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... Send *allenman a private message | | | *allenman's profile:I have 14 years of counsellor training & practice, I also have had 6 years of personal counselling and I am supervised by a senior counsellor in my organsation.
I live on the south coast of the UK and I practice counselling part time along with my part time self-employment. I have a desire to help others where possible, to resolve pain and suffering that are the key drivers for depression and suicide.
I am married and have two teenage children. |
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Two online interests...how can I make her see she choose the wrong one?
Q. I know it sounds lame, but I somehow got into an online relationship with this great girl. Ive never done it before, it happened by accident, but it was going great for a while. We talked almost every day. We made each other laugh, seemed to connect ...
A. 29 September 2006: I suggest you read a copy of Women Who Love Too Much (Paperback)by Robin Norwood ISBN: 0099474123. And in the meantime avoid this one like the plague.... (read in full...)
Happy in relationship, but can't get pleasure from sex!
Q. Hi.. I'm 16, been with my boyfriend for a year and half. I love him very much and we both lost our virginity to eachother. He's now 19. I'm really happy in this relationship, but the only thing that gets me is that I don't get pleasure in sex at a...
A. 29 September 2006: I have had this problem and found a way that worked for me, is to mount him on top, so that you are knelling over him, in that way you can control the thrusting as he will be mostly static, at the same time he can rub your clitoris with some KY gel ... (read in full...)
He tells me he's very happy with me one minute and then says 'something is missing" the next. What does he mean?
Q. I've been seeing my current boyfriend for 5 months. He's in his late thirties but hasn't had many girlfriends before me. We have a lovely time together, never argue, and have both been very happy until recently. Now he tells me he suffers from ...
A. 29 September 2006: Love is impossible to judge in percentage terms. Him may be judging is emotional reaction to you. Love is not a feeling or an emotion we can judge because love is a reciprical movement between two people. You can love more or less its either love or ... (read in full...)
Should i meet my work mates nephew?? I have concerns about the age gap!
Q. Should i meet my work mates nephew???? Hey Guys hope some one can help! im a 19 yr old female (single) recently in a conversation in work i mentioned that id like to meet mr right and settle into a relationship as most of my friends have boyfr...
A. 28 September 2006: It sounds to me like you are not interested in arranged blind dates. Good for you! It takes courage but I would tell your workmate that you don't do blind dates and can catch your own fish when your ready. At 19 your nowhere near being put on the ... (read in full...)
Why is it so hard to move on after broken relationship?
Q. Why is it so hard to move on from a broken marriage / relationship? Thought of ex with new partner is soul destroying. Why is it so tough to let go?...
A. 28 September 2006: It depends somewhat on who leaves who, if you are the one that was dumped then the feeling of rejection / betrayal and loss are significant, and in a way similar to a grieving process.
... (read in full...)
He orgasms too quickly--I have trouble getting orgasm...how can we solve this problem?
Q. My bf used to do coke and other class A drugs, and although he's now clean it's taken it's toll on his body and he often has trouble during sex. Sometimes he just comes so quickly I haven't even realised that we'd started. I tend to let him do all ...
A. 28 September 2006: One way I can suggest is to let him bring you to near orgasm with his fingers and then to have intercourse.
Another way is to mount him on top so that you can control the
the thrusting as he will be static, at the same time he can rub your cli... (read in full...)
We broke up because she cheated and now..she ignores me! I still care for her..what can I do?
Q. What should I do me and my girlfreind broke up about 3 weeks ago. Well to start out she has cheated on me twice before when she was really drunk. She kissed two guys. She broke up with me first saying she felt like there was not a spark anymore. ...
A. 28 September 2006: Going on what you say may be you need to look at your motives for wanting the relationship to go on.... (read in full...)
Sex was painful for me and he wouldn't stop! Was this rape?
Q. my boyfriend in i were having sex and towards the end i asked him to stop because it was uncomfitable and painfull. i have always found penitration uncomfitable and some time painfull he said that he was at the piont of no return when we talked ...
A. 28 September 2006: Rape is a complex legal situation in England and Wales so the definition depends on where you live. In general terms as you were both consenting to intercourse and the initial penetration was with consent, it would be a matter of judgement if the ... (read in full...)
Explain to me what I am feeling with this new partner? Is it love or friendship?
Q. I have split up after being married for over 12 years. I can't tell If I am in love or just great friends with a new partner. Does love have to be that you would die if you did not see the person or can it just be that you enjoy their company but ...
A. 27 September 2006: Love is not an emotion nor is it a feeling, love is a movement of acceptance of another. Love is the reciprical vulnerability of intimacy (In To Me See).
Love also is not fully exposed in the early months or years of a relationship.
Love ca... (read in full...)
33 and torn between two men, past and present!
Q. Hi All I've posted questions about this "lurve" problem before, but I still need some help... I fell madly in love with a neighbour - we knew each other as friends for 3 months, and then got together. We were both totally smitten with each other....
A. 27 September 2006: Being a bloke I cannot claim to know how you feel about finding another partner if this one falls apart. From what you say about your ill ex although you feel rejected, is this really true? Could it also be true that he has had a devestating life ... (read in full...)
My girl suffers with depression and bulimia, I support her every step, but she keeps pushing me out!!
Q. Hello. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend back in December to date a new girl i know from work. It was not a clean break on my part with my ex and if i am being honest i liked the security she was offering me by wanting to stay and sort things out, i ...
A. 27 September 2006: Has she been medically diagnosed as suffering Bulimia and depression? If so unless you are a trained psychotheraptist you will not have a lot of success. Bulimia can point to deep psychological problems and may been responible for the depression ... (read in full...)
Do I have any parental responsibility ?
Q. my first child was born one month before me and my ex wife got married(1994), we have been divorced since jan 2006. do i have parental responsibility?....
A. 27 September 2006: If you are the blood parent of the child, then you are the parental father, however the issue of parential responsibility may be an issue between you and your ex wife or you and the court. If your ex-wife has full custody of your child then in ... (read in full...)
What would you do, if you knew a teenager was hitting his mum ?
Q. what would you do if you knew that a teenager was hitting his mother ...
A. 27 September 2006: Warn him that he can be arrested for bodily harm, if it persits call the police and get him arrested.... (read in full...)
Clingy 11-month old?
Q. my 11month olddaughter has become very clingy i she has got to be by my side all of the time any advice please on how to helpbreak this dependancy with me....
A. 27 September 2006: insecurity in young children is very common, given the young age of your daughter I would suggest that she will grow out of this depenancy provided she is given an appropriate amount of tender loving care and security. ... (read in full...)
My child can be nasty to others for no reason, what can I try to calm her ?
Q. My child keeps hurting other children for apparently no reason. I use warnings, naughty step, etc. but she carries on. What shall I do?...
A. 27 September 2006: Her behavour appears anti social, not knowing how old she is it is difficult to give advice. Any labling of a condition can cause more harm than good. My suggestion is to visit your GP to get your daughter checked out. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my mum being so controlling and stopping me from living with my brother ?
Q. Hi everyone, i have a serious and important question that i need advise. Im 20 and i been together with my bf for 3mo but been best friends since 8th grade. Recently back in june my mom and me got into a huge fight and she kicked me out but i was ...
A. 27 September 2006: To give any advice you need to explain more about what you and your mum fight over.
Your within your rights to move out and live with who you choose. The police may able to help, but a court injunction against your mum contacting you may be the f... (read in full...)
My first lesbian relationship has ended, now it seems she is playing mindgames. Its screwing my head up, please help
Q. Please I need some advice. Until my last r/ship I have always been straight, but I ended up very close to a female friend who is a lesbian and ended up with her. I moved away from family and friends to be with her, we moved near her family. Anyway 8 ...
A. 26 September 2006: Is it possible the very thing your friend is trying to do i.e. avoid saying goodbye because it may be to painful to either or both of you, is the very thing that is creating a painful break up.
You could try to confront her to give you a definite... (read in full...)
How can I get over things I did in my pre-teens? I feel so ashamed and don't think I deserve to be happy.
Q. Ok, will someone please tell me ways to get over this or tell me about your embarassing things? When i was a kid. I know under 10, my mom babysat these 2 kids and there was a baby and i think he was sleeping. Well, i got on top and don't know if i ...
A. 26 September 2006: You are very brave to even anonymously declare what you know. The events you mention are not uncommon but the memmory of your involvement in these events appear to be distressing to you. The emotion of guilt you express can only be fixed in one way. ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a women who I work with, problem is she's already in a relationship and only sees me as a friend. Where do I go from here?
Q. I've fallen for a women who I work with, problem is she's already in a realtionship and only sees me as a friend. In the last couple of days she ended her relationship and I was planning in the next week or 2 once she'd got over it, to tell her ...
A. 26 September 2006: Relationships are / should be a two way interaction. If the lady concerned has not made any attempt to show she is interested in you, you may be on a hiding to nothing.
My suggestion is not to take the first flush of emotions seriously, they can... (read in full...)
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