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My friend seems keen for me to have sex with his wife

Tagged as: Friends, Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2017) 10 Answers - (Newest, 17 July 2017)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am single guy....... A friend of mine and his wife who I have both known for years,went over my apartment last night, after drinking at a local

bar,and we ended up having a threesome, after he encouraged her... afterwards it was a little awkward, but nevertheless they want to come over my apartment again Sunday night for a couple drinks, which I'm sure will lead to another threesome..I'm not complaining, but I'm suprised because my friend could'nt perform last night, probably due to all the alchohol he drank..that left him only capable of watching his wife and I having sex ... I feel that this all is going to end badly one day...why would my friend all of a sudden not mind me having sex with his wife? She seemed really into it, after some initial resistance last night...then she turned into a tiger.... any ideas??

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (17 July 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHe is your friend so meet up with him alone and talk to him, ask him how he feels. He may have issues and want to please his wife which means somewhere down the line he will hate you, or else he may enjoy watching it and doesn't mind but you need to ask how he feels just the both of you.

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A male reader, judgedick France +, writes (9 July 2017):

judgedick agony auntThe first posters seem to hit it, this man may have a fetish or can't get it up or keep it up long enough, or he just might like the idea love his wife and like to see her been pleasured more and more like the amount of pleasure he can give is not enough, He might be infertile and they wish to use you for your sperm, He might agree for his wife to have sex with others, She might have agreed to this on one condition that she picks the guy and that it be a single friend,

This is a common fetish untalked about but very real, most people that partake in this go for a compleat stranger so there is less risk of one getting feelings for the other guy, this is why clubs are spring up everywhere now before it was underground but now with the internet and people feel it is easy to talk about anything that was not the case before, there are now 3 clubs near me all out in the country where people can come and go with privity,

It used to be just rich people that go to these clubs, you may know about the French politician DSK,

Now with all this in your head you will have to think about where you want to stand can you be a sex-friend can you or her keep from wanting more, I have seen stories like this where the 3 people lived in one house like polygamy, you get it in parts of America, some of your politicians are pro this, That does not say it is right, this is more often acceptable for a man to have many women than for a woman to have more men,

Where you want to go with it is up to you, are you happy with going along for the ride getting a bit while your in a dry period or are you going to be happy being the fifth wheel in a more long term thing or will you be able to handle being in a three-way love triangle. you were happy to have sex with her and he there so you got yourself into it so will you be able to talk to them about where they see this going is it going to be a one day by day thing.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (9 July 2017):

YouWish agony auntI see serious landmines here as well. While I'm not going to call you a rapist, and you've already done it once and they're open to having a repeat performance, let me "pros and cons" this for you:

PRO:

It's taboo, risky, and thrilling. This is a fantasy-turned-reality for you.

You get laid, and it's no strings attached, and no question of being in a relationship, paying for dates, extended courting.

The husband isn't wanting to murder you in your sleep for having sex with his wife like most husbands usually desire to do.

You can answer the Facebook question "Have I ever been in a threesome?" with a YES.

CON:

She could get pregnant.

Their casual sex philosophy puts you at extreme risk of STI.

The copious and excessive use of alcohol opens you up to legal accusations of rape or sexual assault.

Your friendship with the couple has ended in the conventional sense. You are now their plaything, like pulling out a vibrator during sex play.

Feelings and all of their messy demands could pop up at any time.

You could secretly be filmed or drugged.

If they have children, you are taking part in ruining their lives.

You are single, but many women shy away from men with histories of threesomes and messing with married couples, unless they have similar sexual values and have had their share of casual sex or threesomes.

I could go on and on about the pros and cons, but your biggest issue here is lack of foresight. Do you ever want a family one day, to be married or living with a woman in an actual relationship where you both grow old and have children?

Let's ask another way: What if your mom or your sister told you that they were going to be in a threesome with a married couple? What if it was your daughter? Your little girl?

There are a million ways to get laid. Sex is never so abundant in today's society as it is now. You don't NEED to step in the landmine of a married couple's sexual dysfunction, and trust me, you'll not just be there for the "getting laid" part. You could get a call from her in the middle of the night, begging to stay with you because the two of them are in a fight. She could develop feelings and then ruin your life when you don't reciprocate them. The courts are stacked against men unfortunately when it comes to a woman pissed off and using the system to hurt someone.

They have too much baggage. The sex is NOT worth it.

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A male reader, Capri2 Argentina +, writes (9 July 2017):

A relationship between two people is usually complicated. What about a three people relationship?

Yes, common sense says this is going to end bad. Most probably your friend is going to get insecure about himself, if he can't perform while you keep nailing his wife. And specially if she enjoys it.

I don't know what kind of friend you are. I guess he isn't a close friend. Otherwise you wouldn't have done that. if you don't care about the and you think you won't catch feelings you can still enjoy this until this ends.

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A female reader, This_is_not_a_dress_rehearsal United States +, writes (9 July 2017):

This_is_not_a_dress_rehearsal agony auntGod that sounds like a divorcing couple I know. Come to find out they are well known for being swingers. All the playtime and swinging and what not involving stripper poles resulted in 2 of the most unhappy people I've ever met. One of their kids moved across the country to get away from them and fgr other is learning impaired. Saddest family

May be the hard times led to spouse swaps or maybe the marriage was already on rockie ground. Whatever

Are you ready to be deposed abt the sex with her? Sir she was so drunk she didn't realize she was having sex with you so didn't consent . Have you always been a rapist

, when was the first time you had non consensual with a drunken woman

Etc etc

In the case I know wife is going full on to get all assets possible from hubby. Your being set up in a nasty way and alcohol and drugs no doubt are involved

Wise up young studling -

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2017):

If I were you and you listened to your common sense, you would tell them never to come to your place again. UN-invite them.

You know exactly where that would lead.

Not only in-invite them but un-friend yourself from them.

You are not their friend. They are not yours.

That so called "friendship" ended the moment you decided to take part in this threesome. You can never go back and undo something like this. It is a game changer.

So, what's done is done. Chalk this up as an experience. One you have learned from and will never repeat.

As the others have said, no good will come of it. Sometimes it isn't worth the price you pay when you play.

You will see that first hand if you keep at it. The others have said the wife could get attached to you if you keep this up. Well, I will add that she ALREADY IS and has been all along or she would not have been so quick to accept this arrangement.

You are already walking down a dangerous road. Time to turn back. It's not too late now.

Or will your dick do all the thinking like most men? Do you harbour some secret feelings for your friend's wife??? Be honest with yourself. You might as well be having an affair with her. And what's creepy is her husband watching the action like it's some freak show. I am not sure how people are able to do this kind of shit. It is beyond me. We aren't animals! Not to mention how much respect do you have for HER if she is doing this in front of her husband? Do you want to win the prize of a whore for a girlfriend who will probably do this to you someday, sooner than you think? Hmmmm.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 July 2017):

olderthandirt agony auntYou're instincts are right stay away from involvement with freaks like this. It can only end badly.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2017):

Stay out of this mess. Listen to your own values, conscience, and male-instincts. Males are naturally competitive and protective of our mates. How long do you think this is going to be okay? When do you think his feelings of inadequacy and jealousy will kick-in?

Let this whole ordeal fizzle-out and pass. If he can't perform, you're supposed to be a friend; not the stud on call to fulfill his duties to his wife. You're a guy sticking his wick where it doesn't belong.

He's feeding his live-porn fetish, you're the treat, and eventually his wife is going to become emotionally attached. Then you'll have an even bigger mess on your hands. Think you're going to get your jollies and just walkaway?

Stay out of the sex-lives of married-people. That's not what friends are for. Even if you have their permission, with such pleasures come horrendous consequences.

He's your friend now, but when you and his wife get too emotionally-attached; he'll be your worst enemy!

Don't believe it? Keep it up!

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (8 July 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntMaybe he has problems getting an erection, hence the inability to perform. He may have agreed his wife could have sex with another bloke on the proviso that he could be there and watch. Whatever his "reason", the issue is between the two of them and they should not be involving a third party, especially a friend.

What will happen if you or the wife develop feelings for each other? That is not at all unusual in a situation like this.

Why have you not asked them what is going on? How can you be comfortable enough to have sex with your friend's wife in front of him but not be able to discuss with them what is going on in their relationship?

I am sure you don't need anyone to spell out to you that this is likely to end badly for at least one of you, if not all of you.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (8 July 2017):

You friend has a cuckold fetish or a hot wife fantasy. It is more common than you would think. Personally I wouldn't do it. But since you've already done it once and clearly they are keen on it enjoy the ride.

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