It's complicated, but she doesn't want to put in the effort. I really do care for her!
Q. I have an issue. I am complicated with a girl that I've since highschool. We have gone out our senior year for a year into our freshman year of college (which was long distance) until complications got in the way. After our breakup, for about a...
A. 14 February 2012: Yes, it is good to hear similar stories & to share each other's burdens. We all have that lonely void we want to fill, & yes, it's even more difficult when you truly don't want to lose even the friendship. But if there are feelings greater than that ... (read in full...)
It's complicated, but she doesn't want to put in the effort. I really do care for her!
Q. I have an issue. I am complicated with a girl that I've since highschool. We have gone out our senior year for a year into our freshman year of college (which was long distance) until complications got in the way. After our breakup, for about a...
A. 13 February 2012: Oy. Didn't mean to be blunt, but sometimes it's what's needed. Your situation just sounded entirely like mine but from the wrong end. The entire time we were together he always said if anything ever happened he could never bear to lose me as a ... (read in full...)
How do I let him go, when I'm not even sure that I can?
Q. Hello again aunts and uncles. Title speaks for itself really! How do you let someone go from your life, when you genuinely don't think you can do it?? I know what people will say as i have commented on many posts just like this, "keep yourself b...
A. 12 February 2012: You can. You will. I left mine January 2nd. I know the whole "hobby" thing is always mentioned, but there's truth to it, and there are things you can do that aren't very expensive. Get some books on different kinds of arts and crafts--even the ... (read in full...)
Why can't I just erase everything from my ex?
Q. I have deleted my ex's mobile number and all his/my messages to each other. Why/what is stopping me deleting him from facebook? He has a girlfriend but I believe he has restricted my access to his wall. Why can't I do the final 'nail in th...
A. 12 February 2012: I understand. Deleting just a couple things at a time made it easier to deal with. Pics from the phone, computer, my own Facebook page...then I deleted ALL of the text messages, ALL of the Facebook and email correspondence. Then all the contact ... (read in full...)
It's complicated, but she doesn't want to put in the effort. I really do care for her!
Q. I have an issue. I am complicated with a girl that I've since highschool. We have gone out our senior year for a year into our freshman year of college (which was long distance) until complications got in the way. After our breakup, for about a...
A. 11 February 2012: "She's worth being in my life", "...it's about having my bestfriend there for me whenever", "But to me it is more than just the emotional attachment, I want that attention from her as my bestfriend. She makes the relationship seem very one ... (read in full...)
Why do so many people seem okay with such a mindset?
Q. I read it and hear it all the time: "He/She can look all they want, can flirt all they want, etc., but in the end it's me they come home to." What is this?! It seems that we've lowered our standards SO much that we accept this BS aISA "relatio...
A. 11 February 2012: Yeah. Like I said, I guess if I'd had more reassurance that he was really committed as much as I would then this kind of thing wouldn't bother me as much. When you've got reason to trust your partner then it isn't a real "issue". Even after 15 ... (read in full...)
It's complicated, but she doesn't want to put in the effort. I really do care for her!
Q. I have an issue. I am complicated with a girl that I've since highschool. We have gone out our senior year for a year into our freshman year of college (which was long distance) until complications got in the way. After our breakup, for about a...
A. 11 February 2012: Sorry, but no. It's not healthy, at least obviously not for her. She loves you in a very particular way. To have your affection as a friend is probably crushing her. I tried to be friends with my ex because he still wanted me in his life in that ... (read in full...)
Why do so many people seem okay with such a mindset?
Q. I read it and hear it all the time: "He/She can look all they want, can flirt all they want, etc., but in the end it's me they come home to." What is this?! It seems that we've lowered our standards SO much that we accept this BS aISA "relatio...
A. 11 February 2012: I'm just frustrated with those who constantly need their egos stroked by the attention of others. And there just seems to be SO MANY people like that. I need someone more like-minded. Obviously they're out there and I had a run-in with a real bad ... (read in full...)
Why do so many people seem okay with such a mindset?
Q. I read it and hear it all the time: "He/She can look all they want, can flirt all they want, etc., but in the end it's me they come home to." What is this?! It seems that we've lowered our standards SO much that we accept this BS aISA "relatio...
A. 10 February 2012: It's stupid. When I was w/my BF, I saw plenty of attractive guys, but I didn't even think TWICE about them. ALL I thought about was my guy. Maybe part of it comes from an OCD personality. I've got a pretty fragile heart and I guess I need more ... (read in full...)
I don't want to get back with my ex, but I need help understanding his behaviour. Why couldnt he stop going onto online dating sites? Why did he lie so much?
Q. I write in a midst of confusion. I have ended a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend due to his do or die determination in dating site memberships. It has been a constant cycle of him getting caught, lying, convincing me I am seeing things, then ...
A. 10 February 2012: You asked the $10,000 question! But seriously, everyone else has nailed it here. Truly. I'm just adding a little extra encouragement as I've struggled with the same question after ditching a jerk who did the same things. Problem is, with guys like ... (read in full...)
Is he a player? Should I stay with him? Or am I just one of many?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm in a really confusing situation right now, but I need to make a decision soon and I hope that I will get some good advice from here. I have been in a relationship with this guy since a year - last February, we are going to complet...
A. 10 February 2012: Player. Plain and simple. Sorry, but after ALL of that with ALL those different women, I'd be gone. You're worth WAY more than that! Why do we allow people to use us like this? Hold out for someone who wants a real relationship. ... (read in full...)
I feel like I don't deserve my girlfriend because I'm constantly thinking about dating other girls!
Q. I think I do not deserve my girlfriend. I consistently have thoughts of what it would be like to date a different person. I constantly tell some girls that I wish I could date them, but that that would involve me breaking up with my beautiful angel. ...
A. 9 February 2012: I just broke up with someone just like you. I gave him numerous chances to break it off if he still wanted to play the field. He stayed with me for 15 months, never totally committing his heart & mind to the relationship. His inability to decide ... (read in full...)
Useful advice needed on this age difference!
Q. okay so this is confusing some people may think its absurd others may think its okay, but basically in 2009 i was in year eleven and i was going out with a year eight BUT his birthday was right by the dead line of the year thing, i cant remember ...
A. 9 February 2012: So_Very_Confused, back me up on this one! -_o I'm 37. The two guys I'm talking with right now (getting to know them) are 24 & 25. My (recent) ex was also 24. Age is only a number. The bottom line question is always: Is he ready to commit? Seriously. ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to start a new relationship because I don't want to hurt my ex!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of 20months 3 weeks ago, the relationship had started to go downhill at around the beginning of november, he still felt the same about me but I was starting to notice the spark disappear. In the beginning of December I ...
A. 9 February 2012: Gonna have to "watch list" this question as I'm in a similar situation. It's been 7 weeks since I broke up with my BF. We were together 15 months. My therapist said it truly is a grieving process, that it IS a type of death & that some people move ... (read in full...)
I'm curious to know if any of these girls ever liked me. Should I ask them?
Q. Got a good question for you. I'm still in contact with a number of girls that I used to like, with most of them we became friends. I'm very curious even though I have found a wonderful girl that I have asked to marry me. I still wonder if any of ...
A. 8 February 2012: Your "curiosity" is one thing. That you want to actually contact them makes me think you're not ready for the committment of marriage. Even if you believe in your heart that you're just innocently curious, as someone already pointed out, you're ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend like to choke me? How "rough" is normal?
Q. Hey there, So my guy and I have been together for two months or so now, and things seem pretty great. We see each other about once or twice a week, and usually we go out to dinner or to a movie. We have moved very fast emotionally and sexually...
A. 8 February 2012: My ex used to do both those things and I loved it. But then I preferred that dominant aspect in bed. But you have to tell him what you're comfortable with and what you're not. If he's got self-control and is paying attention to the state you're... (read in full...)
Why are his responses getting shorter? Is he into me or not?
Q. I had what appears to be a nice guy message me on a dating site. He initiated the contact, so that's a plus in my book. We've each replied once a day for a few days. I'm keeping it light and trying to ask him questions to get more info out of him. ...
A. 8 February 2012: Thanks you guys! This is my 1st foray back into the online thing (1st time was 3 years ago and I wasn't serious about it and it didn't last long). All of your advice has been very helpful. I understand keeping options open and trying a few peop... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but I am attracted to others!
Q. Hello everyone, I have been in a relationship for the past 5 months with a wonderful girl. She is attractive, works hard, cares about me immensely, and pretty much matches everything I had pictured I wanted in a girl. However recently, I have...
A. 6 February 2012: You had better decide real quick what you want. You either commit to your girlfriend or you do the right and decent thing and let her go so you can pursue the attention fix you need. It is not fair to her at all for you to have these doubts and to ... (read in full...)
I've been hurt and don't feel like dating!
Q. Why do I feel this way? is it normal? did it happen to you too? I have no interest in guys or relationships. My ex really hurt me. He cheated, lied and dumped me and asked to remain friends and of course I said no. It seems like everyo...
A. 6 February 2012: I feel for you. I can't hardly think about guys in general without feeling nauseated after my recent breakup. I know there are good guys out there. Have you considered trying it out with guys that you've friendzoned? We all seem to want what we ... (read in full...)
How to avoid pregnancy
Q. Hi, I am new to this so sorry if I'm doing it wrong. Anyways, I am currently 19 years old and I really want to have sex with my boyfriend of 8 months, but I am terrified of getting pregnant... I know about condoms, but those arent always effectiv...
A. 5 February 2012: Sorry to tell you but if someone is meant to come into the world it'll happen no matter what precautions you take. A friend of mine was one of the 3% that still got pregnant while on birth control pills. So you'd better be 100% sure you're ready for ... (read in full...)
How do I ask my boyfriend what his future plans are with me?
Q. So Im wondering how I ask my boyfriend if we are working towards having a future together or if this all we are goin to do. I don't want to feel like I do all the things I do for him like cleaning his place all the time when there is no future f...
A. 5 February 2012: I just ended a similar relationship. I did all that for my ex. Rarely got any thank yous. Like someone else said, you might really want to do these things for him but you'll resent it in the end because he doesn't actually tell you not to do them ... (read in full...)
Try for a relationship or stay friends?
Q. I have started seeing this boy i have been really close with for 3 years, he's always been there and we've finally admitted we had feelings for each other. seeing as how close we were is it best to try for a relationship or to just stay as fri...
A. 4 February 2012: I'm interested in the answers you get here as I have a potentially similar issue. My heart says if you're both interested then why not? I'd take it ridiculously slow, just to really feel it out. But if you really care for each other and are ... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable to ask my partner to be responsible for half the bills? Am I being used?
Q. My partner has taken on financial responisbilities without communicating her intention to do so with me. These have stretched her resources so far that she never has any money. The result is that, although she does not ask me to assist her in paying ...
A. 4 February 2012: I was in a similar position. He swore he didn't need me to spoil him & pay for so much (I'm a giver to a fault). But when we'd go out, he'd actually ask "Do you want me to get that" when the check came. Um, if you have to ask that means you probably ... (read in full...)
My ex of one year calls me up every week, but is adamant he does not want to see me or get back together...how do I interpret these mixed signals?
Q. Hi all, This situation involves an ex boyfriend; We were together for just short of a year and he apparently fell out of love with me and suddenly dumped me over a phone call. He did not treat me well during the relationship; in fact, he wa...
A. 4 February 2012: Everyone else has already nailed it on the head, but it always helps to have more responses to encourage and give insight and to know you're not alone or the only one who's dealt with this. My (recent) ex had 2 good friends who were also both his ... (read in full...)
What's it like to have a girlfriend/wife who's a gamer?
Q. Gamer Guys: What's it like to have a gamer as a girlfriend/wife? Is it annoying, fun, cool, make it a happy relationship, causes fights, ect? I do think that girl gamer's are really hot. Because I'm a huge gamer and for years I've wanting to have ...
A. 4 February 2012: Hah! My ex got me started on WoW & later Skyward Sword. He had a wealth of knowledge he wanted to share about it & I enjoyed learning from him. It was great to run dungeons together or get his help on quests. I liked playing on 2 computers in the ... (read in full...)
What does he want from me?
Q. I was with this guy for on and off for 2 years and we broke up about 10 months ago. I was completely heartbroken....This guy has hurt me so much in the past 10 months that we've been broken up. He went from breaking up with me to dating a new girl 2 ...
A. 3 February 2012: Yeah, I'd agree with the others although I'd temper it a little. I'm in a similar place as you. So he decides to waltz in so relaxed and "caring"? Nope. He had that, body and soul and he lost it. He realizes the attention and ego boosting he lost ... (read in full...)
I feel like I owe it to my husband to have a threesome.
Q. My husband has been wanting a threesome with another women, i was for it at first but after his pushing and searching I started to have my insecruities. I feel tho, it needs to happen. I was unfaithful to him. I kissed a guy. (it might not see...
A. 3 February 2012: Please don't do this! People make mistakes in relationships. True love is about forgiveness for mistakes and working together to press forward. This self-induced "punishment" is not what you need at all. You will only feel worse afterwards. And ... (read in full...)
Will I ever get over her?
Q. As with many people on here before me, I find I am suffering from a period of emotional torment to do with the girl I loved briefly for nine months and who broke my heart repeatedly because she was not ready in her own mind for a new relationship ...
A. 2 February 2012: God, do I feel for you! I was with my ex 15 months. Gave him body and soul. Now he thinks we can just be friends. We've been apart 1 month & no contact 1 week. I just can't bear it. I think about him constantly, even though I try to distract myself. ... (read in full...)
Do I need to conform to the level that society is at? Having pointless one night stands to relieve my built up tension?
Q. So I think I'm a pretty good looking guy but because of the situation I am in, I am still a virgin... I think this is mostly because I'm stuck; I don't have a vehicle and I still live with my parents due to financial reasons...It's sad but true that ...
A. 2 February 2012: Oh! Please hold fast to what you believe! I think there are a lot of people who like the shock value of multiple partners & threesomes. People who do these things say they're happy & free but I think deep down they're just trying to fill empty ... (read in full...)
I love him but don't trust him! help!
Q. Me and my man have been together for a year now but have been close friends for nine years. Once our relationship started he changed(slowly) now wont even open up to me like he used to. He has commitment issues, as well as i, from being hurt in the ...
A. 2 February 2012: No. Let that be a resounding no! I was in a similar situation. I always felt he had one foot out the door. We were together over a year. Guys who claim they've been "hurt so badly" by previous relationships and who then have "difficulty with ... (read in full...)
Should I learn to be faithful or move on?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for a whole year. I cheated on him twice. He heard from people but I always denied and he believes me. Im a christian and my boyfriend is muslim, my parents keep trying to tell me to leave him because there will be ...
A. 2 February 2012: And you say you're a Christian..? What happened to do unto others as you would have them do unto you? And who says once you're with someone else that you won't cheat on them as well? Better take a long hard look at how your beliefs line up with your ... (read in full...)
Supplementing your relationship with cyber and virtual contact?
Q. Here's the dilemma with a double-standard. For some reason, I'm ok with porn. I've watched it. It turns me on. I don't fantasize about the actors. I think about myself and my (at the time) boyfriend. I'm sure what everyone gets out of it is ...
A. 2 February 2012: Thank you all for affirming this for me. I felt they were forms of cheating but those closest to my ex said it was just 'a guy being a guy'. I'm just appalled at the extent to which people cheat! Men & women-how would they feel if it was their ... (read in full...)
I have no trouble dating men off dating sites, but why can't I get them to stick around?
Q. I seem to be able to get men, date men off the dating sites, but never seem to be able to keep them.What am I doing wrong?I am not sleeping with them early on, but I am upset when I see them on the dating sites after we agree to meet up again as ...
A. 1 February 2012: I'm making my second foray into this online dating thing. Dating in general appears to be a tricky dance. I can understand staying a little active on the sites when you're first just dating someone. If after a few dates one party isn't interested, ... (read in full...)
I get mad at my boyfriend for always looking at pretty girls. And adding them on Facebook.
Q. I know that men are attracted to women who look good. I always get mad at my boyfriend when he looks at pretty girls. And he reacted negatively to my action too. After some time, I would feel silly because all men are like that. But now, I think ...
A. 1 February 2012: And if you started added one hot guy after the other as your FB friend, what would HE say? I don't understand why guys think it's ok or their "primal urge" to look around when they have a real live flesh and blood woman in front of them. If he's ... (read in full...)
I am thinking of contacting my ex G/f again and telling her that I am the one who screwed up and am really sorry..
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend about a year ago now. I had an affair and started an open relationship with her but it really did not work out since she had too many head problems. I continue to think of my ex girl since she was the best thing that ...
A. 1 February 2012: You had better be 100% sure that you've changed & grown & are ready for true commitment. Because if you're lucky enough to be offered a second chance, if you jerk her around again you should just find a rock to crawl under. Put your big-boy pants ... (read in full...)
I have trouble with listening and comprehension...what should I do about this?
Q. Hi everyone. I have a question. I've always struggled with hearing and paying attention to people. When strangers talk to me, I freeze and have trouble understanding what they're saying when I feel nervous. I have to ask people to repeat themselve...
A. 31 January 2012: As an audiologist, I'd say definitely get a baseline hearing test to rule out any actual hearing loss (you'd be surprised at how even a mild loss can impact comprehension). If the hearing is ok, you could have something along the lines of ADHD or ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to date without playing any games?
Q. Is it possible to date without playing games? I read all this dating advice and it seems like nothing but a game with sexist rules. A game that doesn't seem fun at all. It's described in many ways: as a "push-pull dynamic", a "dance" or a "chase" ...
A. 28 January 2012: Ok. Who are you & can you meet me tonight?! But seriously, I share the exact same mindset. Games show a complete lack of respect for the heart of another living being. I believe people who play these games (The Chase, or claim to run hot & cold) are ... (read in full...)
I recently saw a message my boyfriend sent to this girl saying nice photo! I changed mine and he said nothing to me? please help!
Q. Hi please help- i recently saw a message my boyfriend sent to this girl saying nice photo how are you.I should say the message was private. He hasnt talked to her in a year and now out of the blue mailed her when she changed her profile pic on site. ...
A. 27 January 2012: Ditch him. Do not compete with any other women, real or virtual. If a guy truly loves & respects you he will do everything he can to prove it. Do not waste your life on someone who is looking all around so obviously at other women. Men commit to & ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with sexting someone else while in a committed relationship?
Q. why is sexting (sending racy/sexually suggestive texts and FB messages) wrong? I can't see a problem with it and have been sexting an ex-colleague who i have no intention of seeing in reality. My gf of 6 months (who i love and am serious about) ...
A. 25 January 2012: You want the attention of other women. You're saying that the flesh and blood woman you have with you isn't enough. You . Are. Cheating. You have no respect for your girlfriend. If you want to experience the attention of other women, be a man ... (read in full...)
I really like this guy, but his past relationships have left him scared of dating women!
Q. Hi I have just started being friends with this guy but i really like him he is a really nice guy and everyone thinks so he has a lot of girl mates cause he finds it easy being mates with girls but he said he is scared of having a girlfriend ...
A. 24 January 2012: I have to agree with the other poster. I was with a guy who kept a string of exgirlfriends around because they "understood" him & he'd been so "hurt" by girls in the past. I gave him literally everything-$$$, companionship, sex, gifts, took care of ... (read in full...)
I am tempted to have sex with my ex. He is flirting with me and I really would like to respond! Please advice?
Q. Hey guys, I'm getting tempted by my ex and don't want to cheat on my bf, what should I do? My ex sends me racy FB and text messages, and has asked for/sent me pictures of himself in various stages of undress, telling me what he would do to me if we ...
A. 24 January 2012: I can't even believe you're asking this. You really believe marriages "work" when there's a mistress? How did you feel when you learned your BF was cheating on you? You are perpetuating the cycle. Your have no respect for your ex's poor wife (& ... (read in full...)
I do all these things for him, but I feel unloved!
Q. I recently just moved in with my bf, we were in a long distance relationship. We've been living together for about three months now. He is a nice guy, but lately I just find it difficult to connect with him. I don't get very much emotional invo...
A. 21 January 2012: Get out now! Don't waste another moment of your precious life on him. I don't care how 'nice' a person he may seem to be. If he's emotionally unavailable & doesn't do even the nice little things he could then he is not invested in the relationship & ... (read in full...)
Time is marching on. How do I move on? I need some positive encouragement, please?
Q. Hello all, I've just turned 39 and have been single for 8 months after ending a relationship which was toxic, I wont go into it but he had issues. Im very sad that at 39 I am alone and have no children. I have 3 siblings who have children, a...
A. 21 January 2012: I just ended my first relationship ever 3 weeks ago. I was 35 when we got together. It lasted 15 months. I don't know how much encouragement I can give you as I'm staring down "37 years" in a month with no guys in site. Everyone says "give it time... (read in full...)
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