| Latest articles: How pornographic material affects relationships
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2011: I want to weigh in on the debate that keeps coming up. My partner used to want me to imagine other girls during sex and I was never comfortable with this. In the end I agreed to try it out to help please her. I was always thinking of her though. I...
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What do I do? Everything seems to be falling apart, in spite of how much I love her...
Q. Hitting a very rough patch :( This is more of an account than an actual question but I'll appreciate any feedback that can be given. So I've reached a point where my gf is having serious doubts about our future together which is really saddening...
A. 29 April 2010: @chigirl
Thanks - making a final stand might be the answer. I think we should make clear the directions we want to go in and that she needs to come to grips with who I am (this is going to need more maturity on her part). After all, it doesn't ... (read in full...)
Setting limits on behaviour in a committed relationship
Q. I've been discussing an issue with my mate about setting boundaries to behaviour when out clubbing. He believes it's perfectly fine to let your girlfriend dance with other guys. I'm a bit more traditional in my thinking and worry about it sending...
A. 18 April 2010: After considering it all at much more length, I've come to the conclusion that it's fine if we are dancing amongst a group of people. For instance, when the dancefloor is packed with people it's fine to be dancing with others right? So as long as ... (read in full...)
Emotional cheating with the tourists.
Q. My gf is a tour guide and meets a lot of male tourists. She keeps in contact with them after they go back to their countries - using MSN etc. The problem is that it makes me feel uncomfortable for her to be sending photos of herself to them and ...
A. 13 April 2010: @Brunel
We have been together for 5 months now (more than a year if you count the LDR). I absolutely do not control her. She is free to make whatever decision is best for her. Yeah it's great that the tourists find her attractive and flirt to... (read in full...)
I don't trust her reassurances
Q. OK so my gf is a tour guide. The problem is that she meets a lot of guys that she keeps in contact with through msn etc. It's making me feel very jealous. Just tonight she was chatting to one guy from Egypt and he was starting to get very suggest...
A. 11 April 2010: My gf is a tour guide and meets a lot of male tourists. She keeps in contact with them after they go back to their countries - using MSN etc. The problem is that it makes me feel uncomfortable for her to be sending photos of herself to them and ... (read in full...)
I don't trust her reassurances
Q. OK so my gf is a tour guide. The problem is that she meets a lot of guys that she keeps in contact with through msn etc. It's making me feel very jealous. Just tonight she was chatting to one guy from Egypt and he was starting to get very suggest...
A. 11 April 2010: Thankyou anonymous! I think she needs to decide on how she is handling it. She could see how jealous I got tonight. The ball is in her court to wake up and realise before it's too late.... (read in full...)
Afraid to commit because she seems to have a tendency for flings
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl I met 4 months ago. Even though we were in college together, we weren't friends until recently when I reconnected with her on facebook. Since then we have been in touch via yahoo messanger and on the ...
A. 9 April 2010: Proceed with caution. But by all means if you feel in your heart that you could give it a go, then try. Just weigh up whether or not you would need to be constantly watching out for her actions. Would you trust her 100%?
If not, save yourself... (read in full...)
The longer I stay with him the more I am losing myself!
Q. Hi! All through my life I have never stomached asking other people for help or advice very well. I love to help other people more than anything. Satisfying other people and helping them through tough times always made me feel important...needed. ...
A. 9 April 2010: Unfortunately you need to make a final decision on what you want. Yes it's painful to watch someone so caring (someone that loves you) when you know your heart is no longer into the relationship. The longer you play this out, the more and more ... (read in full...)
She's talking to other men online...
Q. I caught my gf back on a dating website communicating with a guy living in the same city as us. I told her to stop using the website because I feel uncomfortable about her using it (who wouldn't?). The sad thing is that I sacrificed a lot...
A. 7 April 2010: @Illithid: thankyou! I will be sticking to my guns and have already started looking for an apartment elsewhere.
I simply don't trust her and she has the contract for our current apartment signed in her name...just now she's gotten it out because ... (read in full...)
She's talking to other men online...
Q. I caught my gf back on a dating website communicating with a guy living in the same city as us. I told her to stop using the website because I feel uncomfortable about her using it (who wouldn't?). The sad thing is that I sacrificed a lot...
A. 7 April 2010: To both contributers,
Yes it's ridiculous. Her excuse is that she already has me and that she is only meeting this guy for a simple chat because she wants to use him to get information about his science job here in China to aid me in looking ... (read in full...)
Trying to get respect from girlfriend...
Q. OK so my main gripe is that my gf likes to continually call me out on "being an idiot" in her words. It's starting to frustrate me but I try to keep my cool so that she can't see it having an effect on me. Take last night for instance, she st...
A. 4 April 2010: @anonymous
Thanks for the reply. I've been concerned that things are only going to get worse.
Last night was a classic example. I told her I would leave the office at 6 to get to her by 6:30. So she went ahead and bought tickets to a movie to sur... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend keep using dating sites, when we are supposed to be serious about each other?
Q. Ugh! I'm sick and tired of trying to deal with problems. I cannot begin to tell you the feeling I have of possibly knowing that I could be sharing my girlfriend... Why say that? Because I found out that whilst I was away in HK she had gone back to...
A. 29 March 2010: After talking to her, she tried to 'reassure' me that she has never met any of the guys and never will. I don't fully believe the last part. She says it's all for fun and that she will tell me about each friend. What a joke. I asked her to stop ... (read in full...)
I sometimes feel that I cannot breathe with my boyfriend...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for four months today. Over the course of these four months, we've become very close, inseperable. Constantly needing each other. But before him, I was in a year long relationship that did a lot of damage to me emo...
A. 28 March 2010: Hmmm. Well I can't provide a lot of advice about carrying baggage from previous relationships (I'm in my first serious relationship at the moment). But I have a problem of sometimes finding it hard to trust my gf. There's small things she's done ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is spending the night in a house alone with this flirt!
Q. OK now my girlfriend who is 20 years old, she is in costa rica for internship and staying with a host family. Now the host family is really nice but she has told me that the host father is a flirt. He is a nice guy but at times he would hug her or ...
A. 28 March 2010: Well, for starters be careful. Having said that, I'm sure your girlfriend is capable of standing up for herself. I'm surprised that she 'went along' with the touching. That's completely unacceptable from a married man and she is supposed to be in a ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to cheat?
Q. I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but nowadays it seems like it has become completely acceptable (and inevitable) that if you are in a relationship your partner is deffinately going to cheat. You see all these poor humilliated women in the m...
A. 28 March 2010: "Some marriages i understand can become ''boring'' when there are financial problems or lives revolve around the children, but if you can't handle someone at their worst you don't deserve them at their best and certainly don't deserve a second ... (read in full...)
Success With Squirting
Q. Lila here~ If you’ve been listening to our radio show you may remember that I’ve been on a mission for a couple of months now. I’ve been trying to squirt, with little success… until this morning. Pinkee reviewed a DVD in January called “Nina Hea...
A. 28 March 2010: Congrats!
I've been able to get my partner to gush every now and then using oral sex - just using the tongue to stimulate the clitoris can be enough to make it occur. Thanks for the info about stimulating the sides.
You let your partner ent... (read in full...)
Advice on oral sex techniques
Q. Need some advice on better oral sex techniques. The problem is that I used to be able to get my girlfriend to cum fairly easily. She explained that it's hard for her to do it so the oral sessions would last up to 40mins. She used to ask me if my ...
A. 28 March 2010: Thanks for all of the advice! Well one week without me had her really excited to get me into bed :)
This time was definitely the quickest I've been able to get her close to orgasm. Using the tongue to work around her sensitive areas and lips (an... (read in full...)
Advice on oral sex techniques
Q. Need some advice on better oral sex techniques. The problem is that I used to be able to get my girlfriend to cum fairly easily. She explained that it's hard for her to do it so the oral sessions would last up to 40mins. She used to ask me if my ...
A. 23 March 2010: Things are never as simple as they seem. I agree with all of the posters that I have been a bit boring and predictable as of late. The trouble is I try to be romantic and do lots of nice things for her but it's hard to get her into the mood. When ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend went beserk
Q. Exhausted and tired of being so stressed out. I came to China to teach English but have come close to running out of money. It looks like I might have to leave in the next 3 weeks if I can't secure work. There's still a good chance that I can get ...
A. 10 March 2010: Quiet-echo:
This was not meant to be a journal nor was I asking for approval to perpetuate a toxic cycle. I was simply telling what happened and asking for advice. I received that advice and have decided to act upon it.
I felt extremely bad fo... (read in full...)
Girlfriend went beserk
Q. Exhausted and tired of being so stressed out. I came to China to teach English but have come close to running out of money. It looks like I might have to leave in the next 3 weeks if I can't secure work. There's still a good chance that I can get ...
A. 10 March 2010: Humidity here occassionally makes the apartment mouldy...it had nothing to do with the mess :P... (read in full...)
Girlfriend went beserk
Q. Exhausted and tired of being so stressed out. I came to China to teach English but have come close to running out of money. It looks like I might have to leave in the next 3 weeks if I can't secure work. There's still a good chance that I can get ...
A. 10 March 2010: I was harbouring a lot of resentment from what she did to me and trying to decide if I should move on. I vowed to try and forgive her last night. But this afternoon things boiled over when they shouldn't have. I sent her a text asking her if sh... (read in full...)
Girlfriend went beserk
Q. Exhausted and tired of being so stressed out. I came to China to teach English but have come close to running out of money. It looks like I might have to leave in the next 3 weeks if I can't secure work. There's still a good chance that I can get ...
A. 9 March 2010: An update on things:
I felt that what I did was wrong because I turned my phone off and stayed out late (the mate it turns out, is a bit of a player). I left her alone in the apartment (she's not a child so it shouldn't matter)...and yes I shou... (read in full...)
Confusion over where we are headed
Q. Since moving in together 4 months ago (I moved to China from Australia and we found an apartment after 1 month together - prior to that we kept up a long distance relationship for about 8 months; we met when I was on tour in China; she's 23 and I'm ...
A. 23 February 2010: In China respect is is more important than love. Act in a way that she can respect you.
I have to agree with that sentiment. We've had arguments over things like cleanliness. She's very lazy and expects a 'man who can cook and clean'. My cooking ... (read in full...)
She is away in a foreign country and I'm scared she is cheating.
Q. Firstly, a bit of background about my SO and how we met: I visited China about 1 year ago and met a nice tour guide. At the time she told me she was living with her cousin (later I found out she was still living with her ex but they weren't getting ...
A. 19 February 2010: Thanks for the advice angzw!
I was massively overreacting and should never have put my gf's intentions under scrutiny. I woke up to the fact that I've been acting very immature by not placing full trust in her - esp. as we have been living t... (read in full...)
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