A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:History on my relationship. I've been with this guy for over 2 yrs now. At the beig inning of our relationship he was controlling and made me change how I dress until I put my foot down. He didnt trust me or anything and his excuse was cause his girl friend he had before be cheate on him. i got tired kf that too and we argued ablut it often. He also kept telling me how he wanted a threesome all the time. he kept pressuring me to find someone to do it with when i told him multiple times i wasnt sure ablut that as i dont believe ppl should have sex with other ppl when in a relationship. so i just put off the conversation... Then I got pregnant on accident about 5 months into our relationship. I was surprised to find that out. But the pregnancy seemed to make things better. I had our daughter last yr in February and afterwards he got rude again and pressured about the threesome again. I ended up getting depressed from all of this ( also with all my hormones messed up from having a baby) and I gave in. Ik it was stupid of me to. I found a girl who was willing and during it I basically was numb and just tried not to think till it was over. He wasn't appreciative about it at all saying how she wasn't pretty enough and was pissed off again. I just ignored him for about two months ( this was about August last yr now).We finally started not to fight but our relationship was awkward and I felt depressed. I didn't feel attractive since I haven't gotten all the baby weight off but my daughter was pretty much the only thing that made me happy ever. She made my pain go away. Then in December I find out I'm pregnant once again and te first feeling I felt was almost dread because I couldn't believe I was going to have another baby with him. I went to the doctor and found that I was pregnant since August and I was on the pill the whole time never missing a day or anything. I barely even had sex with my boyfriend but the doctor said there is 1 percent chance for this to happen and I just happened to be that 1 percent. The baby is perfectly fine though thank god. So my bf just gets depressed and since December he has barely said anything and seems to get mad or frustrated whenever I try to talk to him about anything. I've been trying to ignore it but I feel like our relationship is taking alot of me. I've never done anything to make him made at me he just seems so controlling and to be honest I have no idea why I have stayed with him all this time.Ik what some of you will say. You'll say just leave him but it isn't that easy. My daughter absolutely loves him as be is her father and he supports our family ( I lost my job in December due to babysitter problems and having to call in) I've been searching and searching for a new job but no luck and everyone is hesitant to hire someone who will be giving birth in late April. I live with him and I mean I could go back to my parents but it's a full house there and I have other past issues with them... I could try his parents but I feel like they would take his side even though they love me like a daughter. I've never told anyone about any of this. And my bf acts completely different In public and Infrint of family he acts all loving and happy. And it really messes with my emotions. I'm not sure if he suffers from depression but I'm started to get worried he does. I just don't know what to do. He loves our daughter more than anything and treats her like she's te best thing ever which is good but this relationship isn't good for me. I just don't know how or if I should leave him. She's only one years old and I don't want to have her living in a divorce type of relationship but I'm getting tired of all of this.Anyone have any advice?
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depressed, divorce, his ex, the pill, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2013): "She's only one years old and I don't want to have her living in a divorce type of relationship but I'm getting tired of all of this."You're not doing your daughter or unborn child any favors by remaining in an unhealthy, dysfunctional short-term relationship to which you cling only because it has resulted in two unplanned pregnancies.The only way you could have spared your daughter from "living in a divorce type relationship" would have been to have chosen a suitable potential husband as the father of your children. You failed to do so and you can't rectify that mistake post-conception. Sad situation, but you must let go of the skewed romantic fantasy while accepting the reality that you are tied to this guy for life as co-parent. You've made a huge mistake, all you can do is spend the rest of your life minimizing the damage to your kids.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 March 2013):
 You don't have to leave him, like today. Once you set goals on how you are going to live your life without him, then sharing space with him now won't feel too miserable, and you won't feel as stuck. Just focus on having a peaceful birth and try not to argue with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is possibly depressed because he doesn't know if he can support the three of you. He feels you want to leave him. He is dreading the break up of the family. Tell him you don't want it to come to this either. So he has to fix his issues if he wants a chance of a healthy, happy family. Tell him to stop this bullshit on control and threesomes.
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A
female
reader, opeyemi  +, writes (3 March 2013):
 U hav made mistake from the beginning.if u know u can cope ,continue and if not leave him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2013): It is time for you to stop having sex with him. If he isn't going to respect you as the mother of his children, don't reward him with sex.It is time for him to grow up and be a dad for his kids. If he can do this and mature as a person, then maybe you can give him another chance later.
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