If it's over, why does he care?
Q. I had recently connected with an old boyfriend via Facebook. When I was 20 and he was 28 we dated on and off for 3 years but he ended up breaking up with me to marry someone else. We went our separate ways, both married other, had kids etc... ...
A. 23 April 2014: It's over, he's just hanging onto hope because he was rejected and was is heartbroken. You're a rebound, obviously. That's not to say he actually wants to be with her, and doesn't have feelings for you, it's just the nature of the beast. ... (read in full...)
Should I get rid of this guy because he seems to be hiding something? I'd love to hear your interpretations of his text messages
Q. I have had the most awful experiences with online dating, and am really skeptical about every man I meet now. I'm not sure if I'm looking for red flags because I'm so afraid of not spotting them. I've been on three dates with this 29-year-old...
A. 23 April 2014: Tell him to tell his wife to mind her own business.
Anyways, it's obviously strange. I think the suggestion of stopping by isn't a bad one. It's possible he is reasonably sure you guys will be having sex and he knows the neighbors will here.
... (read in full...)
Which of the two guys should I choose?
Q. hello, I'm stuck between two guys and I need an advice. "guy no1" is the "good looking", "im perfect" kind of guy and I dislike that but at the same time he doesn't act like that around me, in fact I pushed him away so many times and he still ma...
A. 23 April 2014: I don't see why you don't date both of them. Don't commit until you have a better idea of who's right for you.
That's what "dating" is all about.
The thing is, you don't want to risk waiting too long to commit as that can cause complicati... (read in full...)
How do I get happy with becoming a hermit?
Q. I'm 26 year old male, and I never dated. My biological mother died at age 3, so I never had the proper nurturing to be ok. Socializing is hard for me since I am autistic, and because of my social awkwardness (avoiding eye contact, etc) no girl even ...
A. 23 April 2014: 26 isn't that old, there are many people who take time getting comfortable with the opposite sex. What will kill it for you is not autism or awkwardness, it's resentment and the other negative things brought on by loneliness.
My advice is to reali... (read in full...)
I love her and want to be with her, but she's stressing me out!
Q. Hi. Basically I'm in a situation and need some advice from someone outside it. My best friends think I should end it but I'm not sure. I met my girlfriend 12 months ago at work and instantly fell for her, we were soon dating and then she got let go ...
A. 23 April 2014: Let me tell you something that I've learned to accept and wish I knew it a long time ago: love is easy to come by, but compatibility is what really makes a great relationship.
You have little compatibility with this girl, hence the problems... (read in full...)
He knows I have a terrible relationship with my husband so why has he suddenly gone cold on me?
Q. I've been in a horrible relationship for too long but don't want to leave because of my son. When he had finished his gcses in July then I WILL be leaving. My boyfriend is controlling, abusive and has mistreated me for many years. 6 months ago I...
A. 23 April 2014: He's gone cold because he probably realized he shouldn't be talking to a married woman.... (read in full...)
My granny is still in business with my ex, who dumped me!
Q. Is it alright? My boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago, it wasn't mutual, he wanted out and I was devastated. We met when we were 19 (now 24) and lived together for 4 years in a place owned by my grandparents. He broke up with me in a very cru...
A. 22 April 2014: Sorry to have to be the one to inform you of this, but the world doesn't revolve around you.
You thought enough of this guy to marry him and convince your grandma to sign a legally binding contract and loan him a half a million pounds. Now that... (read in full...)
Are these feeling of attraction normal chemistry and I should forget them?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts/Uncles, Wonder if anyone can give me some good advice? I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5/3 years, with a rocky middle part inc. a 3 month break up. (Due to lack of maturity on his part and he's worked hard to piece us back tog...
A. 22 April 2014: Attraction is okay but it can easily turn into something inappropriate.
I think you have a pretty good understanding of the situation. The new guy seems great because, let's face it, the less you know about someone the better. Your brain fills in... (read in full...)
Keep thinking about my boyfriends ex irrationally. Help!
Q. Hi there, Having some trouble with my boyfriends ex. I am 22, he is my first serious boyfriend, and consequently the first guy I felt comfortable enough sleeping with. we've been together about half a year, but for some weird reason I cannot st...
A. 22 April 2014: I would recommend seeing a behavioral therapist, they can help you get rid of this trait, which will definitely affect your relationships.
There are drugs that may make this symptom go away, but if you get off them you'll still have this problem.... (read in full...)
My landlord's staring makes me uncomfortable!
Q. Hi, i need a mans point of view on this, my landlord always flirts with me, and i noticed him staring at my chest more than my face when he speaks to make, i now put on jumpers to make sure i don't encourage him, but he still does it, just there i ...
A. 22 April 2014: I don't think you need a man's point if view, you need to talk with him, probably with a note. You should also see if he has a boss. If he's the owner you may end up having to move to prevent it since staring is inappropriate, not illegal.
But y... (read in full...)
Would it bother you to learn that your bf/gf had smoked weed in the past?
Q. Hi Everyone! Quick question here: When I was dating my ex-bf I told him that I had smoked weed with some friends a few times before we started dating (I was 21 at the time and had smoked a total of 7 times in my life) and he FREAKED out, and sa...
A. 22 April 2014: Your ex sounds like a wierdo. BTW I live in Washington and people here obviously don't care, especially younger people.
Either way if you can't be yourself with someone they're the wrong person.... (read in full...)
He doesn't know I have access to his emails ....
Q. Dear All, I have had a volatile 2 year relationship with my bf for around 3 years. In the last few months I have felt stronger and been going out again with friends, standing up to him and generally getting over it. He has responded by bei...
A. 21 April 2014: He's cheating on you, period.
I'd be willing to bet that he's cheating because he's insecure and you're snooping because you're insecure and he's paying attention to you more because he's insecure and is afraid of rejection and being alone.
... (read in full...)
I don't believe him when he says he won't seek sex elsewhere when I'm recovering from childbirth!
Q. hi all i am seven months pregnant with my first baby. she wasn't planned but my boyfriend and i were over overjoyed. my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years and are deeply in love. we've always had a great sex life and since i've be...
A. 20 April 2014: Unless he's cheated in the past I think you're being unfair. Pregnant women can often be a little "crazy" from hormones, so keep that in mind when you're feeling this way. Its as much your hormones talking as anything.
Also, in my experien... (read in full...)
I only reconnected with my ex so we could be friends, but I think he wants more
Q. A bit of an odd question. I reached out to an ex of mine because enough time had passed where we didn't speak and I thought of just asking to remain friends. We dated for only 4 months, nothing too serious. The awkward part is that he seems to...
A. 19 April 2014: There's no point in continuing contact with him since he's made it clear that he only wants sex and you're obviously not interested.... (read in full...)
Should I ask her about her sexual past?
Q. I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...
A. 18 April 2014: Okay, ask her. She'll either tell the truth or lie.
If she tells you whatever it is you want to hear, will you believe her? If she tells you she slept with 10 guys will you believe that? If she tells you the truth will you punish her for being ho... (read in full...)
Would you date a busy person?
Q. My son has grown up and left home and I've met someone lovely who works shifts and also does voluntary work leading teens for outdoor awards some week ends. I really like him and he wants it to work. He was being honest saying his last two ex's ...
A. 17 April 2014: This is an easy question. Are you happy only seeing him once a week and for a few hours here and there? Even if you were to fall in love?
If not, forget about it.... (read in full...)
He stopped talking to me when I 'liked' a picture on facebook
Q. Hey ! We only dated for like 2 months, but nothing happened between us because i wasn't ready for a relationship. One year later I contacted him to apologize for my bad behvaviour and that we could be friends. He added me three months ago...
A. 17 April 2014: I think you're thinking too much. ... (read in full...)
He changed his relationship status and I'm confused!
Q. Hello all:) okay so here is my question... i met this guy online about 6years ago. A year later i finally agreed to meet him, and it was great - no awkward silences etc. It felt as if i had known him my whole life. he works on cruise ships, an...
A. 17 April 2014: He wants sex. Who cares about the rest if you're just friends?... (read in full...)
I don't deserve the way he ended it
Q. My ex broke up with me over a year. It was nasty. He's my first and it was his longest and the most serious relationship. However, he left without giving me the real reason. I initiated contact a few times. He still told me he loved me, but he never ...
A. 16 April 2014: Breaups are never fun, but you're not doing yourself any favors by holding onto a grudge. Instead of hating him for "what he did to you", you need to realize that relationships between incompatible people are bound to fail. Its completely normal, ... (read in full...)
My friend down the street is befriending my worst enemy who also lives on the same street!
Q. A few months ago my neighbor (who used to be a friend) called my husband up and proclaimed her love for him and with no inhibitions said she wanted to sleep with him and divorce her husband. My husband told me right away and we have shut this ...
A. 16 April 2014: You are being way too controlling. You've said what you have to say but Jill is a grown woman and can hang our with whoever she wants. Its time for you to be mature enough to let her without throwing a tantrum.... (read in full...)
I feel like I failed as a girlfriend
Q. I'm feeling hurt and in need of some advice.. I talked to my ex boyfriend recently (whom I am still in love with) and he said although I was "great" he was unhappy in our relationship. I am very hurt by this because I really tried my absolute best...
A. 16 April 2014: A line worth repeating is "A girlfriend's job (and a boyfriend's as well) isn't to "make" the other person happy".
This is very true, because if you're compatible with someone you won't have to make them happy. They'll be happy to be with you beca... (read in full...)
She's changed and is pushing me away!
Q. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 13 years and has 4 wonderful children together,we talked and agreed that it was time to marry however since moving jobs she has changed a great deal,when ever I try to be intimate she pushes me ...
A. 16 April 2014: I don't want to worry you, but has it occurred to you that she may be cheating? A change of job bringing this on is suspect.
Even if she's not cheating I unfortunately feel like you have no option other than to take her advice. When you're w... (read in full...)
When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?
Q. When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....
A. 16 April 2014: Its different for each guy, that's why they have point of view porn. I don't tend to fixate on the woman as much as the act itself.... (read in full...)
Should I be friends with him or not? I think I am attracted to him though I am happily married and deeply in love with my husband!
Q. I have been married for 6 years and I am deeply in love with my husband . However I have a friend very close to my heart and we get along really well ! We like each other's company and do spend a lot of time chatting on Facebook ! Recently, I have ...
A. 16 April 2014: You're approaching the time period in a relationship when many people start to get a wandering eye, so that's normal.
But you have to learn where to draw the line so that things don't escalate and you don't risk your marriage.
That point is... (read in full...)
Should I go back to my husband with a new set of rules?
Q. After 5 years of relationship and 10 years of marriage,which both work and I was happy with a lot of things,but in the middle of the marriage things started to happening. At the beginning of our marriage he would play a game like loosing his wall...
A. 15 April 2014: Unfortunately he won't change. The reason I know for sure is that people will usually promise the world to you to get you to come back. He won't even promise to stop seeing other women, so why would you waste your time? Make a clean break and wait ... (read in full...)
I've been debating asking her out for months or waiting for the right moment but nothing seems to work!
Q. I am currently at school right now and met a girl I find I really like a lot. We transferred in the same semester (this is both our first semesters) and are in a class together, often get paired in group projects together, etc. I've been debating ...
A. 15 April 2014: You can't lose what you don't have. Right now you just have a crush on someone, it doesn't sound like there's a relationship of any sorts or even a friendship.
If I was you I'd learn a valuable lesson here: don't wait for some magical moment t... (read in full...)
Is there one person you've never got over?
Q. Is there one person you've never got over? When I was in my early 20s I had a brief (2 year) relationship with a man. He was the first man to ever treat me properly and he was the perfect gentleman - for the first 18 months at least! The last ...
A. 15 April 2014: Believe it or not, its kind of evolutionarily wired into us to have these thoughts. Its too complicated to explain here, but rest assured that its normal and maybe the realization that its not him that makes you feel this way, but instinct might ... (read in full...)
I just feel hopeless
Q. Ive been involved with this guy (b) who is 16 yrs older than i am, our relationship began my i cheated on my ex (A) with him, but my ex (A) was cheating and treating me badly before i met this guy and i use to complain and tell him what was ...
A. 15 April 2014: I think the problem here isn't your boyfriends, its you. There are a lot of assholes out there, and its your job to avoid them. I know that sounds harsh but what's the point of me being critical of your boyfriends? Everyone knows they were jerks, ... (read in full...)
Why has he stopped communicating, and why did he check my profile?
Q. Hi, should i take myself off the dating website that i am currently on? I have met a really nice guy via this dating site and we are going to meet in 2 weeks. We have been communicating for more than a few months now. It is because of me, t...
A. 15 April 2014: Men don't know how all men think. I have no idea what his thought process is, I'm just commenting to let you know that I think you're handling things correctly and you shouldn't worry about a guy you've never met.
You have nothing invested... (read in full...)
I know that we'd be better together than he is with his current girlfriend, but how I do I handle this?
Q. Long story short, I like my guy friend. We met through a campus organization and have known one another for a year. As I am preparing to enter the executive board of the club this year, we have gotten closer as he is already on board. He is a g...
A. 15 April 2014: So you respect him because "he'd never make a move on you while in a relationship", so you want to know how you can get him out of that relationship? Is that different than cheating? To me it sounds like bending the rules.
The best you can do i... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling so lonely all the time?
Q. To make a long story short, I've always felt very lonely. As a kid my parents moved me around a lot and to different schools and I never really made any friends. High School was pretty bad because I was bullied. I have always been on the chubby side ...
A. 15 April 2014: Maybe you should talk with your parents about how you feel and ask if you could go see a counselor or therapist. You may have some social issues. Even if you don't a therapist would be beneficial.
It also sounds like you're too isolated. I've nev... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I need to just be blunt, ask him his salary and then maybe nip it in the bud if it is too little money. Should I be honest?
Q. I'm in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would maybe prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a sweet guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very ...
A. 13 April 2014: If you do he'll probably never talk to you again, even if he makes good money. Terrible idea!... (read in full...)
I'm completely confused as to where I actually stand now, and I don't want to lose him!
Q. Me and my boyfriend (ex boyfriend, i dont know what to call him) have been together for a year and two months, well we had. We were friends for four years before getting together. Through our relationship when it first began, it came out that he had ...
A. 12 April 2014: You've essentially given your boyfriend a pass to do whatever he wants, so where you stand is where you'll likely be for awhile: on the side while he does what he wants with little or no regard to how it makes you feel.
Your boyfriend not bringing... (read in full...)
Should I date a guy who does drugs?
Q. Would this put you off someone ?. I met a guy recently. He seems really nice,and it seems like we have things in common, but something happened today which made me feel uncomfortable. I was in a pub with him. Another woman who was in the pub...
A. 12 April 2014: Anyone who says "smoked drugs" has definitely never done drugs.
Anyways, if its weed then that's pretty common. If its something else then you're probably with the wring guy unless that was an isolated incident or something. People can change.... (read in full...)
I'm at a crossroads, do I work things out with my ex or stay with my new boyfriend?
Q. Hello! I am taking the time in advance for taking the time to read my agony and for any help you may provide. I also apologize for the lenghty paragraph. I am at a crossroads. I have an ex husband who I was with for 6 years and we have a...
A. 11 April 2014: Obviously, picking things up where you and your ex left off would be crazy. Why don't the two of you work on the problems that led you to want to kill each other. Is an environment like that healthy for your child?... (read in full...)
I found two long blonde hairs in my room and am worried my husband is cheatig again!
Q. Found 2 hairs that aren't mine. My husband of 5 yrs used to cheat on me via Internet and once I found out he apologised and continued it for 2 long years and perfectly made lies although I found them all out. The other day I found 2 blonde long hair ...
A. 11 April 2014: It sounds like you're suspicious and you have every right to be.but instead if spying on him you should realize that you don't need him and move on to someone who you can be happy with.
You may love him but what good is love when it comes with suc... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 11 April 2014: You know what, nobody needs friends like her. Tell him what you know and be done with her.... (read in full...)
My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know
Q. My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...
A. 10 April 2014: In the case you've described I would tell him. If you do it outright she will find out, no matter how much you make him promise he won't tell her who tipped him off.
You could write an anonymous letter, with any kind of proof you could offer, o... (read in full...)
Facebook friend question
Q. Just a quick question. I want to know would you think it was strange/weird if someone sends you a Facebook request when although you've chatted briefly you haven't exchanged names. Would you think it was odd how they managed to find out your na...
A. 10 April 2014: SVC's answer is pretty accurate. I've been surprised by who sends me fb requests, but some people just like having 700 friends. Its how they network.
If it is a stranger with no connection to you or your interests that you only spoke yo once tha... (read in full...)
Has anyone lost the love of their life? Do I keep fighting? And how do I deal with the thought of her with someone else?
Q. Hi All, Here's my situation that I need advice on: I was dating a girl for around 6 month who I was madly in love with, she was the girl of my dreams, I have never been happier. Then all of a sudden one day she turns round to me and says s...
A. 10 April 2014: For future reference, begging, pleading, flowers, etc, are all terrible ways to get someone to take you back when they tell you their feelings aren't that strong.
The best thing to do is realize that there will be other "loves of your life", a... (read in full...)
Are cheaters always cheaters?
Q. My ex constantly cheated when we were dating. I was even the one he cheated on his ex with. I forgave him everytime because I loved him and thought he loved me to death according to the commitment he gave and he would beg his parents and friends to ...
A. 9 April 2014: I think that people who are often cheating are sometimes just the type of person who has poor self control, is selfish, doesn't think of the consequences of their actions, etc. Those traits lead to serial cheating and they don't just disappear.
... (read in full...)
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