A
female
age
30-35,
*apila
writes:I’m a married woman with two children.My husband is good but not so romantic. He loves me, but he does not show me that he loves me.When I was in school I was proposed to by a boy who self-harmed himself. I loved him secretly but I was suspected him of having an affair with a girl so I denied his proposal. After school he went to another state to study, and I got married.I still loved him secretly deep inside me and remembered him in both sad and happy moments of my lifeIt has been seven years now since we met on FaceBook... We did chat and I told him that I still love him... He says he truly loved me at that time and was not having an affair... He regrets that he didn’t try more at the time. But now for past year and a half he has been having an affair with the same girl I suspected... We still chat and make love through text messages... Does he really love me? Should I continue to talk with him... I long for his touch and company. He is romantic with his talks... He remains busy but still takes time out for me... He asks me about my children and I asks about our wellbeing... I’m confused. It’s been one year since we've been talking...I don’t want leave my husband ... But I know I can’t forget this guy who I’ve had a crush on for so long. What should I do???... And now we live in different countries. So now we can just text each other...
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female
reader, Florosa  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 I truly understand what you're going through in more ways then one...Most important factor here is if you knew him back then and things did not work out and he hurt himself It's a big RED FLAG!Also remember you suspected from the very beginning he was having an affair w/h this girl 7 years later his confessed he's still with the same girl you suspected?!? I hope you and hubby get talking on working some new adventures in your life or possibly a romantic getaway for the two of you!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 March 2013):
 YOU are married and have two children. Until and unless that changes, all the rest of your submittal is of no import......
Work on the family - and life - that you have.... don't waste your time and energy fantasizing about the family and life that you don't (or wish you could) have.....
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, Been Through It +, writes (1 March 2013):
 I agree with Dirtball.I don't know this man, but don't believe he understands what he wants. I have a feeling he really enjoys you feeding his ego. Men really like that. Hell, I like that... but when it comes down to it saying things like, I should have fought harder, means he really didn't want you at the time. With all the time away, you both really have no idea who each other is. Your lives have evolved over the last 7 years and you are hanging on to what you remember back then. The real question is, are you happily married? I know you have a good man, but you have to think about if you are happy or not. This old flame may not be a reality, but is a catalyst to finding what you want. If you haven't already crossed the line and cheated on your man, think about talking to your husband first and find a way to open up about what you need in your marriage.Good luck
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 This guy is just a fantasy, an escape, like a romantic novel. I read this saying somewhere, "Pretty words are not always true and true words are not always pretty". If this guy really loves you and wants to be with you, then why doesn't he do something about it? And somehow I don't really believe him about not having an affair with that other girl when he proposed to you. Suddenly he's having an affair with that same girl? That is very suspicious! So he texts you all the time. Does he call you or make more of an effort to see you or be with you? Just be mindful of the effort he puts into his relationship with you. A text is hardly any effort at all.I think that in order for you to get this guy out of your system, you need to see him as he really is. I hope that one day the opportunity presents itself to you and you're able to see that it was all just infatuation and not true love.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 March 2013):
 The grass is NOT greener on the other side.
You love an idealized version of the real thing. You wonder what might have been. It's a fantasy that will not live up to the real thing. It's easy for him to be this fictional perfect man because you're looking for it. You're starved for it from your husband.
Have you talked to your husband about his lack of effort in your relationship? Why did you marry your husband? What's changed?
If you want this to end, you need to cut ALL contact with this guy. It will never go away, but having constant reminders through texts, and FB will only be fuel on a fire you wish to extinguish.
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