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*aura1318 agony aunt

*aura1318

Malaysia  (Female   XML/RSS

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*aura1318's profile:

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate you friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.

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My husband left me for his young mistress. Will they work out in the future?

Q.   i am the typical story of the wife whos husband left for the young mistress. im sick of hearing that a husband never leaves in those circumstances because im proof that they do. He was happy until she came into the equation and then he completely ...

A.   12 June 2008: You can obtain a judgment by default against him and is binding.... (read in full...)

My husband left me for his young mistress. Will they work out in the future?

Q.   i am the typical story of the wife whos husband left for the young mistress. im sick of hearing that a husband never leaves in those circumstances because im proof that they do. He was happy until she came into the equation and then he completely ...

A.   1 June 2008: It is all a matter of perceptions. What you see may not be what you get. Saying is one thing but doing is another. Some people may say it out but may not do what they said. What is said today may not be applicable somewhere down the ro... (read in full...)

My husband left me for his young mistress. Will they work out in the future?

Q.   i am the typical story of the wife whos husband left for the young mistress. im sick of hearing that a husband never leaves in those circumstances because im proof that they do. He was happy until she came into the equation and then he completely ...

A.   30 May 2008: At this moment you are buffeted by strong winds and the storm in your life has not abated. Keep your eyes focus on Jesus or your aims in life. Do not let anything distract you. Take each day at a time and do not think too much about tho... (read in full...)

My husband left me for his young mistress. Will they work out in the future?

Q.   i am the typical story of the wife whos husband left for the young mistress. im sick of hearing that a husband never leaves in those circumstances because im proof that they do. He was happy until she came into the equation and then he completely ...

A.   28 May 2008: Treat him like a good friend and you will slowly win him back. Since you have the physical barrier , you may need to use the phone or internet to communicate with him. Every relationship has its ups and downs. You may have to wait for tho... (read in full...)

My husband left me for his young mistress. Will they work out in the future?

Q.   i am the typical story of the wife whos husband left for the young mistress. im sick of hearing that a husband never leaves in those circumstances because im proof that they do. He was happy until she came into the equation and then he completely ...

A.   28 May 2008: If you wait under the apple tree and wait for that particular apple to fall, you may have to wait for a long time. If you want to speed up things, you may have to shake the tree or use a ladder to pluck that particular apple. If ... (read in full...)

My husband left me for his young mistress. Will they work out in the future?

Q.   i am the typical story of the wife whos husband left for the young mistress. im sick of hearing that a husband never leaves in those circumstances because im proof that they do. He was happy until she came into the equation and then he completely ...

A.   26 May 2008: If you love him , you should not back away from him but instead you should fight for him. Are you going to let somebody just steal your man away? Is your relationship not worth saving? You are going to show him that you want him back and lo... (read in full...)

Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?

Q.   Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...

A.   29 April 2008: Those who set traps for others will themself fall into it.... (read in full...)

This morning he told me it's over...but why?

Q.   ok.. so the story goes... im really good friends with this lad.. have been for quite a wile..he has tried kissin me a few times..each time ive sed no. however he tried last night wen i was really drunk, n i kissed him bak but then stopped. also ...

A.   27 April 2008: Since you did not response quickly to his text, he took it to mean that you were not interested to continue where you left off . He was piqued and hence that response from him. Quite a fickle minded fella , childish and too quick ... (read in full...)

I am succesful and enjoy the company of men but can't find any that don't want to take advantage of me!

Q.   i am a twenty seven year old female, i consider myself good looking and slim. i am college educated and i have my own business but....i never have had a boyfriend....EVER!! i enjoy the company of men dont get me wrong but i just can't find a guy ...

A.   27 April 2008: Check your attitudes towards men and try to lower down your qualifications or bar. Good luck!... (read in full...)

He gave me everything, he said he would never finish with me and he has now, I'm heartbroken please help me x

Q.   i have been with my fiance for 6 years and we have a 4 year old son together, we split up recently because he hit me, but i forgave him, i love him so much and he said he finished so he doesnt do it again, which i do understand, but if you love ...

A.   27 April 2008: This is like the winter season in your world. There is nothing much you can do about the cold but to only hunker down and wait till winter is over . Meanwhile ,find something worthwhile to occupy your time and when summer comes, the sun w... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant with his baby and didn't know he was married! I really need some help!

Q.   I have fallen in love and had a 1 yr affair with a married 53 yr. old man that has been married for 18 years and has 2 kids (17 and 13yrs). I didn't know he was married until 6mo into the relationship. He claims that he is madly in love with me ...

A.   27 April 2008: You need to talk and discuss with him about your baby and your future. If he is off no help , then you would need to handle it all by yourself.. You have to decide if you want to keep the baby or not. Don't rush , take your time to come t... (read in full...)

Will it be different to have sex with a white girl since my new girlfriend is coloured?

Q.   hi i've been going out with this girl for about 2months now and we'eve agreed to have sex together pretty soon. but will it be different to have sex with a white girl since my new girlfriend is coloured? is it any better having sex with a coloured...

A.   27 April 2008: The proof is in the pudding. You got to taste it to see what it is like. No two men is alike. What is meat to one, is poison to another. ... (read in full...)

Last night me and my boyfriend had an argument, it was over something silly-do I beg him not to leave me now?

Q.   Last night me and my boyfriend had an argument, it was over something silly but it went from something little to big. He said he felt trapped and im always on his case, ive said im sorry so many time and how i need him and truely love him, im begin...

A.   27 April 2008: If you have apologized, there is no more you can do. It appears that you love him more than he loves you. Don't beg him or appear to be clingy , it will turn him off. Just take a time out and after a few days , the situation will not be th... (read in full...)

What should I do about his complaining when I fulfill all of my domestic responsibilities?!

Q.   I work, I study, I clean/cook the house, I care for 2 kids, I'm 27 and he still complains? What should I do Please help!...

A.   27 April 2008: Perhaps he comes from a family where his mother dotes on him. You are an extension of his mother and thus he expects everything from you but seldom gives back or acknowledge your needs. Some men can be callous and obtuse.They only know ho... (read in full...)

Does anyone else have a fantasy about being watched while having sex?

Q.   I have these fantasies of another man and\or woman watching me and my boyfriend making love, is this nonsense or is this a turn on for you as well?...

A.   26 April 2008: Some people at some time in their life have this exhibitionist tendencies to show off their sexual prowess or skills like those porn stars... It is one of those fantasies...... (read in full...)

My boyfriend broke up with me because of something in his past. How am I supposed to handle this?

Q.   My boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago... i didn't do anything wrong neither did he but something happened in the past that he couldn't handle. now he is being so horrible to me... things at home are not good and he's the only friend i can tell ...

A.   26 April 2008:  I am very sorry for your break up. Nobody wants to break up but sometimes it is inevitable. When we fall down , we will have to stand up and walk again. There is this site which will advise you on those steps to take to get over the hurt... (read in full...)

I feel really depressed my boyfriend is in jail!

Q.   Ok well my problem is with my boyfriend. He's gone to jail for basically being in the wrong place at the wrong time. His friend stabbed a guy and my boyfriend was there, but he didnt do anything, and now he refuses to say his friend did it. I dont't ...

A.   26 April 2008: I am sorry about your b/f. I hope he will tell the truth and the evidence will not point to him. If he is innocent, he will not be charged. There is nothing you can do until they release him or on bail. You will have to sweat it out... (read in full...)

He enjoys fellatio whereas he doesn't even touch me in the private area... because he's religious! Any advice?

Q.   Hi All I'm 45, in a relatively new relationship (six months). My guy (47) is very religious (Catholic) and believes that sex outside of marriage is a sin. I respect his views and though its not easy, I abide by them (mostly). We have had sex a f...

A.   26 April 2008: If you like him and his form of religion, then you should just accept him as he is. I don't think you can change his mindset but you may try . If touching you is more important , than you need to look for someone else.... (read in full...)

I go to church, even though I gave head there, so I've changed! How do I let people know this?

Q.   People make fun of me because of my "sex life" but it's passst ;; and i've changed ! in my "lifetime" i've given head to 3 people i have had sex once, but it was in a church, i've gotten fingered 4 times.....and i know it sounds bad but recentley ...

A.   26 April 2008: It is time to leave them and find new friends. You don't have to convince others that you have changed. They can take it or leave it.... (read in full...)

I just give and give. It is so one sided. Is it worth it?

Q.   Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. i love him soo much. i do anything he wants, he hasnt got a job or a license so i drive him everywhere and buy stuff for him. he doesnt invite me out, blames me on our problems and makes me chose ...

A.   26 April 2008: 'Casting pearls before swines!' Those swines will not know and appreciate the value of those pearls. Don't waste those pearls. Give it to someone who can really appreciate them.... (read in full...)

Is having no sex unhealthy?

Q.   Would it be unhealthy to remain a virgin for my whole life?...

A.   26 April 2008: There are always two sides in this argument. There are those for and those against... You don't know who to believe. You can read my take here;- can you live without sex? http://laura1318.wordpress.co... (read in full...)

Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?

Q.   Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...

A.   26 April 2008:  You are in an emotionally and abusive relationship. He slapped you because he could not hold back or control his anger anymore .He has a rage which he could not control. You should leave or stop the argument before that point. Your h... (read in full...)

Being Raped hasn't ruined or changed my life...i kinda enjoyed it...Whats wrong with me?Am i a freak?

Q.   Hi,im Naoko im 20 years old and when i was 19 i was raped... I just wanna know if im a freak Being Raped hasn't ruined or changed my life...i kinda enjoyed it...Whats wrong with me?Am i a freak?...

A.   25 April 2008: It could be because of your culture and your feudal system, a culture that inhibits women from talking about their abuse and a legal system that is lenient on rape. When a Japanese woman is raped or sexually abused, most often she has n... (read in full...)

What should I do about his complaining when I fulfill all of my domestic responsibilities?!

Q.   I work, I study, I clean/cook the house, I care for 2 kids, I'm 27 and he still complains? What should I do Please help!...

A.   25 April 2008: The problem is that you have pampered him too much and he has taken you for granted. You have two options to choose. You can continue to be like a door mat and let him walk all over you. Or you can stand up for your rights and tell him your... (read in full...)

We got married young thus I don't feel ready for the baby's arrival, I want her to agree with me on the abortion!

Q.   My wife lost are baby a year ago and is now 2 months pregnant with another child im worried about her. She is not letting me touch her and is in bed all the time she is letting it take over her life. I want to hold her i knwo she is scared i just...

A.   24 April 2008: You should not have got married in the first place. Why did you marry? You should have bailed out. You should act like a responsible ,rational and matured husband to your wife. This is the time when she needs the most support and yet you... (read in full...)

My husband left me for his young mistress. Will they work out in the future?

Q.   i am the typical story of the wife whos husband left for the young mistress. im sick of hearing that a husband never leaves in those circumstances because im proof that they do. He was happy until she came into the equation and then he completely ...

A.   24 April 2008: I admire your spirit and fortitude. Thats the way you should handle life's problems. Leave every thing to God and accept the will of God. Things happened for a purpose and you will see the full picture when God reveals them to you. ... (read in full...)

He seems to have gone religion-crazy, being old-fashioned and rude. Help and advice, please!

Q.   what am I suppose to do with my husband? He is so caught up in his religion. He think that whatever he say about the bible is correct and my knowledge is wrong. Well, I do know something about the bible and I do know how to read and understand ...

A.   24 April 2008: How can he profess the love of God in him when he does not treat and love you in the right way? Tell him to marry the church and ask him to stay in that church. If you love God, you must honour your wife and parents. Many Christians gave ... (read in full...)

Had oral sex without protection with him last year, and recently found out he has an sti! Should I get checked too?

Q.   Hi, i'm a bit worried as i was seeing a guy last year and we didnt have sex without protecttion (a condom) but we did do oral sex without a condom. A couple weeks ago i found out hes got an sti, do you think it would be a good idea to get checked ...

A.   24 April 2008: As a safety precaution and for your peace of mind , you need to go for a check up even if you don't exhibit any symptoms for now. ... (read in full...)

Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?

Q.   Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...

A.   24 April 2008: Whether I accept or don't accept domestic violence, it will be there. I will not be like an ostrich and keep my head under the sand. Yeah! I can rant about domestic violence but will domestic violence stop? You can be holistic and say what... (read in full...)

He wants to date other girls and to continue to date me as well. Is he really interested in me?

Q.   i dated a guy twice two weeks ago. when he called me for our third date, i reminded him that i was not comfortable dating a man who was dating other women at the same time, he didn't say anything at all at that time but later on the same day of our ...

A.   24 April 2008: He is dating other girls because he wants to find out which girl is more suitable to be his long term partner. He has not make up his mind yet . He could also be suffering from 'Attention Deficit Syndrome.' You are like those gifts on t... (read in full...)

He tells me he loves me but he won't ask me out! Should I let him go?

Q.   there is this guy i like for almost nine years. and he knows i love him. he always gets red when he sees me or smiles at me... hes aways joking around with me all the time. sometimes he say i love you but doesn't ask me out should i let him ...

A.   24 April 2008: No! Don't let him go but put him in the cold storage room. You are still young and there will be many more admirers in your life. Many doors will open before you and explore your new world. ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him that I really don't like him like that?

Q.   There is this guy that has liked me since forever. I think like in freshman year and I graduated in 07.. So its been a while. I never really liked him but I kinda do. Its like I'm not physically attracted to him, but am to his personality. Well now ...

A.   24 April 2008:  You have two options, the slow or the quick way. No matter how you sugar coat it, it would be a bitter pill for him to swallow. You could slowly disengage and withdraw from his world and he would get your message that you are not int... (read in full...)

Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?

Q.   Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...

A.   24 April 2008: Domestic violence is here to stay whether you like it or not. It may not happen in your world but it could be in others. This is not a perfect world like Heaven where there is no strife. It would be better to understand and learn wha... (read in full...)

Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?

Q.   Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...

A.   24 April 2008: Not all men are the same. Different men react differently . Some people have very short fuse , while others have very long fuse. You need to know where not to press his ballistic buttons. Be wise, if you know there are vipers in the sna... (read in full...)

Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?

Q.   Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...

A.   24 April 2008: Yes! We can all stand on the high pedestal and pass your moral judgments on this issue without understanding those factors that caused them to hit out at their partners. You don't want to know or learn why or what caused them to hit out .... (read in full...)

What can I do to prepare myself for the abortion? I fear that it's going to be heartbreaking.

Q.   this is gonna sound really stupid, but i've gotta go for a scan of my baby that i've recently decided to have terminated due to a change of circumstances with the baby's father. it is the eight week scan and i've been looking on the internet at pict...

A.   24 April 2008: Someday when you grow older and wiser and reflect back on what you said today,you will learn what a tragedy . A tragic decision which will haunt you forever. Like those Lemmings which all rushed over the cliff and drowned.... (read in full...)

How do I move on with my life?

Q.   How do you forget about someone and get on with your life?? I was having an affair with a married man for 4 months and it has now ended as we've both decided to make it work with our current partners (he has 3 children). We have both told our ...

A.   24 April 2008: You are like a ship which has lost the directions.. You need to take control and then head to the direction you want. Ask yourself , what do you want in life? What is your ambitions and goals? Work and focus towards that direction. ... (read in full...)

He said I stole his ambition? What is he thinking!? I'm so confused...

Q.   Ok so my boyfriend and I were together for 4 years and then about 3 weeks ago he broke up with me. He told me that I didnt support the things he wanted to do. He said all I want is marriage and kids. He said I tried to steal his ambition and that ...

A.   24 April 2008: He is having second thoughts or he has lost interest in this relationship. He is like an aircraft going into a tail spin. He is becoming highly critical of you and this means that his love for you is at a very low ebb. There is nothing... (read in full...)

How am I supposed to have sex with someone who could be paralyzed from the waist down?!

Q.   okayy. my boyfriend went to the doctor like 2 days ago. They said a disk in his back was out of place and if he plays any sports or messes up his back in anyway he will become paralyzed (sp?)from the waist down. when he told me that i tryed to ...

A.   24 April 2008: He should not be playing against the doctor's orders. If he were to take a direct hit, it would aggravate his situation and anything can happen. Better to take precautions than regret for life. It is not wise to play against the doctor's adv... (read in full...)

Threesome gone wrong!!! He's always told me he could never be with another women, yet when given the chance he chooses her over me!

Q.   Hello, I have a major problem with sleeping all of a sudden due to something that my husband and I did in the past, about a year ago. My husband has always wanted a threesome with another girl, and being sexually open, I thought , what the heck...

A.   23 April 2008: It was a once in a lifetime and it happened. You should forgive him for what happened. You should not blame him entirely. You gave him a new toy , definitely he would like to play with the new toy more than the old one. Don't be too sel... (read in full...)

Is my married sex life normal or is our marriage in trouble?

Q.   I have been married for nearly two years and practically have no sex life to speak of, we are lucky to do it once ever 2-3 months. Is our marriage in trouble? or is this the norm...?...

A.   23 April 2008: Do you always let him initiate the sex ? Maybe, you need to communicate with him and tell him your needs and try to understand what is his problems.... (read in full...)

Our relationship ended 6 months ago, he's given me some hope, can it work again?

Q.   me and my ex have been over for about 6 months. we dated for 7 months. he is honestly the one i love. we are still good friends.i still like him and i think he still has feelings for me..he told me about a month ago that there will always be ...

A.   23 April 2008: Fall in love with him again .. Start all over again...... (read in full...)

We have a lot in common and he's never ONCE treated me badly, unlike my ex'es. Why don't I love him?

Q.   I have this AMAZING friend. He has truly proved himself to me that he is amazing. I mean most guys wouldn't bother being 'friends' with me if they knew they had no chance with me, but this guy, he doesn't care, he just likes me for me and really ...

A.   23 April 2008: There are two categories of men. They are either friends or potential mates. If your mind has decided that he is a friend, he will forever be a friend. You judged him and do not think you will marry him and thus you cannot find the wil... (read in full...)

6 months pregnant and separated from my partner, who initially wanted to break any contact! Now he seems to have changed his mind, his behaviour is confusing!

Q.   hi, i'm new to this but need bit of advice. i'm 6 months pregnant and have split with my partner. he said he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby but has since seemed to have changed his mind.i've had to move out and go live with my ...

A.   23 April 2008: No doubt your main concern is your baby and yourself but sometimes you need to share what you are going through with somebody. Just give him some space and maybe you need to spell out to him what you expect from him. That way he knows wha... (read in full...)

My boyfriend told me to get over my insecurities because I have no real problems, was he right?

Q.   a big reason for my break up with my boyfriend of a year is due to my insecurities. I used to be a little overweight in highschool, i was always the funny girl, and never had a relationship. and university is when i really, i guess blossomed and, i ...

A.   23 April 2008: He is not bad . He is just a typical bloke . Ofcourse , you would like him to say things that you want to hear from him but unfortunately many blokes are wired in that way. They are crude and lack finesse. Just like a rough diamond. ... (read in full...)

I told my boyfriend at the end of our relationship I was molested as a child and he didnt care.

Q.   my boyfriend and i of one year have been having many problems the last 3 months, he never said it was over, just "this isn't worth it anymore" and "you need to find another guy" but never officially that, we were through. we had another fight and i ...

A.   23 April 2008: Simply because he does not love you anymore and he is trying to get rid of you from his system. His mind is shutting you off. I am sorry if I appear to be harsh. You will have to leave him alone to decide if it is final or not. Give h... (read in full...)

He said to text him as he was interested in me but he's never replied. What is going on?

Q.   me and my family have our own static caravan in wales.. we go p really frequently.. every weekend when we can.. and during school holidays we are like always there. as we are there quite a lot me and my younger sister have become pretty good friends ...

A.   23 April 2008: I hope you got the right numbers . Maybe, you need to ask him when you meet again. Instead of texting, why not call and speak to him? A technical matter or he has some problems.... (read in full...)

I have the implant, recently I've been feeling sick and get a face rash...any ideas?

Q.   I have the implant in my arm it is due to come out in june since last week my stomach has been feeling very sensitive and this week i have been being sick but more feeling sick and not actually being sick. When i am sick red rash comes out all over ...

A.   23 April 2008: You need to go to the GP for a correct and proper diagnosis. ... (read in full...)

Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?

Q.   Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...

A.   23 April 2008: Sure it is easy to say 'Never ' to hit another person. Maybe, you can be like God and even under extreme provocations ,insults ,abused and challenged ; you can still smile and like it is nothing. Maybe, you have never experienced those ... (read in full...)

Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?

Q.   Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...

A.   23 April 2008: I do not condone slapping but just stating the facts that it happens wherever you are, civilized or uncivilized or barbarian nation. Lots of crimes even more heinous can happen in those so called civilized nations. Whether you are in a ... (read in full...)

Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?

Q.   Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...

A.   23 April 2008: You can make all kinds of laws by your govt. but it does not negate the fact , that a man is only human. A slap is not as worse as a punch in the face or eye when the other person is a male. Yeah! There are laws but you cannot prevent peopl... (read in full...)

My husband left me for his young mistress. Will they work out in the future?

Q.   i am the typical story of the wife whos husband left for the young mistress. im sick of hearing that a husband never leaves in those circumstances because im proof that they do. He was happy until she came into the equation and then he completely ...

A.   23 April 2008: What goes around, comes around. He dumped you and she will dumped him for someone younger. Her needs and demands from him would be too much for him to handle . Their needs are incompatible. Man are creatures of habit. When he left ... (read in full...)

He wants to date other girls and to continue to date me as well. Is he really interested in me?

Q.   i dated a guy twice two weeks ago. when he called me for our third date, i reminded him that i was not comfortable dating a man who was dating other women at the same time, he didn't say anything at all at that time but later on the same day of our ...

A.   23 April 2008: Why settle for someone who is not available and who plays to the gallery? Just enjoy your single hood and abide your time and wait for a whole man who will give you all his attentions. Forget him and move on.... (read in full...)

Under what circumstances is a slap justifiable during an argument between spouses?

Q.   Is it alright that a husband slaps his wife in the face during an argument? If so, under what circumstances is it justfiable?...

A.   23 April 2008: Belittling him and insulting him and his family and when he asked or warned you to stop but you continue with your tirade against him. You went past his tolerance limits and he slapped you for breaking his limits. No man wants to slap ... (read in full...)

6 months pregnant and separated from my partner, who initially wanted to break any contact! Now he seems to have changed his mind, his behaviour is confusing!

Q.   hi, i'm new to this but need bit of advice. i'm 6 months pregnant and have split with my partner. he said he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby but has since seemed to have changed his mind.i've had to move out and go live with my ...

A.   22 April 2008: When you broke up with him, he could have said it out of anger and not his real feelings. He could be confused and disorientated after the break up. Maybe , he came to realize that he was wrong and wanted to correct the situation . I... (read in full...)

6 months pregnant and separated from my partner, who initially wanted to break any contact! Now he seems to have changed his mind, his behaviour is confusing!

Q.   hi, i'm new to this but need bit of advice. i'm 6 months pregnant and have split with my partner. he said he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby but has since seemed to have changed his mind.i've had to move out and go live with my ...

A.   21 April 2008: He is trying to get back with you and you should not throw any road blocks in his path. Give him more time as Rome was not build in a day. He may have realized his mistakes and trying to make amends with you. A friend is better than an... (read in full...)

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