councilor. Can anyone explain to me why she would leave, when I've done nothing wrong, without trying to fix the marriage first? I would like to work things out but she doesn't seem to be interested in trying. What should I do?

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (19 September 2012):

She is/was cheating on you OR there is an equally large problem in her life that has made her change course (religion, career, illness etc). Try to snoop around and find out the real problem.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntThere has to have been something going on... No one just walks away fro ma good marriage.

Like CaringGuy pointed out... Either she cheated and accused you as a way out or something else triggered her wish for a divorce.

Something else is going on.

And I agree with SVC, cheating is not just about having physical sex. There are MANY ways that doesn't even involve physical contact that people deem is cheating.

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A female reader, lover06 United States +, writes (19 September 2012):

there could have been a lots of reasons maybe it had nothing to do with you. she was wrong to just leave like that, she should have explained even if she didnt want things to work between you guys atleast you would have known. I hope that she would come around to explain her actions, give her time and in the mean time know that it wasnt your fault coz if was, she would have made a big deal about it. hope you'll find some peace by just letting her be . good luck .

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2012):

My gut says that she was the one having the affair.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI'm afraid no one but your wife knows why she left.

why did she think you were having an affair with a friend?

you do know that affairs do not have to be physical right?

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A female reader, demeplev United States +, writes (18 September 2012):

demeplev agony auntI am so sorry your going thru this.

My first gut reaction is she has met someone else and just left and really treated you and the marriage disrespectfully while not even talking to you or giving you the respect of a reason, what a wimp.

There is only one thing tho maybe she DID tell you and you didnt hear it? I doubt it.

I am sorry please heal yourself and move on to someone who deserves your love and commitment.

peace and love

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