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I feel like I don't deserve my girlfriend because I'm constantly thinking about dating other girls!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 February 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 February 2012)
A male United States age 36-40, *enim9330 writes:

I think I do not deserve my girlfriend. I consistently have thoughts of what it would be like to date a different person. I constantly tell some girls that I wish I could date them, but that that would involve me breaking up with my beautiful angel. The thing is, I love my girlfriend to death, but its just hard for me to only be interested in her. Shes amazing, kind, sweet, beautiful, and makes my world complete. Can you tell me whether I deserve her, should stay with her, or any other answer?

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A male reader, dmanmcc Canada +, writes (10 February 2012):

dude i am you a year and a half down the road. my perfect angel begged me to stay when i started getting curious and i stuck around and actually decided that i wasnt going to be curious anymore because i had something amazing and guess what happened? she left me because she got curious. seriously just leave it will be easier on you if YOU break it off. after i decided i wanted to be with my girlfriend forever and she broke it off i am now devistated.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (9 February 2012):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntDude total sign to split and date other women. Youre naturally curious and still young. Have some fun. Id tell your GF your feelings about this. She'll get all emotional but stay calm. Explain to her logically its the wrong time for you to settle down because you are curious and want to explore a bit and reassure her its nothing against her character, her looks, or her personality. Good luck.

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A female reader, bardia United States +, writes (9 February 2012):

bardia agony auntI just broke up with someone just like you. I gave him numerous chances to break it off if he still wanted to play the field. He stayed with me for 15 months, never totally committing his heart & mind to the relationship. His inability to decide what he wanted in life finally came out. He knew it was me or I was gone! I gave him my body & soul. I am devastated. But I refuse to be anyone's second choice. If you do not love your girlfriend ABOVE ALL OTHERS then you truly DO NOT love her & in fact you are completely disrespecting her and using her. Man up. Make your decision to stay or to play the field. But DO NOT jerk her around like this.

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (9 February 2012):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntFirst of all, I definitely think you should stop telling girls that you wish you could date them. True or not, it sends the wrong message about how you feel about your girlfriend and who you are as a person. Do you think you are a good person? Your girlfriend does deserve a good person doesn't she?

Do you make her as happy as she makes you? Or happier still? Clearly there is a part of you that thinks she deserves someone better perhaps. Do you think it at all possible that you could better yourself and become the man she deserves?

What qualities do these other girls possess that your girlfriend lacks? You say she is "amazing, kind, sweet, beautiful", it seems as though she is everything you could ever want in a partner. So what do you seek in these other girls?

There is also the possibility that it is just curiosity that leads you to wonder about what it would be like dating these other girls. Do you think your curiosity would be sated were you to end things with your girlfriend to explore other people? Honestly, would it be worth it?

I think you need to focus on other things. Try not to let your curiosity be the end of your current relationship, unless you are willing to lose your perfect woman to someone else.

You obviously want to stay with her. So stay with her and be the best boyfriend you can be to her.

I hope that helps.

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