How can I manage it "on top"?
Q. Me and my girlfriend are ready to start having sex.We've read lots of advice in this section and it seems "me on top" is the best way to start. I'm worried though abouthow to go about stroking without squashing my girlfriend and keeping ...
A. 18 April 2008: Don't worry to much about it, I think it is great that you two have looked into it together. Just remember that communication is very important. You have to tell each other what feels good and what you don't like. It is different for everyone and ... (read in full...)
What are some side effects from taking the pill?
Q. Hey there, I was wondering if theres any side effects to using the pill, only i've heard it makes you gain weight. I'm not sure if it's true or not. Well any info would be greatly appreciated thank you! ...
A. 18 April 2008: It can make some people gain weight and there are other things that your doctor will tell you about. It didn't make me gain wait and the nice thing about it is, you can predict when you will get your period almost down to the exact hour. If you ... (read in full...)
I want to know if he loves me but I get mixed signals from him! How should I proceed?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now and he says he loves me and sometimes says he is in love with me and sometimes says he doesn't know or no. When he doesn't know, or says no, he says it is because I put pressure on him or he feels ...
A. 15 April 2008: He seems to be full of crap. You guys have been together for a year, so yes, he should know if he loves you by now. And from your question, it seems that he is blaming YOU as to why he hasn't made up his mind! There must be good things about him, ... (read in full...)
Any ideas what he could mean by these texts?
Q. I'm a bit confused... a friend of a friend was texting me the other night asking me to go he pub. I couldn't because i was in work early the next morning. I told him and he was trying for ages to persuade me to go.. although i never..so he continued ...
A. 15 April 2008: If you know for a fact that he is 'not that type of guy', then I would say it's a good possibility that he has a crush on you. Or at the very least he seems to want to get to know you better if he wants to hang out with you. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that he will expect to have sex with me, and I'm not ready.
Q. I am dating this guy that i really like, but he is four years older than me. I'm not sure that the age difference should be a problem, but i'm worried that he will expect me to have sex with him. When i was younger, i was raped by my cousin, and ...
A. 15 April 2008: Just tell him you are not ready. You don't even have to go into all the detail of why, he should respect you enough to not pressure you for sex no matter what your reasons for wanting to wait. If he pressures you after that, then he's a creep and ... (read in full...)
How do I give her the strength to be strong and take the step forward?
Q. I am a single man with grown up children of my own. I have been having an affair with a woman at work for the past 2 years. She is in an unhappy marriage due to her husbands infidelity and has 2 teenage children. She wants to leave but is stru...
A. 15 April 2008: I don't know if strength is something you can give this woman. You should stop your affair until she can get her own head straitened out. I have never been married, but I believe with these kind of situations, the married person usually chooses to ... (read in full...)
I don't have a clue what I'm doing, and it's going to be her first time too.
Q. I need help. Me and my g/f have been going out for 8 months, it's a long time for me and it's her first serious relationship. We've been taking it slow mainly because i think it's best if we do, she's still a virgin, and she's never even kissed a...
A. 15 April 2008: The best thing to do is talk to her about what feels good. For example, when your had is down there, ask if it fells good, ask 'does it feel better here, or here?', so you find the right spot, etc. But really with all this kind of stuff ... (read in full...)
Any ideas what he could mean by these texts?
Q. I'm a bit confused... a friend of a friend was texting me the other night asking me to go he pub. I couldn't because i was in work early the next morning. I told him and he was trying for ages to persuade me to go.. although i never..so he continued ...
A. 15 April 2008: I think he just wanted to sleep with you. He was drinking and texting you, so I'm sure sex was on his mind. If he was really interested, he would ask you to dinner.
Also, I wouldn't go around telling people you are annoying or not attracti... (read in full...)
When's the right time to tell her I have a child?
Q. I met a really nice girl about 3 weeks ago and we have been out on one date that went really well, i'm 32 and she is 25. Since then we have been texting each other alot and we are arranging to go out again real soon. I really do like this girl alot...
A. 15 April 2008: I would tell her on this second date you are going on. There's no way of knowing if it will make her run, but if she does, then she is not the right person for you. Your son should really be the most important person in your life and if the girl ... (read in full...)
I am a emotional mess, I need closure and I want to be happy once more.
Q. I am so torn. I have been with this guy for 5 years. He has been verbally abusive to me for the past 3. I am only here because I think I might be afraid of starting over. Worse, he has done a number on my self-esteem. He's put me down so much and ...
A. 13 April 2008: It's scary to start over, but that doensn't mean you should stay in a bad situation. Try to take things one day at a time and keep telling yourself it will get easier, because it really will! It just takes time. And the more you keep taking his ... (read in full...)
This guy has cut me off but I can't deal with ending it
Q. Can someone please tell me how to gain closure when he wont co-operate or tell me how he feels? I have a boyfriend, but we cant have sex because he has emotional difficulties. I started fooling around with this other guy, nothing much happened but ...
A. 11 April 2008: Well, I think more info would be helpful, but if you have to see this guy and he still will not talk to you, just try your best to let it go. Ignore him, don't even look at him. Also, why are you cheating on your boyfriend? I think you need to ... (read in full...)
Does he fancy me, or does he just think I'm easy?
Q. Right, i have been with my boyfriend about 8 months now..(let's call him Jo - to keep it secret) through him i have made alot of new friends and some very very good ones at that. A good few months ago one of these very good friends made a drun...
A. 11 April 2008: I think he does like you, but he may just want to have sex with you. Either way you and your boyfriend should put a stop to his behavior, it's rude to you and your boyfriend.... (read in full...)
People say "he's so not into you" - but is this true? Could he have feelings for me?
Q. well i have posted a lot of questions regarding my crush and now i am here with another 1..i would really appreciate a lot of answers to this..and thanks to all the agony aunts and uncles..u guys rock!!!so getting down to business..well i am in this ...
A. 11 April 2008: It seems he is not that interested, he would have made a move by now. If you don't mind making the first move and you really want to know how he feels you could try to talk to him. Also, how much do you know about him? Is it possible that he ... (read in full...)
His children are controlling his life, any suggestions?
Q. How do you get a man to stop allowing his grown kids to control his choice of potential mates? They just don't want him to date anyone and i think that this is unfair. Inheritence is one of the reasons probably and i do not think that that is the ...
A. 8 April 2008: It's really up to him on what to do with the kids. As a parent, he is more responsible for this than they are. Did he divorce their mother? Because he could be letting them act like this because of guilt he still has. The best thing for you to ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to lose weight, it's getting to me, I'm beginning to self-harm. Please help me.
Q. Hey Aunts and Uncles, I could really do with your help here! I've been trying for about 2 months now to lose weight. This is going to sound silly, but I feel like my abdomen (i think it is) sticks out too much, and everyone else seems to have such a ...
A. 8 April 2008: I think you are at an age where most people are worried about how they look. But is you are so upset that you are harming yourself, you should find someone you can talk to about it. Harming yourself is never the right way to go. Please stop ... (read in full...)
My ex cheated but he really, really loves me! I'm so confused....can it work?
Q. My ex cheated on me in september, and the girl he was with told me in december. he denied it.. i finaly got it out of him when i had solid evidence. i stayed with him, but broke up with him in january until march.... we were not really broken up, we ...
A. 8 April 2008: I would move on if I were you. Sometimes people can make a mistake and be forgiven, but the fact that he was not honest with you and then when you gave him hard evidence he made excuses for what he had done. I would say he is a lost cause. I ... (read in full...)
We differ in our attitude to fidelity. What can I do here?
Q. I have been living with my girlfriend for 8 years now. She has 2 boys 10 and 12 years old that only really know me as their dad. We have had some rough times in the past, partly because she suffers from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and partly ...
A. 8 April 2008: It sounds like a really tough situation because of the kids involved. But I agree with the other comment, she needs to be faithful if this relationship is going to survive. If she doesn't understand that then I am afraid you should move on. Not ... (read in full...)
He likes me and someone else at the same time...I want to pull away but I can't! What can I do?
Q. well, i feel there is no one at home or school i can turn to. it seems pathetic. but here i go, theres a boy, i spent my summer with him, now he likes me and someone else, he cant make his mind up, i keep trying to pull away, but i feel like i love ...
A. 8 April 2008: Don't wait around for him. You don't want to miss out on a guy who knows what he wants. Also, this may make the current guy want you more when he realizes you are slipping away. ... (read in full...)
Is he interested or is he too busy for me?
Q. I met this guy a few weeks ago and my brother in law told him I liked him and he said he was interested. So I had my brother in law give him my number and he told him he felt pressured to call now and he is so busy with work and class that he ...
A. 4 April 2008: I'm sorry to say, but it seems that he isn't that interested... ... (read in full...)
I don't want commitment but this girl does, do you think I should tell her that?
Q. Hello hello. Battling with a few things in my love life and i'd appreciate some other peoples views on it. Basicly 2 years ago i felt ways for a girl that id never felt before, closest thing to love i've ever felt, but there was a messy break up a...
A. 4 April 2008: You need be upfront with her and the sooner you do the easier it will be on both of you.
I know you are saying that the reason you don't want a relationship is because you have too much going on right now. But the truth is, if you truly did thin... (read in full...)
I love being with him 24/7 so how do I make him care?
Q. I have been dating this guy for almost 3 months, and we talk about our future and we talk about moving away together.... When we got together he smoked pot everyday more than 4 times a day....more than 6 times a day! He eventually saw how much it ...
A. 4 April 2008: I think you answered your own question. It always sucks when someone doesn't live up to be the person you know they can be, but as you stated: "I can't CHANGE him if he doesnt want to be changed" Also, you state you are "extremely unhappy", so why ... (read in full...)
I want know if he likes me, what do you think?
Q. i met a guy through my bestfriend. they work together and she has known him a long time. he came over a few days ago to hangout with me, her and her boyfriend. we were all drinking and he ended up stayin the night. although he could have slept on t...
A. 4 April 2008: It sounds like he likes you. I understand he wants to take it slow after getting out of a long relationship, but is he also shy? It seems that he likes you if he wants to go on the birthday trip with you. And the no kissing after a night of ... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend pay rent when the mortgage is in my name?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years will be moving in with me soon and I'm not sure if he should pay 'rent' because the mortgage in my name only. I don't like the idea of him paying 'rent' but it would be nice it he contributed some. Is that fair? I'm not ...
A. 4 April 2008: Hi Cindy, this isn't about him refusing to pay, and he doesn't expect to move in for free. My home is in Pittsburgh, PA and prices are reasonable here. I was asking the question to see what others thought would be fair, because the house is in my ... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend pay rent when the mortgage is in my name?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years will be moving in with me soon and I'm not sure if he should pay 'rent' because the mortgage in my name only. I don't like the idea of him paying 'rent' but it would be nice it he contributed some. Is that fair? I'm not ...
A. 3 April 2008: He pays about 500/month + utilities in a house with 3 other renters. My total morgage payment is 955. (without taxes it's 670) Pretty much any way we divide things up it will be cheaper for both of us.... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend pay rent when the mortgage is in my name?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years will be moving in with me soon and I'm not sure if he should pay 'rent' because the mortgage in my name only. I don't like the idea of him paying 'rent' but it would be nice it he contributed some. Is that fair? I'm not ...
A. 3 April 2008: Thanks, oldersister. I know it probably sounds bad the way I phrased my response, but that isn't the case here. I think him getting his finances together will help both of us build our life together. (not that his finances are that bad) Here are ... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend pay rent when the mortgage is in my name?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years will be moving in with me soon and I'm not sure if he should pay 'rent' because the mortgage in my name only. I don't like the idea of him paying 'rent' but it would be nice it he contributed some. Is that fair? I'm not ...
A. 3 April 2008: Everyone's comments have been very helpful. I didn't consider a lot of things.
He isn't strapped for cash right now, so I know he will be able to afford to pay rent and still handle his own finances (he pays rent now in an apartment) I would like... (read in full...)
I'm black, he's white. HE still to this day hides our relationship from his parents whom he still lives with. He says they are racist.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years I am 26 he is 25. I met him right after a previous serious relationship with a person I had a child with. My daugther was three months old when we met through work and we hit it off really well. ...
A. 3 April 2008: Move on and cut your losses. Also, you need to ask yourself why you decided to stay with him for such a long time when he hid your relationship from his parents. Having racist parents is not an excuse. He sould have gotten out of their house and ... (read in full...)
Sex before marriage?
Q. Sex before marrige? ...
A. 2 April 2008: I think sex if okay before marriage if you are committed to the person. Don't have sex just because you want to know what it's like, or because you think everyone else is doing it. (trust me, they are not all doing it) 16 or 17 seems young to me, ... (read in full...)
How do I pursue a real relationship with a background like this?
Q. My problem is I have been meeting the wrong dudes since the 9th grade and all they wanted was sex. I was young and naive and just wanted to see what sex felt like so I ended up opening up my legs to a bunch of ugly horndogs. Then the whole school ...
A. 2 April 2008: You are not alone on this one. There a many people who did things in HS and College that they wish they could take back. (knew a guy who had sex with over 100 before the end of his sophmore year and now he is married w/ kids and seems happy) ... (read in full...)
How do I pursue a real relationship with a background like this?
Q. My problem is I have been meeting the wrong dudes since the 9th grade and all they wanted was sex. I was young and naive and just wanted to see what sex felt like so I ended up opening up my legs to a bunch of ugly horndogs. Then the whole school ...
A. 2 April 2008: You are not alone on this one. There a many people who did things in HS and College that they wish they could take back. (knew a guy who had sex with over 100 before the end of his sophmore year and now he is married w/ kids and seems happy) ... (read in full...)
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