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16 and sleeping with somone twice my age!

Tagged as: Age differences, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 May 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 11 May 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ok, so i'm 16 and did something very stupid! I slept with someone twice my age. I do regret it. It was just a bit of fun but everytime i see him, it's like my heart skips a beat, i just have a big smile on my face, i'm not in love with him! The thing is, i was sleeping with him for about five months, and i'm only just coming to terms that the fact i was being such an idiot! I just don't know what to do now, i actually got pregnant with him but had a miscarriage, just after, i find out he also got another women pregnant and already has a child! I see him almost everyday. I'm debating whether or not to actually move country! I just want to get away from him and forget about it all, although it will be hard because he is a laugh and just one of those you can't help but to get along with! It's getting me so down! What do i do now? I've tried avoiding him so i don't bump into him but it's hard trying to get him out my mind. I know i'm stupid so please don't tell me, i already know what people think, as alot of people who know him, knows about what happened between us! It's horrible knowing what they are thinking about me, what an idiot i am!

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A female reader, La Sad Girl United States +, writes (11 May 2010):

All im saying is dnt move to another country dnt show him ur weak even thogh u move thiz memory will always follow u...confront him n tell him how u feel if u wnt him to leave u tell him if not than thts up to u.Good Luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010):

This has nothing to do with age or maturity.

This girl only got "too mature for this guy" when she discovered he was lying to her and knocking up one girl after another. That's a good reason to dump a guy at any age.

If this guy had been prince charming, she would probably still be fierce about defending the age difference right now. She would probably be saying their relationship shows that she is very mature for her age.

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A female reader, EbonyBlossom United Kingdom +, writes (10 May 2010):

EbonyBlossom agony auntIn all fairness, a 32 year old man who sleeps with a 16 year old girl is a bit of a perve. If you were 15 when this happened then this actually makes him a criminal because he had sex with an underage. This does show your maturity though - you're 16 and you regret it, he's 32, slept with another girl as well as you, and probably doesn't regret it at all!

You know what you've done wrong. Let this be your lesson. DON'T DO IT AGAIN. Also get checked fpr chlamydia etc as you don't know his sexual history and it's a lot longer than yours.

People will change what they think of you if you prove yourself. Have a break from sex outside of a relationship, especially with someone so much older than you. Don't jump into sex again too quickly.

Lastly, should you have sex with someone your own age, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use protection! I won't lecture you on the types of protection, but if you're not sure what to do, private message me.

(NOTE: A surprising amount of people think the withdrawal method is reliable, IT IS NOT.)

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A female reader, CandiMax United States +, writes (10 May 2010):

It sounds to me, that at one point in time you didn't think anything was wrong with it. I also think that you worry about what others think and say. I can understand that, believe me. I can see some kinda of feelings you might have for this older man... My advice to you is be yourself.. It doesn't matter what others think or say.. ALl that matters is what you think...

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A female reader, purple_butterfly Canada +, writes (10 May 2010):

If it is easier to move to country, I would recommend you do it. You are just 16, you have more than 3/4th of your life ahead of you. You cannot waste your time and lfie after someone who is already involved with other women, who is old and who got you pregnant and then u had to get a miscarriage. there is way too much history between you two. I would suggest moving will help you get a fresh start in life.

Well, you do know that whats happening is wrong and that is why you think people might think you are an idiot. But guess what? We all do stupid mistakes in life and we learn from it and move on. People who do not learn from their mistakes go through more shyt. So please, don;t do that to your self.

Take a charge of your life. Leave him and start it all over. You can do it.

:)

If you have any other concerns, you could contact me again.

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (10 May 2010):

TimmD agony auntHave you tried telling him no? If you truly do not love him or have feelings for him, then you should be able to just stop. If you want to give the excuse "He's so fun to be around and I cannot help myself..." then it means you DO have feelings for him.

Be honest with yourself first. If you do not have feelings for him, then just say no. If he forces you to have sex after that, than it is rape. You know the relationship is wrong, so don't worry about whether or not you are still friends. He is manipulating you and taking advantage of you because of your age.

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A female reader, ffogalilly United States +, writes (10 May 2010):

He is lucky to not be in jail, you are foolish to be involved with him, but he is the stupid one, he is a grown freaking man and he's messing around with a child, that is just sick. He has definitely sunk his hooks into you, if you were my child I would have him thrown in jail, because obviously he has a fetish for young girls. I feel sorry for you because this guy sounds like bad news, I would go to your parents and tell them what is going on, is this man your teacher? You need to get away from this guy, he is a sexual predator.

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A female reader, sammyo United States +, writes (10 May 2010):

Where is it exactly that you're seeing him so often? Is he your teacher or a workmate? If so, switch schools/workplaces.

Focus on your schoolwork. Your mind shouldn't be focused on this 'man' all the time.

Pregnancy doesn't sound like "just a bit of fun" at age 16. Take pride in yourself. You deserve respect because this guy definitely didn't respect you, especially being only 16 years old. He should have known better.

Stay away from him and focus on being you and finding a nice, polite boy who will treat you right. The past is in the past so there's nothing you can change now. Just keep your head up and be strong.

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