A
female
age
30-35,
*assie
writes:My problem is I have been meeting the wrong dudes since the 9th grade and all they wanted was sex. I was young and naive and just wanted to see what sex felt like so I ended up opening up my legs to a bunch of ugly horndogs. Then the whole school find out and yes rumors were spread about me and stuff then having people say such mean things about me when they dont even know me was wrong so then I became really depressed I began to hate myself. I have learned from that mistake now that I'm older I want a real relationship not one night stands or 5 minute hits in bathrooms or restrooms from dudes who apprantley has no morals for themselves if they give their self to everyone either. How do I pursue a real relationship with a background like this? Will people look at me as easy then go to the next girl? But to assure anyone I am not the same person that I was back then!!!
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female
reader, vsnod +, writes (2 April 2008):
 You are not alone on this one. There a many people who did things in HS and College that they wish they could take back. (knew a guy who had sex with over 100 before the end of his sophmore year and now he is married w/ kids and seems happy) First off, wait to have sex. Second, demand respect. If a guy is pressuring you for sex, then he is probably the kind of guy who will leave once he gets what he wants, so drop him! Wait untill you know each other before having sex and talk about sex with the guy before you have it. If you can't do that, you know you are not ready to have sex with him. When you have the talk, you don't have to give exact numbers, you can tell him that you were a wild child and have since settled down, etc.
A
female
reader, vsnod +, writes (2 April 2008):
You are not alone on this one. There a many people who did things in HS and College that they wish they could take back. (knew a guy who had sex with over 100 before the end of his sophmore year and now he is married w/ kids and seems happy) First off, wait to have sex. Second, demand respect. If a guy is pressuring you for sex, then he is probably the kind of guy who will leave once he gets what he wants, so drop him! Wait untill you know each other before having sex and talk about sex with the guy before you have it. If you can't do that, you know you are not ready to have sex with him. When you have the talk, you don't have to give exact numbers, you can tell him that you were a wild child and have since settled down, etc.
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A
female
reader, kassie +, writes (2 April 2008):
kassie is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks guys you are all so helpful!!!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2008):
 Hi kassie, you seem to have a good handle on your situation, and I think actually that you will be just fine. You're going to have to realize that changing your image is going to take some time, but if you stay consistent and don't react to the jibes or teasing, you probably have a really good chance at success.
Tell your girlfriends that you regret your past indiscretions with these 'horndogs' and that you intend not to do anything like that ever again. Then don't! The rumor mill at school is harsh, and can be very distressing, but eventually, if you stay bland and boring and ignore the awful guys, you'll fall lower in the priority of the gossip. Hopefully, your girlfriends will back you up on this, and they can help repair your damaged reputation.
All the best, and let us know later on how things are going.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): Another case of double standards. The guys were all studs and you were the easy lay? That's what they may say of you, but what does it say about them? They can't be in a different class to yourself if they all do the same sort of thing!It's quite simple really. You have to set yourself some higher standards. Don't have sex with a guy until you're absolutely sure of his intentions towards you. That may mean holding back for a couple of months or more, but word will soon get around that you're not the same girl that you once were, and the guys will be more respectful of you. It might also be useful if you can, to move within a different circle of people that don't know you or anything about your past.
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