| A ,
anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship for about a year. We are in our 40's, but for whatever reason I dont feel secure in this relationship and I really cannot see a reason why I wouldn't. He swears up and down he loves me, and tries harder than anyone I have ever met at making this work. This is a second relationship for both and I have children at home..Help! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Well only the person in the relationship would know clearly if their boyfriend loves them or not. If you do not feel secure you should tell him this and if you still don't feel secure then the best thing you could pissbily do is end the relationship before you end up hurting yourself. However, you will have to first decide why you do not feel secure and only you will know what to do. Gud Luck
A
reader, communicatrix +, writes (11 June 2005):
 You don't give any reasons--gut-level reasons--you've considered and discarded so I'm going to operate on the assumption that there is, in fact, no reason: that this is the greatest, healthiest, perfect-est guy ever to walk the earth and you're just flipping out. Okay--what's in your control here? That's right: your response. Why is it you feel funny about this one? Is it residual fear from past relationships? Fundamental I'm-not-worthy fears from childhood?If you really don't know, you owe it to yourself to do some serious exploration on your own. See a counselor. Talk to smart friends. Join a therapy group. If you have alcohol/abuse/whatever issues from your recent or far-ago past, by all means, get help for them.There being no obvious answer in him, the answer may lie in you. And even if the problem lies with him, getting more in touch with who you are and what makes you tick will make it easier to discern the good and bad that resides outside of your immediate control.Best of luck in your journey.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2005): You are not insecure for whatever reason, there is a reason that you need to figure out. Search yourslf and ask yourself why you feel this way. Do you love really love him? Also, you have to see if there are any signs showing you of his untruth. You need to discuss your insecurities with your man.
...............................
A
reader, rabbit +, writes (8 June 2005):
I'm not sure what to say to this, instead I will offer my thoughts if I was in the situation.I think if I was truly trying to make it work out and being 100% devoted and loyal for about a year, I would be quite upset (to say the least) if you didn't show me the same devotion and loyalty back.I must say, I do try to live by this quote:Give more than you've got.Be more than you are.
...............................
|
