Sex will get boring if we don't try new things, he says. But what new things?
Q. I think I'll never be good in bed.My boyfriend says to me that I have to make new things and If I don't it will be boring but I don't know what to do.what new can i make.something sexy?I get really confused every time that we have sex,his words ...
A. 16 June 2005: Well, your boyfriend is right--over the long haul especially, variety keeps things interesting.
Since it sounds like your difficulty isn't that you're not game, just inexperienced, why not put the ball back in his court? As in, "Gee, honey! T... (read in full...)
His lying doesn't help my lack of trust, but how do I approach the subject?
Q. Trust! I have been with my partner for 8 years and am pregnant with our second child. He does like to extend the truth in certain harmless ways and I knew when he was and overlooked it. He is now starting to go overboard and I know of ...
A. 15 June 2005: At the wise old age of 43, I've found that without extraordinary effort in the opposite direction, people become more so as they age rather than less. He's obviously gotten very adept at some corollary skills like evasion and blame-shifting, which ... (read in full...)
I trusted him, but my mum didn't. Now he's mad at me and says it's over!
Q. Hi. My boyfriend of nearly a year broke up with me last week because he had interest in another girl. But two days afterwards he phoned me and said that nothing happened with her because he still had feeling for me. That night we met up and talked ...
A. 15 June 2005: The question is not whether he will call you again for a reconciliation; the question is what you will do if he does.
You say you really trust him and were just trying to prove your mother wrong by ringing your boyfriend at the friends' house, b... (read in full...)
I feel rejected because my partner "just doesn't like" having sex during my periods...
Q. I'm wondering whether I'm making a fuss over nothing, as it's hard to get men's honest opinions on this: should I be bothered that my partner "just doesn't like" making love during my periods. For the record, he is not squeamish about anything else ...
A. 15 June 2005: I'm not sure what you mean by your periods not being just for your benefit--do you feel that since menstruation is part of the cycle that makes childbirth possible, therefore your partner (with whom I'm assuming you want to have children) benefits ... (read in full...)
There's a big age gap, but can it work between us?
Q. Will a 35 year old female marrying a 60 year old male make a successful marriage?...
A. 15 June 2005: I believe that age is a state of mind...up to a point. Such a large age gap is less of an issue when the younger partner is 35, but there will still be great cultural differences.
The biggest potential issue that I can see (outside of the possibil... (read in full...)
Why do I get so annoyed by my partner's ex-wife?
Q. I am a 23 year old female. My boyfriend is 31 and has a six year old daughter with his ex wife. Every Friday he drives 45 mins to drop his daughter off at her mum's and picks her up every Sunday. His ex texts him quite often asking him to do th...
A. 11 June 2005: You may be experiencing these feelings of jealously (because that's what they are, though you won't put a name to them) because you're young; you may be experiencing them because he gives you reason to feel jealous. I'm not acquainted with all the ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner's teenage kids what I know about him?
Q. I have been with my partner for 8 years. Last year I found out that his first marriage ended because he had an affair with his mother-in-law. His two teenage children don't know about this and because of his guilt he lets them get away with awful ...
A. 11 June 2005: My first thought when I read your letter was where the mom was on all of this; she was obviously devastated by the double betrayal by a husband and her own mother and here she's got to keep it all under wraps for the sake of the children. That is ... (read in full...)
The sex seemed normal, but... what happened?
Q. Okay, I might be sounding a bit stupid here, but here goes anyway. I took my fiance on holiday last week, and as normal people do, we had sex. I have had a fair share of sexual partners in my life, but something odd happened that has never happen...
A. 11 June 2005: Congratulations, son--you found her G-spot, that mythical, magical area tucked up high in the vaginal canal that, when stimulated properly, causes honest-to-christmas female ejaculation like the kind you two experienced. The other major kind of fe... (read in full...)
My online woman doesn't know I'm married, and my wife doesn't know I'm cheating...
Q. I embarked on an internet dating agency even though I am happily married. The problem is I have fallen head over heels with a lady I met. We have made love on numerous occations, then problem is I still love my wife but I also am deeply in love with ...
A. 11 June 2005: First things first: you cannot get back to the way things were. Everything has changed and you're dealing with a new set of circumstances. So even in the miracle scenario--you tell both women, your wife forgives you and takes you back, Internet Gal ... (read in full...)
We were together but it didn't work out... Now I can't get her off my mind.
Q. Well I'm 15 years of age but don't think 'lust' as soon as you see my age; it isn't like that. My problem is I like this girl and she pretty much means everything to me. I have liked her for nearly a year now and we once were together but it didn'...
A. 11 June 2005: Your problem isn't that you like this girl and that she means everything to you; your problem is that she doesn't seem to share your feelings (at least, not anymore) and is content to have you as "just" a friend or a shoulder to lean on in times of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend swears he loves me, but I just don't feel secure!
Q. I have been in a relationship for about a year. We are in our 40's, but for whatever reason I dont feel secure in this relationship and I really cannot see a reason why I wouldn't. He swears up and down he loves me, and tries harder than anyone I ...
A. 11 June 2005: You don't give any reasons--gut-level reasons--you've considered and discarded so I'm going to operate on the assumption that there is, in fact, no reason: that this is the greatest, healthiest, perfect-est guy ever to walk the earth and you're just ... (read in full...)
I haven't treated my girlfriend as well as I should, now I want to make things better. What can I do?
Q. My g/f decicided she wanted to take a break from our relationship because she felt that I didn't give her the attention she deserved. In the past I have been really hurt after 'putting myself out there' and I guess subconciously I didn't give mys...
A. 11 June 2005: Maybe you were ready for public consumption, maybe not. Maybe you have issues, maybe not. The thing is, the girl is worn out. So let's put you aside now, and make it about her. I'm guessing you've expressed to her your dismay and sorrow over poss... (read in full...)
Why does he say he "doesn't deserve" me? Is he going to drop me?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for about 4 years now and I know that I love him, as more than a friend. Recently we have crossed the line and have slept together twice. He says that he doesn't deserve me, but I think he is trying to blow me off. ...
A. 11 June 2005: Man oh man, I hate to reference pop culture like this but all I can think of is that hideous book/phrase/cultural phenomenon: He's Just Not That Into You. You love this guy? Or want him, at least, more than a friend? Tell him. Say, "Wow, I kno... (read in full...)
What can I do to get over him, now that we've broken up?
Q. How do I get over him? OK, so I finally decided not to get back with my ex. It's great to finally have a little clarity in my life, but I'm not exactly happy! Because the split was amicable and we didn't really fall out, I'm finding it reall...
A. 11 June 2005: If you really want to be friends with this guy, great--be friends. Only not for a year. Or two, or three, or whatever you feel like needs to pass until you can see him with NO longing whatsoever. Now...let's take care of you. This is your time to ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of just lying there during sex. I want to know how to make it better for him!
Q. I am a 15yr old girl and I've had sex before and all but I still don't know what to do. I just lay there not doing any thing it was good and all but I want to know what way to move and how to pleasure a lad....
A. 11 June 2005: You're pretty young, so you probably haven't heard J.P. Morgan's reply to a reporter inquiring after the cost of his yacht: "If you have to ask, you can't afford it." I'm hoping that your partner is about your age, and not an older boy or man... (read in full...)
Can I trust him not to betray me again by masturbating to porn?
Q. I recently found out that my boyfriend looked at porn and masturbated. He said he wanted to stop for me because every time he did it he felt like he was betraying me. This has me so worried because if he felt like he was betraying me and couldnt ...
A. 11 June 2005: To paraphrase Woody Allen, there's nothing wrong with masturbation--it's sex with someone I love. The real problem here as I see it is that *he* feels there's a problem (his "betrayal" of you) and you feel there's a problem with him masturbating... (read in full...)
My fiance cheated with a stripper and blamed me. Now he wants to try again. Should we?
Q. I am due to get married in August this year to my fiance/boyfriend of almost 8 years. Yet 7 weeks ago he was unfaithful with a stripper and was undecisive as to whether he wanted her or me. The reason for his straying (according to him) is that i ...
A. 11 June 2005: I am so sorry these troubles have been heaped upon you in such rapid succession. I'm not especially thrilled that your fiance's response to your emotional upheaval was to run around on you with another woman; I'm concerned that perhaps both of you ... (read in full...)
We're attracted to each other, but she's put up emotional barriers that are hard to overcome!
Q. I am very attracted to a 31 year old female both emotionally and physically. I am a 44 year old female. We have hung out several times together. We have only known each other for 5 months. We have told each other that we are attracted to one ...
A. 11 June 2005: Frankly, I'd rather see you taking care of yourself than trying to get her to change--or even question--her own behavior. Since you work together, I think you need to take immediate action--or rather, non-action. Back off of anything sexual;... (read in full...)
My ex is off drugs and wants to come back, but in the meantime I'm dating someone else, too!
Q. I have gotten myself in a bit of a love triangle and I am suffering completely for it. Please help. My boyfriend of 2 years and I had been experiencing many bad times. He always ignored me, was around then wasn't around, and we fought a lot to s...
A. 11 June 2005: Okay, lemme get this straight: you had the incredible good sense to get involved with a junkie--whom you thought was so awesome you stayed with him for two years--and then when you were finally rid of him, you jumped into a brand new relationship ... (read in full...)
My sleeping with other guys is OK with my husband... but will that include his brother?
Q. Lemme give you some background. I am 32 and married 10 years to a 34 yr old wonderful man and we've enjoyed a great marriage and friendship. We have a open relationship. It's complicated. I can have sex with another man in our bedroom with the ...
A. 11 June 2005: I'm all for whatever it is consenting adults agree to. Far be it from me to cast any judgment whatsoever on how you and your husband have agreed to arrange your marital life. With 10 years under your belts, it sounds like you've got something ... (read in full...)
It seems like I'm shouldering all the responsibility for both my husband and me...
Q. I am a retired school teacher, Income around $40k. My husband has not worked in over two years. He looks for jobs that are most times out of reach. I bought a new house in Feb and he refuses to leave. I pay all of the bills and buy most of the ...
A. 11 June 2005: I'm a little confused here: you bought a house and he refuses to leave? Have you two already gone your separate ways and just not felt the need to legalize it? Or is he perhaps depressed as well and literally not feeling up to leaving the house to ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want a relationship, but there are lots of other things that she wants!
Q. dear sir/madam How can I help my best friend who loves a girl deeply, but this girl does not want a relationship, but wants my best friend to pay her college fees and apartment for her, as well? And he agrees to help, but she doesnt want him to l...
A. 11 June 2005: Ah, love... Or should I say, "Ah, attachment..."? Because really, no matter how strong your friend's feelings, can they really include feelings of love when they're so obviously unreciprocated? Your friend is not being viewed as a potential ... (read in full...)
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