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*erspicacious

United Kingdom  (Male   XML/RSS

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*erspicacious's profile:

I'm 39 and live in the north of England.

I have 2 children, a lovely girlfriend (and a less than lovely ex-wife!), and have experienced many of the ups and downs that life throws at us.

If you have want some advice it is usually better to ask on the main site - the link is below.

Some people do like to contact me privately for advice, which is ok and I do try and answer all questions I get that way. But, please remember it may take me time to reply (perhaps a day or two) whereas posting on the main site will hopefully get you some good answers much much quicker!

< Prev123 [3 pages, 90 answers]

He's cheated on me for the 2nd time in 16 months! We have a young daughter together. What am I going to do?

Q.   A year ago I found out that my partner had been cheating on me. We talked things through and I decided to give the relationship another go, only now 16 months later he is at it again. I had a feeling something was going on but like the last tim...

A.   12 August 2009: I don't think it really matters if he had sex with this woman or not. Going on a date while in a committed relationship with you is completely unacceptable and cheating, so gaining a confession doesn't achieve much. This isn't the first time, so w... (read in full...)

Before I send this text message to my ex, would you guys tell me what you think? Feel free to edit!

Q.   I've had enough of my ex who keeps delaying his payment of debt to me. So I am sending him a final text message. The message is exactly like this: You know, I am forced to let go of your debt. Coz I realized, if you want to pay me, you had p...

A.   12 August 2009: It really depends on how much money he owes you and if you can afford to write it off. Though choosing to write it off like this is an unusual step to take I think it could be a valid one if you can afford to do so and trying to get him to pay i... (read in full...)

I want to stop masturbating permenantly. Can you give me any advice on how to stop?

Q.   I have been masturbating 4 4yrs now and i want 2 stop bcos i have seen the conseqences. But how do i stop? I have tried 2 stop many times, sometimes it last 4 a months or weeks but i want 2 stop it permanently. So pls help me with advice....

A.   12 August 2009: Masturbation is perfectly normal human behaviour so I am puzzled as to the consequences you have "seen"! If you are masturbating an excessive amount (for example several times a day) then you may be developing a sex addiction for which you shou... (read in full...)

I've been cheating on my wife because she won't blow me.

Q.   Hi. my problem is i love blow jobs so so much but my wife doesn't like to give them (she says it hurts her mouth too much cos I'm quite big, which i don't think i am) i have even on a few occasions gone else where for them but would like to receive ...

A.   11 August 2009: Blow jobs are great. But, so are plenty of other things. You need to ask yourself why you are obsessing over this one act. If your wife doesn't like them then forget about it and find other things that you both enjoy instead.... (read in full...)

Is delusion and Denial the only answer?

Q.   Is delusion and denial the only answer? Let me start by saying that I wouldn't consider myself remarkably good-looking, I have no confidence, and the women I'm interested in don't ever seem to be interested in me (probably because they're above my...

A.   11 August 2009: There's no denying that physical attraction plays an important role early on in a relationship. But what makes someone physically attractive? Every one asked would give a different answer to that. It doesn't matter if you are tall, short, dark hai... (read in full...)

What's the proper thing to do about previously shared furnishings when moving in with a man?

Q.   When you move in with your man, isn't it bad sexual karma if you don't buy a new set of sheets, new pillow cases, new comforter for the bed you are planning to share -- especially if the old sheets, old comforter and pillowcases were shared by the ...

A.   11 August 2009: They are just objects at the end of the day, but if they make you feel uncomfortable then get them changed! However, a bigger question is why move in with someone who hasn't got over their ex? That sounds like a recipe for disaster to me!... (read in full...)

He's making excuses and I'm sick of it! How can I tell him this without ruining anything?

Q.   okay so this guy and i like eachother, we aren't dating because he doesn't want to rush...we have had these feelings for about a month! we have already had sex twice...i feel like this is going nowhere and that i am wasting my time...i don't want ...

A.   11 August 2009: You like this guy. He doesn't want to date you, and keeps standing you up. You don't want to rush things, but you let him use you for sex anyway. Never mind making him respect you - you need to respect yourself and realise that you need to end t... (read in full...)

What are signs of a good marriage? And what are the signs that it's time to leave a marriage?

Q.   What do you think when is a marriage not worth it anymore? When do you think it;s time to leave? ANd what are the signs,if your marriage is a good one?...

A.   11 August 2009: Every marriage is different and unique, because people are all different and unique. Indeed, what makes one marriage "good" could be hated by plenty of other people! Therefore it is impossible to give a definition of a good marriage except i... (read in full...)

We're both married, its been 10 years, why is Ex contacting me now?

Q.   Hello, A couple of days ago, my ex-girlfriend (Girl-A) sent me a message through my Facebook account. Here is our background story: Girl-A and I dated for about six months, ten years ago. I broke up with her to date Girl-B, who later broke up ...

A.   11 August 2009: I suspect her getting in touch is just an innocent "I wonder how he is doing?" moment on her part. As you say, it is so easy to type names in to facebook and send a message that the temptation to look up names from the past is too much for many ... (read in full...)

He said he wanted a girlfriend but when he came bacl home, he changed his mind. why??

Q.   i started talking to a boy 7 weeks ago on the internet. he is in the army based abroad but doesnt live that far from me back home. we were chatting every night and started to like each other alot. he has just come back home for 3 weeks and i met him ...

A.   10 August 2009: When we chat online with someone we are only getting part of the picture of who they are. So, our imaginations fill in those blanks and it is pretty normal (especially when we are away from home or feeling lonely) for our minds to do so by making ... (read in full...)

My husband won't french kiss me! What can I do?

Q.   My husband has never french kiss me. He just have sex with me. I feel very lonely and rejected. He says he will never french kiss any women. He works hard and help me around the house a lot. He keeps our house up good. we have one grown daughter...

A.   10 August 2009: Some people like to dress up from head to toe in leather, whip each other senseless and then have sex. Of course, some people don't! Some people like to french kiss, and then again some others don't. If it's not your husbands thing then that's ... (read in full...)

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