| Latest articles: Just Two
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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My feelings for her have re-emerged and anyone else seems bland by comparison!
Q. So... basically, i'm in love with one of my friends. i've known her for quite some time now (about 5 years) and have loved her ever since. when i knew that i had feelings for her, i took my courage in both hands and confessed my feelings for her. ...
A. 10 December 2012: OP you might really love this girl but you have to accept that if its not to be, then its not going to happen. You cant obviously force her to like you and frankly its her loss if she doesn't because you sound like a nice person. Let her go, ... (read in full...)
I know I'm going to break up with him. But am I right to wait until after Christmas? Should I return his Christmas presents after we break up?
Q. Something has snapped in me this week and I have finally decided, after a lot of heartache, that I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is no longer making any effort with me, and despite me bringing it up several times and him prom...
A. 9 December 2012: Do it now OP, if you've decided that you want to break up, then don't delay the inevitable. It will be very hard for you to keep up appearances just for the sake of it and why should you? You don't owe him anything. It was good while it lasted but ... (read in full...)
Should I dump a sucker like him?
Q. Since I met my boyfriend, I have constantly been spending and spending because of him. First of all, he wanted to come and visit me in my country. Unfortunately, he had no money to pay the ticket. So, I agreed to pay the ticket including the rent. ...
A. 9 December 2012: Dump him right now before he eats you out of your house and all that you've got! He's a cheap man and is just using you. Don't wait to get even more exploited, dump him now. And kiss the money goodbye and learn it as a lesson learned the hard way. ... (read in full...)
What can you suggest? I'm faithful always, but I feel like she holding my sex life hostage.
Q. I'm 29 and my girlfriend is 27. We've been together for 5 years, lived together for 4. Our relationship is and has been going well in most respects. We rarely argue and suit each other nicely. Unfortunately we have fairly different sex drives...
A. 9 December 2012: Maybe its a phase or maybe its just the simple fact that she doesn't have as high a sex drive as yours. I think you should have a frank talk with her and tell her whatever you've told us, perhaps even show her what you've written. Communication is ... (read in full...)
After 5 months of dating I'm not sure if I love him or not but he's my boss!
Q. My boss says he's in love with me and after five months of dating, I'm not sure if it's true or if I love him in return. Sometimes, I do feel like I do. But, at others, I'm so confused. We're constantly scared of getting caught since it's highly ...
A. 6 December 2012: You say that you don't want to hurt the kids, but you will end up hurting his entire family very badly. What you are doing is wrong. I know you don't want to get to a moral science class here, but I'm sorry you cant escape it. And not just that, its ... (read in full...)
Questions about glasses and contacts
Q. hi, im annoyed with glasses, in gym i when i get hit in the face with a ball my nose gets dented and hurts because of my glasses, i could take them off but i get a headace after a while. Everyone says i look really pretty without glasses, and that ...
A. 6 December 2012: Of course you can get prescription colored contacts. Just check with your eye doctor and see what brand suits you best. I've been wearing contact lenses for about 12 years now, maybe more and while I wear the regular ones (non coloured), I know for ... (read in full...)
What kind of Christmas gift should be appropriate for my girlfriend's mom?
Q. my ldr girlfriend offered me to join her and her family for christmas, my question is simple, what kind of gift should be appropiate for her mom ( she has been nice to me, but have only seen her twice ) and for her grandpa ( i havent met him yet, ...
A. 4 December 2012: You cant go wrong with perfumes and cosmetics for ladies, everyone loves them. For the grandfather, a bottle of wine would be nice. But I still think you should ask your girlfriend what their specific tastes are. She would be the best one to help ... (read in full...)
Why do I get so angry and obsessive in these types of scenarios?
Q. A friend and I had a falling out three years ago. She dropped me when I was going through a difficult period because she didn't want to deal with my "instability." At the time, I was upset. I mourned the relationship for a month or two, but I ...
A. 4 December 2012: There's nothing wrong about the way you feel, in fact it is pretty aggravating when a "friend" whom you have fallen out with just calls up and behaves as if nothing has happened. Same with an ex. They're ex boyfriends and ex friends for a reason and ... (read in full...)
My 16 year old son is in love with a woman who is 24 years older than him!
Q. My 16 year old son is in love with a woman 24 years older than hisself, he met her when he was in a Subway with friends, he's told me theyve been secretly dating for over a month now and that the relationships not based on sex but proper love. She's ...
A. 3 December 2012: OP you cant stop your son or this women from doing what they want but you can make it pretty darn miserable for them if YOU want. The ball is in your court. Don't take any drastic steps as of now, trust your son and hope that his upbringing will ... (read in full...)
What should be shared in a relationship and what should be private?
Q. What should be shared in a relationship after a year and 3 months? Is it wrong to want to see his facebook, cell phone etc? I have no problem showing mine! I feel like people with nothing to hide, hide nothing and all he says he wants is privacy! ...
A. 3 December 2012: I would have no problem showing my Facebook page or my cellphone to my B/f but what is the need? I am a firm believer in personal space and I believe that everyone needs their space. Ditto for emails. I will not share my password with my B/f, not ... (read in full...)
Would you commit to someone who treated you like this?
Q. Hello -- I've been with a girl (30) for 15 months now. Initially everything was great, but as the months wore on, some issues have came to light. She's pushing hard for commitment; living together, marriage, kids eventually, etc, and is threatening ...
A. 3 December 2012: Cautious? What cautious? Why haven't you broken up for good yet? This woman is going to drive you up the wall (if she hasn't already) with her irrational, abusive, dramatic behavior and you will just be reduced to a mute spectator and a victim ... (read in full...)
My 16 year old son is in love with a woman who is 24 years older than him!
Q. My 16 year old son is in love with a woman 24 years older than hisself, he met her when he was in a Subway with friends, he's told me theyve been secretly dating for over a month now and that the relationships not based on sex but proper love. She's ...
A. 3 December 2012: I would be extremely cautious of this woman. A 40 year old woman messing around with a 16 year old boy is really, really creepy. What kind of a counsellor is she?
All I can say is don't be rash with your kid because if you forbid him to see this... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my boyfriend's best friend who is also my ex!
Q. so me and my boyfriend,vince have been dating for almost 3 weeks now, but i'm starting to fall for his best friend,zack! however, this isn't the only problem... my boyfriends best friend is also my ex-boyfriend! Me zack (my ex-boyfriend) dated for ...
A. 3 December 2012: Leave them both alone and break up with Vince. You don't love either of them. You broke up with Zach for a reason but now you say you have feelings for him while being with someone else. You cant be this indecisive and keep playing with people's ... (read in full...)
What's the difference between sexual attraction and love?
Q. Hi, Anybody out there that can tell me What the difference is between sexual attraction And love? And doesn't it go hand in hand? Thanks...
A. 1 December 2012: Sexual attraction and love don't go hand in hand. I speak from personal experience, because when I have deeply loved a person, I have never imagined him in a sexual way. It was just very intense, deep feelings of affection that were not sexual in ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried?
Q. I am have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for two months, and things have been going a little off and on, One second she will act like I'm the best guy ever, the next she hates me. On top of that I catch her in lies all the time. She seem...
A. 1 December 2012: It does sound rocky but what exactly does she lie about? ... (read in full...)
Would you consider an internet romance to be cheating?
Q. Would it be cheating if my girlfriend went on internet and talked to some guy and they had a little romance over the internet for not a long time before i cought her. She then told me they did nothing. But I read the email and they were flirting and ...
A. 1 December 2012: Yes OP that's cheating. Many people tend to think that cheating involves sex and only sex but there are other ways of cheating too and this is one of them.... (read in full...)
I feel really jealous that he has moved on before me!
Q. A year and a half ago I met this guy, we had a fling for two weeks and he returned to his home country. Four months later I went out there to travel, but ende up staying with him in his city for 7 months. We had an intense, unstable, emotional ...
A. 28 November 2012: OP you need to get this guy out of your life. He is toxic for you and definitely not the right person for you to be with. Your relationship was unstable, in your own words. It was something that gave you an adrenaline rush and the passion kept you ... (read in full...)
Should I fight for my relationship or should I move on?
Q. 5 Months ago I thought I found the guy I wanted. He was exactly everything I praid for head, body, and soul. I thought we were a match made in heaven. He was also the first guy I ever dated. He said he loved me and I loved him. We live 40 minutes ...
A. 20 November 2012: Move on! This one is a no-brainer! The guy dumped you without a second thought over something as frivolous as a 40 minutes distance! That's got to be one of the lamest reasons to break up! Its like he needed some reason, any reason in fact, and this ... (read in full...)
I told my friend I only liked him as a friend and now he's avoiding me
Q. I'm a 23 year-old woman who's been facing a weird problem of late. One of my close male friends had recently expressed his fondness for me and politely I've let him know that I only consider him a friend and like him ONLY that way(NB:I'm in a ...
A. 20 November 2012: You are right OP, the fact that you enjoy his company more than your boyfriend's, has given him the idea that you have feelings for him. I have a feeling you have also told him this, at some point of time, that you like his company more.
Men a... (read in full...)
I told my friend I only liked him as a friend and now he's avoiding me
Q. I'm a 23 year-old woman who's been facing a weird problem of late. One of my close male friends had recently expressed his fondness for me and politely I've let him know that I only consider him a friend and like him ONLY that way(NB:I'm in a ...
A. 18 November 2012: Give the guy some time, he's been rejected by you and its much more likely that he is afraid of a public humiliation. He will recover in time, at least he should if he's sensible enough. What I don't understand is, if this guy is such a close friend ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to explain this to my B/f but sometimes I love him and sometimes I don't and instead I feel attracted to other men.
Q. I'll start off by saying that I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 1/2yrs he is 29 and me 24. I know he really loves me and cares for me. He always tells me how he loves and that I'm the love of his life and how he would never cheat ...
A. 17 November 2012: A wise person once said, "Roses lose their bloom. So do relationships". And I think this is the best thing about dating, you can test the waters, see if you're compatible and if you realize down the line that you're not, then you break up and move ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with a violent husband for the sake of the children?
Q. My husband has violent outbursts about 3 -4 times a year. Something small will usually set him off, but everyone in the family knows to run for cover. I have three children (8,11,13) who have witnessed him exploding in a rage. The last time it ...
A. 12 November 2012: Don't expose your kids to this vicious environment. If you stay on in this marriage and excuse your husband's violent outbursts then you are giving the worst possible message to your kids-that its OK for a man to ill-treat his wife and that its ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my dread of the festive season?
Q. i wish i could just cancel xmas and my birthday (30th Dec) the past year has been so awful i dont feel like celebrating. last year we had a secret santa in my family, my uncle was buying for me and even though we all produced lists i didnt ge...
A. 11 November 2012: OP I too was very close to both my grandfathers, maternal and paternal, and I still cant bear the loss even though its been many years since I lost them both. I have tears in my eyes even as I type this because I still cant believe that they are not ... (read in full...)
How do I cope seeing him with someone else when we still live together?
Q. Hi, first of all, no I should not have let myself get into this position, I know. But here I am. I'm in my second year of university, living with a group of friends from halls, one of which I dated for a couple of months during first year. I fell ...
A. 11 November 2012: OP we have all done things that we are ashamed of but if you learn from your mistake then its not a mistake anymore, its a lesson learned the hard way.
Of course you need to stop sleeping with him, that goes without saying, and if you don't th... (read in full...)
My best friend wants a marriage of convenience!
Q. hey aunts and uncles urgent advice needed please. My close male friend and i are both creeping closer to 30. Neither of us is with anybody and we get on very well. We were having a meal at his house, together the other night and got talking about ...
A. 7 November 2012: OP call me old fashioned but for me the only reason to get married is love. Do you really think that a marriage of convenience is a good enough reason? What are you going to tell your kids? Mommy and daddy got married because we couldn't find anyone ... (read in full...)
I need help dealing with PMS
Q. I have PMS and a week before every period I suffer with terrible anxiety, irritability and a short fuse, I can get extremely angry if anything pisses me off, where normally I am well controlled. Does anybody have any suggestions of how I can imp...
A. 7 November 2012: I too have terrible, awful PMS. I try to keep away from colas and aerated drinks as a rule because they're poison for the body. What else...lets see...drink lots of water, do some exercise, have foods rich in calcium, and most importantly stay away ... (read in full...)
Our friends keep asking us if we would like to "house swap" with them! They are relentless!
Q. This may seem trivial but I'm really angry about it... Basically my partner and I have bought a lovely 3 bed house. We've worked hard to be able to afford it- sacrificing things, working all hours, not having a decent holiday for the past 4 y...
A. 4 November 2012: Talk about irritating!! Anyway the next time they say this, just tell them, "You cant be serious! And if you are, let me just put all doubts to rest by saying this for the last time, we don't intend giving this house up for anyone. We always wanted ... (read in full...)
Out of all my past gf's she's the one who loved me the least yet I find her the hardest to get over.
Q. Has anyone seen that movie '500 days of summer'? Well I think it best sums up my "relationship" with this girl. Its been over a year now since I've known her and I've been pursuing. But after I saw this movie for a 2nd time I just learned a lot. ...
A. 3 November 2012: Life unfortunately is rarely fair. You loved this girl with all your life but she only liked you. What can you do in this situation? Remember, you are not the problem and neither is she. She was clear about what she wanted and she never hid anything ... (read in full...)
My grandfather is very ill, b/f wants to go out drinking for his birthday and I'm in a funk! HELP!
Q. Need advice on how to shake this mood off I've had a for a few days now, it's really taking a toll on my relationship. So I got told that my Grandad has only a couple of days left. But my boyfriend birthday is soon and is going out to drink and...
A. 1 November 2012: I know its easy to say that death is inevitable but only someone who is facing the prospect of a loved family member dying will know what it feels like. Don't worry too much about your B/f, as Cerberus says, unless he's the most cold hearted person ... (read in full...)
What is your feelings on someone getting drunk and making out with another person?
Q. Hey guys and girls, about three weeks ago I started dating this girl named lets say Cindy. We spent a lot of time together just watching movies, having sex, talking, and really liking each other. Cindy even bought me a Star Wars t-shirt when s...
A. 31 October 2012: You say you were dating this girl yet you were never officially a couple. What does that mean? If you date someone then you automatically are considered to be a couple and exclusive, unless otherwise specified from the beginning that you are in an ... (read in full...)
After sex I feel like I have used my girlfriend
Q. everytime i make love to my girlfriend after i climax i feel really bad like i have used her a sense of failure and disgust, does every guy feel that ??...
A. 31 October 2012: Do you have a sense of shame associated with sex? Have you had a strict upbringing where sex was supposed to be a bad thing? That's the only reason I can think of.... (read in full...)
Am I too old school or he has boundary issues?
Q. Hello, I am having some issues in my relationship, and I don’t know if its due to boundaries issues or me being old school. I grew up with a lot of guys, I get along with guys better than girls, but I have female friends ...
A. 31 October 2012: You are not the problem OP, your boyfriend is. It is common sense to know what kind of talk is acceptable between friends of the opposite sex and what isn't. Friends don't sit on each other's laps and pose provocatively for pictures and friends ... (read in full...)
For Girls: First Impressions when you meet a guy - is 5 foot six inches tall enough for you? Or do you prefer taller?
Q. Hello This question is mostly for girls Do you find attractive a guy who is 5.6 feet or maybe girls want a guy who is taller. Well I know some responses may be 'a guy must be loyal,caring etc' but my question is related with first impression. T...
A. 30 October 2012: I'm 5'7" so I would definitely want someone taller.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ABANDONED ME far from home today!
Q. THIS IS A LONG ONE BUT PLEASE READ ALL OF IT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK: First of all, we have been together for 3 years. We're both 22 years old. We just moved in together a few months ago. We're both going to the same college full time. ...
A. 30 October 2012: OP if this isn't abuse then what is? You need to talk to your landlord and get your name taken off the lease. This man seems to think that you have no option but to be with him and you will endure him because there is no way out for he, that's why ... (read in full...)
Married user man vs nice guy
Q. Hi, I have been in an affair with a colleague of mine for about 5 months now. He told me he is having a really tough time with his fiance that he has known for 10 years and lived together with. They are separated now and live in different states. ...
A. 29 October 2012: Your married guy is just using you and will never commit to you and I cant believe that someone your age is naive enough to believe all the nonsense that he has dished out!
"He told me he is having a really tough time with his fiance"-Its one of t... (read in full...)
Is telling the truth one option? How do I get out of this tangled web of lies that I created? My Imaginary Gay Boyfriend is causing problems with my ex and I
Q. Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. Firstly let me just say that I am a really honest guy, who doesn't normally lie (truth) (Hard to believe when you hear my story). But one lie I told recently has snowballed into ...
A. 28 October 2012: I'm sorry I cant stop laughing but OH MY GOD!! Seriously what the hell were you thinking!
OK, here's what you do. Come Clean. No more lies, , no more deceit, no more of hunky Joe. You have to tell your ex the truth and be prepared to bear the... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting about porn I found on his laptop when I checked out things on his laptop?
Q. Hi. I'm a 25yr old Female. I have been with my bf for 6yrs now.both of us studied in the same uni where we met through common friends. A year later we moved in together.we have had few ups and downs but he has been an amazing bf through out. Abou...
A. 27 October 2012: Talk about over reacting!! I know there's no point asking this now, but what the hell were you thinking? You're like Hitler with this guy!! Why did you go around snooping into his computer? Yes, you did snoop and it was wrong. You found porn and ... (read in full...)
I want to be more than a friend and study buddy!
Q. Hey everyone, I met this girl in university, I noticed her the first time she walked into the room, she sat by me. I never talked to her because I didn't want to fall for her. A few classes later, she talked to me. The first thing she said to me w...
A. 27 October 2012: To be honest, I dont think she's looking at you in a romantic way. Sorry but that's what it seems like. If you really want to, then you could always ask her out and at least make an attempt so that you wont regret not making the first move, but ... (read in full...)
She lives in his house, wears his clothes and has him at her beck and call... am I wrong to think this is out of order?
Q. My boyfriend and I both are 17. I have recently found out that one of the girls my boyfriend introduced to me as his sister is not, in fact, his sister. She is just a really close family friend. She has no blood or legal ties with him what so ever! ...
A. 27 October 2012: I agree that its not normal and anyone in your place would be upset but if your boyfriend says that there is nothing to worry about, then there isn't. Lots of unexplained relationships exist in the world, maybe this is one of them! Maybe he does ... (read in full...)
Why would an almost stranger go through my bag in these circumstances?
Q. This is a very little matter indeed, but I come to you to find out (or confirm) if it is weird. I'm working with a family - a Father and daughter... they have asked me to adapt their daughter's book that she wrote when she was 6 into a play. Alr...
A. 26 October 2012: I agree, its very weird! I would consider it as an invasion of privacy and I would not like anyone to rummage about in my purse without my permission. For one thing I always carry a sanitary napkin just in case of an emergency, I have various IDs', ... (read in full...)
Would it be best to wait? New relationship: Is there really anytime where sex is to soon?
Q. after having my daughter 5 months ago, and her father leaving me while i was pregnant .. I Finally met someone amazing . He Makes me laugh , has a great personality , extreamly attractive , has a lot of things going for himself There's nothi...
A. 26 October 2012: Its best to wait a little while longer. Cherish the good time that you have and enjoy the budding relationship. Sex will eventually become a part of it but it shouldn't be the only thing to focus on. ... (read in full...)
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