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What are signs of a good marriage? And what are the signs that it's time to leave a marriage?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 August 2009)
A female New Zealand age 36-40, anonymous writes:

What do you think when is a marriage not worth it anymore?

When do you think it;s time to leave?

ANd what are the signs,if your marriage is a good one?

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A male reader, Perspicacious United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2009):

Every marriage is different and unique, because people are all different and unique. Indeed, what makes one marriage "good" could be hated by plenty of other people!

Therefore it is impossible to give a definition of a good marriage except in the most general of terms such as:

A good marriage is a relationship where both people are working together to achieve shared aims, and enjoy sharing their lives with each other.

When we get married we bring to it a host of hopes and expectations. Some are obvious such as "we will be faithful to each other" and "we won't hurt each other." Others are more internal to each person / couple, for example "we will have a large family". And some are just unrealistic, such as "we will never argue!"

You could therefore say a "bad marriage" is one where the hopes and expectations that we had of it have not been met (where those hopes were realistic in the first place) and we find no reason to believe that the hopes and expectations we have of it now are likely to be met in the future.

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A female reader, DearCassy United States +, writes (10 August 2009):

DearCassy agony auntI thnk some signs of a good marriage is open lines of communication,trust,lots of intimacy(different kinds besides sex),and when you can talk things out and not make them into big arguments.Some signs that it's time to leave is physical/emotional abuse,lack of trust,no communication or when talking about relationship issues or other things is usually avoided,distance from each other(emotionally and physically),fights about little issues that usually would not make a big deal.Hope I helped,even though I'm young.

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