Followup: My bf who sends his old gf and her daughters large amounts of money...
Q. Yesterday I wrote a question and got several responces and I want to first thank those who responded. There were a couple questions posed by those respondants so I want to clarify and see if that helps. First, for those that didnt see yesterdays ...
A. 16 April 2007: oh dear how very sad that your man has to keep up this pretence.sounds like he must be filling some sad space in his heart.does he really believe you should accept this set up?do you really think its worth losing him over this?perhaps hes not ... (read in full...)
He hid the truth, then confessed and said we can work it out as he loved me,then slammed in my face he couldnt be with me as I have kids by someone else and now hes going to try for kids with his wife! Help! He was the centre of my world!
Q. Suffering low self esteem and married to a bully eventually we divorced. I have two girls, one of whom had cancer - and now well! My husband was my first and only partner until I met Nick at a singles party, who told me he was recently seperated. We ...
A. 16 April 2007: i totally agree with every bit of advice youve had so far.you are a strong,good decent woman.these sociapaths get inside your brain and rot your senses.we cannot change into them(nasty liars,sociapathic bullies)anymore than they can change into ... (read in full...)
Bf says he hates his ex gf..but how come he still takes her out for meals? What's going on here?
Q. hey i could really use some advice. Ive been seeing this guy for a few months and we had to keep our relationship secret as he was living with his ex gf. however she found out and appeared fine with. The thing i dont understand is that he told me ...
A. 16 April 2007: why the hell has your relationship been kept a secret who from and why????have you met her??i think hes stringing both of you along and sorry to say it the next thing is youll probably be finding out is that they are still sleeping together.one way ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to leave me for his ex! I am so hurt as I love him so much-please help!
Q. My husband wants to leave me for his ex! My husband has an ex girlfriend that he dated when she was just 14-18 and I guess from what he says,they had alot of good memories together and also some bad one's. My husband and I have been together fo...
A. 16 April 2007: first let me say how i sympathize with you.this must be a very hard time.i dont like the fact that your husband went on this website in the first place.what was he really looking for?ask him what it is that he wants from her that you havent got ... (read in full...)
My ex bf told my new guy, I was only in this relationship for the sex and that he should back off! What's my ex bf's game?
Q. My ex bf and I broke up in October, but we have a habit of having sex everytime we meet up, and we're still really good friends. Now he's finally going out with a girl he's been pursuing for months so we're not having sex, but he introduced me t his ...
A. 16 April 2007: sounds like your ex is a tad jealous he hasnt got you there to use anymore.the fact hes spreading this stuff around should show everyone why hes your ex including you but unfortunately life isnt like that.tell him to back off from your new fella.he ... (read in full...)
I want to date him again as I feel hes changed, but I dont want my friends and family to be cross, any advice what to do ?
Q. My problem is really confusing, I was goin with my BF for 18months bt we broke up jus over a year ago, the last three months we've been seeing each other a couple times a week and have been gettin on really well. I think were kind of planning on ...
A. 16 April 2007: you are living your life for YOU and not your friends or your family.you are still young and unless this guy has been a total pig violent,abusive etc.then the choice is yours.remember youll only be hiding this relationship because deep down perhaps ... (read in full...)
I didnt like her still being in contact with the ex so I broke up, now I have the chance to date her again, but the ex is still there! What can I do ?
Q. Last year I went out with this woman for 8 months. 2 things caused us to split up. The fact that she keeps in touch with an ex-boyfriend and secondly she moved away because of a job. 9 months on, and she started texting me again, saying she is ...
A. 16 April 2007: oh boy do i know where you are coming from.im in a similar set up with my boyfriend only they have a child together and he relies on her every time something goes wrong and it drives me mental.anyway i can tell you from 3yrs of experience that you ... (read in full...)
I love him but I feel like I am the other woman in this case because he still has another relationship
Q. I was in a relationship for 12 years. We been seperated for 7 months. We both went different ways and had other relationships. Mines ended, so my baby daddy that I had been with for 12 years came back in the picture. We talked and talked he told me ...
A. 12 April 2007: please listen to your gut instincts.it simply doesnt take this long to finish a relationship and be with someone you are supposed to love???have you told him how much hes hurting you?give it one last try and then let him go.you were fine before he ... (read in full...)
I love him but I feel like I am the other woman in this case because he still has another relationship
Q. I was in a relationship for 12 years. We been seperated for 7 months. We both went different ways and had other relationships. Mines ended, so my baby daddy that I had been with for 12 years came back in the picture. We talked and talked he told me ...
A. 11 April 2007: the time this man is taken to 'finish'the other relationship has gone way and beyond the call of duty.maybe a couple of days at the most.maybe a few teary phonecalls from her afterwards.no honey hes just hedging his bets.he probably likes the fact ... (read in full...)
How can I trust him? Is he seeing someone else?
Q. i am having mixed feelings about my ex he has told me that we are working on our relationship. He knows that if he gets in a bind that i always back him up.but when it comes to his feelings he wont be open with me, if i called him to do something ...
A. 11 April 2007: yes i agree with eve you need to give your ex some space after all he is your ex for a reason.is it you that always contacts him.then i would say stop.youll know soon enough if he really want to see you or not.i wouldnt read too much into the fact ... (read in full...)
Did I do something terribly wrong by lying when I know I did not have bad intentions?
Q. Hi. I have been seeing a guy for 2-3 years now, on and off. our relationship has been very rocky. lots of fighting, arguing and breaking up over silly things. we care an incredible deal for eachother adn love eachother very much but find that our ...
A. 3 April 2007: very very confusing.you sound quite slapdash about the effect this has all had on your fella.the situation with the this other guy should really have ground to a halt if you had good honest intentions of getting back with your fella.what was the ... (read in full...)
How do I convince her that I don't "need" her?
Q. My girlfriend, who I am very much in love with, hates the feeling of being "needed" by anyone other than her 3yr old daughter. I completely understand why that would be. My question is: How do I convince her that I don't "need" her, I "want" he...
A. 3 April 2007: sounds like she has intimacy issues?she seems to be very afraid of being used by a man.perhaps her ex treated her badly and used her.do you have any idea why they finished?
if things get really confusing why dont you write her a simple note... (read in full...)
Im finding it hard to read him, is it time to say goodbye!?
Q. I am a little confused right now and know that I can get good insight here. I have been friends with this guy for about a year and a half and we have been getting closer in the past couple of months. I have been trying to hold off on having sex with ...
A. 3 April 2007: youve been honest and you werent ready to go further.he has a few drinks sends you an email then cowers away when you tell him you are ready???on the plus side maybe hes got cold feet now and has become wary of you?it might be an idea if you arrange ... (read in full...)
Dating 3 weeks, we want to have a baby!! But whats considered the right time to move in together!?
Q. ok let me start this out by saying i'm 24 nearly 25 in june and my new girl is 20 nearly 21 in september we've been dateing for 3 weeks nearly a month and i've slept with her once. she's stayed at my house twice and we didn't do nofthing the fir...
A. 3 April 2007: sorry to say this but the fact youre asking such questions tells me that you definetly are not ready to have children.someone can have sex once and get pregnant.the fact that you have doubts already about this girl shows you arent ready and neither ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to get back with me, but his friend claims my ex cheated when with me, did he only say that to get with me instead ?
Q. I dated this guy for a year and recently broke up with him because he had lied to me about drugs and things like that and I couldn't get over it. Anyway I hung out with his best friend a couple nights ago and his best friend (of more than 10 years) ...
A. 3 April 2007: if you got back with your ex not only would you still have to see if hed changed from being a liar etc but youd also have to carry the pain of not knowing if he slept with your roomate.no1.what sort of best friend dishes up dirt like this about his ... (read in full...)
He emailed her and arranged to meet! When confronted he said it was just to see who she was! Is this cheating?
Q. A woman on myspace was sending my husband emails. She would tell him how she would like to meet him. One day he went to a local computer store to email her and in the email he gave her his work phone number so she could call him. He changed his ...
A. 3 April 2007: how utterly horrible.so the minute youve got problems hes arranging secret meetings with an unknown women.the fact he put this before your sons hospital app.is sickening enough.why wasnt he embarrased saying hes goin to the gym?you should have let ... (read in full...)
We have been dating for 2 yrs things in the main are good, but then he makes me feel second best! Please help!
Q. hi i have a huge problem i need advice please. i've been dating this 43 yr olf guy 4 2yrs now we have loads in common and get on really well but lately he has gone very laidback he puts everything b4 me and it hurts me very much . it was my birthday ...
A. 3 April 2007: has your fella been promising to marry you or mentioned anything about settling down even?how long has his mum and daughter been living with him?i think alot of men set out to impress at the start but sure enough they slip back to their old ways and ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating do you think... ? Or am I being too paranoid?
Q. I need some true help! My boyfriend of almost a year has suddenly begun to change his attitude towards me. I think he is cheating and I even know with who. I ask him about it and he just says that they hang out and I shouldnt "trip" on it. Pr...
A. 2 April 2007: how absolutely horrible for you.its the very low self esteem that you feels now thats allowing you to put up with this i know ive been there myself.he has found the weakness in you and is using it to exploit you.we wouldnt put up with our friends ... (read in full...)
I dont think my guy is telling me all the details about this woman thats calling him up!!
Q. I have this gut feeling that my BF is receiving calls from a womam he use to date - not that he is intersted, but I dont' think he's telling me all the details for fear that I'll get mad. He always tells me that he'll be honest and let me know if ...
A. 2 April 2007: oooohhh dear was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt till i read about him dissapearing to take a call.did he talk at all infront of you or did he dissapear the minute the number came up?like most of the answers i say look at his phone.men ... (read in full...)
His ex is making things so difficult for us, moving the kids, not allowing me to be anywhere near them etc.... Would I be stupid marrying him!?
Q. my soon to be husband's ex wife is driving me crazy. let me start by saying that we started by just being friends do to the fact that he was married. he would talk to be about there problems and that was all it was, was a friendship, one day he ...
A. 2 April 2007: this sounds like a real headache.cant he go to a solicitors and get some sort on injunction against her?why has she been allowed to stop her children being anywhere near you?i though you had to be harmful in some way?what proof has she got?ive been ... (read in full...)
He said he only slept with her because he was high! Is that really a valid reason ??
Q. My boyfriend slept with someone else! And now our relationship is over. I asked him why he did it and he said because he was high - Look, i know that alcohol and drugs can make you lose your inhibitions and judgement, but is this really a valid ...
A. 30 March 2007: the circumstance that led to him being alone and sleeping with someone else is what would wind me up the most.he obviously managed to get into a cab or whatever and get himself alone with her.it amazes me how they blame the drink etc for being out ... (read in full...)
We fought, split up and got back together a lot. The last split was final..how can I move on?
Q. How do I Move on with my Life After an Intense Relationship? I met this man last August and we soon became capitivated with each other. By September he had moved into my apartment. He is 9 years younger than myself. We are both going to the sam...
A. 30 March 2007: there was alot of up and downs in this relationship and you dont explain what you were fighting about?you mentioned you had a bad year perhaps you were taking out your problems on him and whilst youve been apart he had time to realise this.i know ... (read in full...)
My current BF has become uncomfortbale with me seeing my Ex, hes making me choose!!
Q. I have an ex bf whom I am friends with. We talk on the phone sometimes and have dinner or coffee sometimes. We have not been a couple for 6yrs. My current bf whom I have been with for 9months has a problem with my friendship with my ex. He feels ...
A. 30 March 2007: i totally agree with your boyfriend.while there nothing wrong with saying hi to an ex or a quick chat to see how there doing having your own seperate times out is totally out of order.you once slept with this person.whats to say you wont switch back ... (read in full...)
My ex keeps running away all the time, could it be that shes jealous ?
Q. My ex girlfriend lived with her friend for 5 years but when her friend was going to get married my ex got upset and ran to her other best friend, but now she is married she is running away again. What does this mean?she went to spain to escape came ...
A. 30 March 2007: are there other issues you arent dealing with.maybe for instance like why you are so bothered.all you can do is be there for her but concentrate on your like.if you want her back then tell her.if not concentrate on who YOU will meet and who YOU will ... (read in full...)
What did I do to my kids that they ditched me here?
Q. hello An old man told me I have worked hard for my family, I have done everything for them to have a good life and now I am old, I can't do that much and I need help. Nobody helps me, the kids are busy with life and I am here lonely in eldery h...
A. 30 March 2007: sorry that you are in this situation.have you got many friends where you are?hope you dont mind but just from your words it sounds like maybe you concentrated on what you were giving them material wise maybe they felt that you werent at home ... (read in full...)
Why does he tell me he loves me one minute then 4 days later, wants nothing more to do with me???
Q. I recently split with my boyfriend of three years as he cheated on me and he begged me to take him back, i said no. He then said can we at least be friends as it would break his heart if we couldn't. Then for days later he told me he had met someone ...
A. 30 March 2007: why do so many people(especially guys)jump headlong into another relationship so quickly?i think some people just cant handle the pain of rejection and run to someone to take their mind off it and boost their ego.what on earth is he talking about ... (read in full...)
My partner has just brought his ex a new house! Hes always doing things for her and the kids, and I feel like they will get back together, he says not, but its hard to trust with the history!!
Q. All, Can I ask your advice on something?. I have been with my partner for a couple of years. He has two grown up children, only one lives at home though. He has just sold his house and is buying his ex a new one (alright for some). My problem is he...
A. 28 March 2007: you will get stronger. it takes a bloody long time for some of us girlies but most of us get there in the end.it so nice to hear how strong you are starting to feel.it must be utterly devastating to have the fact he slept with her in the back of ... (read in full...)
He left me and our little daughter! I'm a mess..how do I cope?
Q. hi my partner has just left me after 4 years together we have a 2 year old daughter as well.. i just cant seem to cope im lonly i love him so much and i would do any thing to have him back he rang the other nite saying he regrets it and wants to ...
A. 28 March 2007: me again darling.i know how you feel.i read your follow up reply and it struck so many chords with me.ive been through exactly the same.you know what if you try and act like you are ok in a funny way you may start to believe everything will be ... (read in full...)
He left me and our little daughter! I'm a mess..how do I cope?
Q. hi my partner has just left me after 4 years together we have a 2 year old daughter as well.. i just cant seem to cope im lonly i love him so much and i would do any thing to have him back he rang the other nite saying he regrets it and wants to ...
A. 27 March 2007: i think your partner owes you alot more on the explanation front.hes dropped a bombshell on you.i know that your daughter is only 2yrs old but doesnt she deserve some sort of idea as to where dads gone?after all hes dumped this on your shoulders ... (read in full...)
He says he wants back with me but is dating another girl! What can we do?
Q. my first boyfriend and i split up about 2 years ago and i got talking to him the other day and he told me that he loves me and he always has but the problem is he has been dating this girl i no since we split. He wants me back and i want him back ...
A. 24 March 2007: sounds to me like hes using you and probably all the other girls hes known as some sort of human stepping stone.why is it men cant have a break?they seem so scared of being on their own.tell him to see if he can spend a few weeks on his own.talk to ... (read in full...)
How can I get on with my life and be happy like he is?
Q. we had been together for 5 yrs we lived together for 2 years before i got married before we was married i fell pregnant i got married in the july and ad the baby in oct and i found out he bin cheating i kicked him out in the january its bin a yr now ...
A. 24 March 2007: first of all well done.i admire you for having the strength to have kicked him out.the fact he didnt grovel on bended knee proves you did the right thing.i elbowed my ex when our child was 4yrs old.he was a serial cheat.the only regret ive got is ... (read in full...)
What do I do about loving a man who is in an unhappy marriage and stays in it for the sake of his child?
Q. i have known this man for a year and a half we are both sober. at first we were just friends. he was separated from his wife and has a small child. he moved back with her for the sake of the child and has been miserable. we have always been ...
A. 24 March 2007: this set up sounds really sad.even though you are attracted and want more you havent gone as far as to sleep with him.people with addictions usually swap one addiction for another.you sound strong enough for the next addiction not to be you.youve ... (read in full...)
Do you think that he slept with her, and just lied to me ?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for six months. Then today he tells me that he went out with a female friend of his and they went drinking and then he ended up sleeping at her place because it was late at night! I was a bit shocked at this ...
A. 23 March 2007: i think lias advic about going and seeing the girl is good advice.you can drive yourself round the bend swirling all the different scenes round in your head.word of warning though expect the worst from her ie.she lies,goes mad,laughs.anything else ... (read in full...)
I can see my Husband has changed, but I have met another guy, do I try counselling with him, or make a go with the new guy!?
Q. I was married for two years and have been separated for five months. My husband was verbally abusive and has anger issues, when I left the relationship I was very unhappy, to the point of being depressed. He was also very unhappy. During our ...
A. 23 March 2007: i think the fact that you have met another guy shows youve moved on.the fact that you become depressed means you turned the anger in on itself.so where is all that anger going to go once you see your husband again?i think it only fair that you tell ... (read in full...)
My partner has just brought his ex a new house! Hes always doing things for her and the kids, and I feel like they will get back together, he says not, but its hard to trust with the history!!
Q. All, Can I ask your advice on something?. I have been with my partner for a couple of years. He has two grown up children, only one lives at home though. He has just sold his house and is buying his ex a new one (alright for some). My problem is he...
A. 23 March 2007: hi there ive just read through your question one worrying aspect is the fact his kids are grown up.i think it would be alot more understandable if the were younger.they are probably pretty much off hand so why so much involvement with her?suggest to ... (read in full...)
I want him back and I love him so much, but I broke it off as he always ends up hurting me!!
Q. I finished with my boyfriend but now I want him back. The reason we finished is because he was always hurting me in some way and everytime I would forgive him and take him back. It felt like he thought he could get away with anything and I would ...
A. 19 March 2007: its not your heart talking it your low self esteem.ive done this in relationships a couple of times so i know where youre coming from.you get used to being put down.it almost becomes normal.the great thing here though is YOU finished it.deep down ... (read in full...)
He wants me, then he doesn't! How can I deal with his indecisiveness?
Q. Ok, this is the second time that I am writing this same post, and I've decided to make it short. Heres the story, my ex broke up with me last year and left me absolutely in the gutters, I cried, I suffered, i tried to move on but failed, I became ...
A. 16 March 2007: He sounds really messed up. Get out before his problems start rubbing off on you. He is very confused, mixed in with that is the fact that he's not showing you any real respect. Hate to say it but he could have another woman somewhere else and ... (read in full...)
How do I know he's not just stringing me along?
Q. The problem is that my boyfriend has a child from a previous relationship. At first when he told me I was fine with it. He is a loving man who is devoted to me but lately he has been spending time elsewhere and his excuses don't make sense. He's ...
A. 16 March 2007: Could you give a few more details as I found your question interesting but just a bit sketchy. Thanks... (read in full...)
Why am I like this? Why am I so clingy and dependant?
Q. I'm clingy. If I have seen my boyfriend for a few days/nights in a row I get upset when I don't see him the next day. I'm so clingy and I get really upset. Why am I so dependant. I also go the other way as well, if he hasn't slept over for a few ...
A. 16 March 2007: this truly is something you have to work on.im in my forties and still occasionally feel the way you do.how was your family life?because i find these abandonment fears have alot to do with what we see whilst growing up.you say your fine for a few ... (read in full...)
What should I do? The last thing I ever want to do is be untrue or hurt my wife.
Q. I have been with married for 4 years and together for 8 years. I love my wife, but she can be very selfish and self centered. I have a female friend at work that is on the verge of a divorce. I have been her shoulder to lean on, because she...
A. 16 March 2007: you are asking questions and i think that you spell out any confusion you have.if this friendship were truly innocent then you wouldnt be thinking like this.i agree with askeves answer.why dont you arrange a date with your wife included?hmmmm.the ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time and energy giving my love to someone who will never return it the way I want?
Q. I have known "my boy" for 20+ years. We grew up together, our parents were friends, etc. I moved away for 13 years, and when I came back I fell for him, as he did for me. He is married and has three children, but only stays in the relationsh...
A. 16 March 2007: i feel sorry for the wife and children.you know that what you are doing is wrong and would totally devastate them if they found out.he committed to her.your"boy"had 3 kids with her.doesnt it tell you a whole lot about his character that he can sneak ... (read in full...)
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