A
female
age
26-29,
*uzzybunny4959
writes:hello to cut to the case i am 14 and i think i am pregnant. my boyfriend is 15 but doest really know how to react. my mom and my step dad are going to flip out. i dont know what to do. so my question is, if i am pregnant at this age what rights do i have to my child? what would you do if you were in my shoes? how should i tell my mom? i really dont just have one questions i have severial, i dont even know were to begin please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (16 March 2012):
 You've taken a good step by finding this site, where people will give you kind and helpful advice. So: don't worry now. You aren't alone with this any more. That's the first thing.
Now: before you start panicking, you need to do some simple things. Don't question them - just do them.
1. Go to a drug store or supermarket. Buy a pregnancy test. It will be a urine sample test. Go home, or into the bathroom in a store, or anywhere you feel you will have a few moments to yourself, without interruption, and feeling safe. You will have to pee onto the test stick inside. Very quickly (in a few minutes) you will see a result. Some of them have different symbols to show you are pregnant, but a lot of them just show one line if you aren't, and two lines if you are. You will have time to read the instructions while you are waiting, or before you start.
2. If it turns out you are pregnant, just take some deep breaths and remember this isn't a roller coaster. You have enough time to take it in, and to calmly think about things. You are only 14, but that is pretty grown up, and you are a young woman in your own right. And this moment is when you start acting like one.
3. Don't tell anyone for now. We can work up to that. Firstly, come back on here and confirm you are pregnant. Then also write a list of your questions, and ask them on here. Then we will go from then.
This needs to be dealt with in stages. Each stage will be ok, and you will manage it fine. So just slow down, calm down, and get the test.
Whether you are pregnant or not, there is no point getting worked up about it.
Get upset if your cat dies, or your grandma. But not if you are pregnant. Pregnancy is about the most positive state you will ever be in, so if you are pregnant, everything will work out fine, you'll see. And anyhow, pregnancy is only a phase. You'll get through this, one way or the other.
So, do the test. Then come tell us.
xx
A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (15 March 2012):
 Take a test, first of all.
And if it is positive, you NEED to talk to your parents, and a doctor!
You're still a child yourself, you know, and if you want to keep the baby, if there is one (And I will stress that raising a child at that age is extremely difficult, stressful, and time-consuming), you need to get all the help you can!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012): Well I'm fourteen and about 6 months pregnant my parents are both very strict and I hated it when people would say 'just tell them!' Because they don't know how bad they'd react. Through the months I knew of my pregnancy I was so scared so I just felt keeping it to myself was best. My mom found out yesterday and turns our to be supportive. I have to have true baby now but my mom would've payed for an abortion and not told my dad which is surprising. Long story short, I should've told her long ago, you should do it now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 March 2012):
 Go buy a pregnancy test RIGHT AWAY (or have your BF buy it) then read the instructions CAREFULLY and take the test.
IF it turns out that you are pregnant, show your mom the test and talk to her. Have her help you make a decision. 14 is sooooo young to have a baby.
*hugs* PLEASE do this now, don't wait. If you are pregnant you need to find out what you are going to do now rather then later. And you WILL need your mom's help and support.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 March 2012):
 I second everything that Miamine said. And you need to tell your mom. She is your mother, she wants to help you and she does not want you to try to deal with this alone. She's going to cry and be upset, but she will love you and do everything she possibly can to help you. You are only 14, you do not want to go through this alone.
You should make an appointment with a family planning/women's clinic. They will give you an accurate test, then they will guide you through ALL of your available options and help you with whichever you choose.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (10 March 2012):
 1. Stay calm, panic just makes you dizzy.
2. Take pregnancy test, either from chemist, (you have to buy it) or from planned parenthood, (address should be on the web)
3. If you are NOT pregnant, do not have sex without condoms, contact planned parenthood for help and advice with contraception. Best to stop sex until you are legal.
4. If you ARE pregnant, go straight to your mother and tell her, you have no choice, the baby will not disappear and your belly will only get bigger and she will eventually find out. Mothers say lots of stuff, but they are mothers and the love you and their job is to fix things and they will make everything ok.
TO TELL - Find a private time with mum alone and simply say "Mum, I am pregnant, sorry, please help"
TO ABORT/TO ADOPT: They need you to sign some papers, if you don't want to have an abortion and you don't want to put the baby up for adoption then don't sign anything unless you know exactly what your doing.
TO KEEP BABY: You cannot do this alone, babies take a lot of time and money, you have no job, no place of your own... you cannot keep the baby unless you have your parents support. You will get into trouble and start to dislike the baby and then the government will take it away from you. That's why no matter what you do, YOU MUST TELL YOUR MOTHER.
STOP HAVING SEX, YOU ARE TOO YOUNG... blah, blah, blah, blah, because young people never listen, they think adults just like to say stuff because they like to make noise.
TAKE TEST, IF PREGNANT, GO AND TELL MUM.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (10 March 2012):
OK hon, first, find out if you really are pregnant. Go to the drug store and buy a test. Pee on the stick and see what it says. If it says negative, then you have no problem.
If it says positive, then post a follow up, and we'll help you further.
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