A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:What does he keep hurting me like this? what is wrong with me:(?I loved my ex boyfriend so much, I thought we had a relationship, I thought I was special to him the way he was special to me. But he broke up with me saying he doesn't want a relationship.We've broken up 4months now. But he still comes back to me. No matter how long we go without contact for. We always end up talking again. This time I really thought he was trying to win me back again. He's been ringing me everyday, takes me out to lunch, shopping etc: holding hands.But I spoke to him and he said Thursday we went to see some girl and he had sex with her and he'll be seeing her again on tuesday.Am so hurt, I do I let him keep doing this to me? Am not an ugly girl. A lot of guys say am gorgeous and decent cos whenever they try to get into my pants I don't give it. But with my ex it was different cos I love him.My friends all thinks I should sleep with the guys that want me that will help get over my ex.But I can't do that. I've gotta be inlove. and a relationship to have sex. Am crying as I type this:( I feel miserable. Why does he keep hurting me:( HUGSThanks..x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): You sound lovely. You need to break all contact with him as he will continue to treat you this way UNTIL YOU STOP IT.
You're friends advice is well-intentioned, but misses the point: your feelings are hurt and sleeping with other people won't change that.
Accept this will take some time to get over, but the sooner you cut contact with your ex, the sooner you will begin healing. Sooner than you think, you will feel better and happier and be open to love with someone who respects you.
You know in your heart that he does not deserve a girl like you.
A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (7 August 2011):
 You obviously like him more than he likes you, he knows this and is using it against you. The solution is the no contact rule. Yes it hurts but that's the answer.
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A
male
reader, donsagacious  +, writes (7 August 2011):
 You're so hurt because of the way u look at it. Maybe his just tryin to maintain a working casual relationship with u; learn to take him only as a friend and nothing more. That way, whatever he does won't have such a strong emotional impact on you.
My dear, love is not stupid, wake up! and move on with your life. I make bold to say here that he doesn't love you (not anymore) because if he did, he won't be treating you this way.
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A
male
reader, GoodDog +, writes (7 August 2011):
 He will continue to do this as long as you let him!!
He tells you he doesn't want a relationship but is soon back at your side, sharing time with you, holding hands, etc. Then he's telling you that he's having sex with some other girl!
He's obviously got no respect for you and doesn't feel the same about you as you do for him. You are worth much more than what he has to offer.
I'd say stop all contact with him now. He calls - don't answer. He texts - delete them. He wants to see you - ignore his requests. This is how to take control of the situation and will make you stronger in time.
It's not easy and takes some discipline but will be better for you in the long run.
You're right about not sleeping around with other blokes just to get over him. This won't help you and you'll only feel worse in the long run - especially if they are only out to use you too.
Stay strong and don't let him get you down!
Hope this helps and good luck.
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