A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm friendly with a guy thru my circle of friends. We met recently and he's very nice and funny BUT too young for me and I don't think I feel any sparks. He's been trying to get me to go out and I wouldn't mind but not more then as friends. How do I approach this without hurting Him??
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2011):
 Well let's say that it's not the age that's the problem... unless you are over 18 and he is under 18...
the problem is that you "don't feel that way about him".... and that's not age specific... at least it should not be.
but there is NO great way to say "I don't fancy you THAT way"...
so if he says "let's do such and such" you make it clear that you want to do that but DUTCH TREAT (you pay your way he pays his) AND JUST as friends...
if he pushes you, you have to say "I like you but I'm not interested in a romantic relationship at this time"
it sucks and yes it's personal but there is nothing you can do other than be true to yourself. it will hurt him less in the long run.
A
female
reader, Moon_Light  +, writes (21 November 2011):
It depends how much of an age difference there is. I wouldn't say that anything between 1-10yrs is too much. But if you really do only want to be friends with him and nothing more, then you have to be honest with him and tell him that you want nothing more than a friendship with him. There's nothing worse than someone thinking they have a chance and keep trying it on with you.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 I'm in agreement with the others. Having to decline someone's advances is often a crummy feeling for both parties, so the best way to do it is ONCE. You'll have to be clear and direct, and keep it short and sweet. If you do it too gently he'll think he has a chance and he'll keep trying.
Better to be cut deeply once than cut 'nicely' a thousand times.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 There's no easy way to do this, you just have to be direct and honest. Next time he tries to ask you out, just tell him the truth. "Hi Tom, I'm flattered that you want us to go out on a date. But I'm not sure I feel the same way and I don't want to lead you on and give you any hopes. Nothing personal, ok? "
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 It's impossible. Be clear and direct. Something like "Mr Nice Guy, I see you like me but I don't feel the same. Sorry. I think it is best if we keep our distance for a while. I will define how long that while will be. It's not personal".
That's it.
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